Sdtrk: ‘The march of pure mathematical evil that ends and results in war’ by Add N to (X)

When filmmaker Allison De Fren stopped round round last Summer to shoot her documentary, she had asked me if I knew of any other people throughout history who also formed relationships with Synthetik partners. One of the only two I could think of off the top of my head was Oskar Kokoschka, a Viennese Expressionist painter from the beginning of the 20th Century. He had had an intense three-year relationship with Alma Mahler, who was his model, his muse, and his lover. Unfortunately, things got a wee bit too intense for Alma, and the affair ended; however, he was still obsessed with her. Later Kokoschka learned that she was not only seeing someone new, but also that she had aborted what was thought to be his child. Kokoschka then went to serve as a lieutenant during WWI, where he received a bayonet wound, and was captured behind enemy lines.

By 1918, Kokoschka was living in Dresden after recovering physically and mentally from the war, but he still found himself obsessed with Alma. He then contacted dollmaker Hermine Moos to assemble a life-sized and anatomically-correct replica of his former lover, in order to fill the void in his heart. After several months of correspondence, during which he sent copious notes, paintings and sketches as to how the Alma-Puppe was to look, Moos finished the Doll about a year later.

Alma-puppe, with her creator Hermine Moos (right)

The packing-case arrived. Kokoschka writes: “In a state of feverish anticipation, like Orpheus calling Eurydice back from the Underworld, I freed the effigy of Alma Mahler from its packing. As I lifted it into the light of day, the image of her I had preserved in my memory stirred into life. “He got his servant to spread rumours about the doll, to give the public impression that she was a real woman: “for example, that I had hired a horse and carriage to take her out on sunny days, and rented a box for her at the Opera in order to show her off”.
quoted from this site

Despite Kokoschka’s initial excitement, apparently Moos’ replica left him sexually unsatisfied, so the Alma-Puppe was simply employed as a life-model, which garnered him some thirty pen-and-ink drawings.
Unfortunately, the Alma-Puppe met with a tragic fate, as one evening, at a party that Kokoschka held in his studio,

I gave a big champagne Party with chamber music, during which my maid Hulda exhibited the doll in all its beautiful clothes for the last time. When dawn broke – I was quite drunk, as was everyone else – I beheaded it out in the garden and broke a bottle-of red wine over its head.

A sad end to a life too short..

I have to say that in researching Alma-Puppe’s brief existence, I’ve found most of my info from two sources; the one linked above, and a couple of pages on a site dealing with Alma Mahler, and sometimes the information proved to be contradictory. One states that Kokoschka wilfully had the rumours and stories spread of his attending the opera with Alma-Puppe, whereas the other site states that his housemaid Hulda started them, being a scurrilous (and possibly jealous) gossip. So one’s really left to draw their own conclusions.. At the very least, it can’t be denied that Alma-Puppe inspired Kokoschka on some level. It almost goes without saying that if I had a TARDIS, Sidore-chan and I would have to pay the pair a visit during their happier days..
Sometime in the near-future, I’ll do a write-up on the Other iDollator from ages past, Hans Bellmer..

On a completely unrelated note, this is Post Number 275. Happy Friday the 13th!

Sdtrk: ‘Mr. Dante Fontana’ by Piero Piccioni

Every couple of months, I run across someone doing an article on the whole Borghild mythos, and I never really know if it’s real or not.

The world’s first sexdoll – or ”gynoid” – was built in 1941 by a team of craftsmen from Germanys Hygiene Museum Dresden. The project was supervised by the famous preparator and technician Franz Tschakert. The ”Father of the woman of glass”, which happened to be the sensation in 1930’s II. International Hygiene-Exhibit, used his skills and experience in order to create a kind of doll the world had never seen before.

The ”field-hygienic project” was an initiative of Reichsführer SS Heinrich Himmler, who regarded the doll as an ” counterbalance” (or regulating effect )for the sexual drive of his stormtropers. In one his letters, dated 20.11.1940 he mentions the ”unnessessary losses”, the Wehrmacht had suffered in France inflicted by street prostitutes.
”The greatest danger in Paris are the wide-spread and uncontrolled whores, picking by clients in bars, dancehalls and other places . It is our duty to prevent soldiers from risking their health, just for the sake of a quick adventure.”

The project – called Burghild in the first place – was considered ”Geheime Reichssache” , which was ”more secret than top secret” at the time. Himmler put his commander-in-chief SS-Dr. Joachim Mrurgowsky in charge, the highest ranking officer of Berlins notorious SS-institute.

Ultimately, it sounded like a good plan — keep the soldiers sexually satisfied whilst preventing them from succumbing to gonhorrea — but it didn’t get too much of a chance, both financially and time-wise, to get off the ground, as the Nazi war machine was too busy concentrating on constructing planes, tanks, and the like. You know — war stuff.
And answering the question of ‘if Borghild was built, or at least planned, why didn’t we have the Deutsche equivalent of RealDolls long ago?’, well, the factory that was assigned to make Borghilds was located in Dresden, which was incinerated, thereby making use of that nice loophole there.

I’ve heard the story debunked a couple of times, but unfortunately Snopes.com comes up trumps on Fraulein Borghild — if she ever existed.
Pfft. Next, they’ll be saying that the Haunibu series of Nazi flying saucers was never constructed

Sdtrk: ‘Heroin face’ by The cure

During a recent conversation with Miz Laslocky, she pointed out that one of the aspects she got from my relationship with Sidore-chan was almost that of a performance art piece. We both agreed that there’s very little enjoyable performance art out there, unless we’re talking about ‘Sprockets‘, of course. I mentioned that her perception of that isn’t too wide off the mark, but it’s definitely a by-product, and not something that I’d set out to do.
However, once she’d mentioned that, my mind almost immediately turned to London-based performance/multimedia artists Jemima Brown & Dolly Brown. I’d read a brief article mentioning them in an issue of The Face years ago, and sequestered them in my mental filing cabinet, for reasons that will quickly become apparent.. It took about three years to find any decent sort of info on either of them, but, once again, threatening Google with a blackjack poised over its head, I found their website.

left, Jemima Brown; right, Dolly Brown

For the last decade Brown has been joined by her inanimate double, a life sized doll simply titled ‘Dolly’. Modelled upon Brown’s features, and often wearing the same clothes, Dolly is an uneasy and mute collaborator: a guardian spirit or questioning shadow? For all this she is very present, hanging out in the gallery, posing for photo-shoots or propped on the family sofa.

Plus, there’s a fab little interview with Jemima, the more vocal half of the duo, here.

SPEAK: Has spending so much time together made you closer to Dolly?

Jemima: I think in a way I have become closer to her. It’s been a real test for our relationship. It’s put a strain on, and changed the relationship in some way. It’s made me want to have her become totally dependent on me. She’s getting away from me too much when I share her. I’m reluctant to let her take on a life of her own, although that’s one of the things I set out to do when I was making her. The process of defining my relationship to her has made me so protective of her that I don’t want her to have her own life. I’m frightened for her that she won’t be able to cope. I’m not worried that she’s going to upstage me, as she does that anyway.

Earlier video installation works consist of Jemima and Dolly seated in chairs, with Jemima unsuccessfully trying to imitate Dolly’s inanimateness. Other projects feature the pair being tourists out-of-doors, buying postcards and having their photos taken near various landmarks. And if you check anything the twins have produced, it’s always credited to Jemima and Dolly Brown. I happen to think that’s really ace

Sdtrk: ‘Rock me booa’ by Merzbow

I have to apologise for the lack of recent posting or updates and sundry, as I’ve been attempting to keep a rather low profile lately. It seems that the recent Salon.com article has not only produced bandwidth spikes the likes of which neither Shi-chan nor I have ever seen, but also a passel of radical feminists are now literally shrieking for my blood, as I, more than any other man in recorded history, am singlehandedly responsible for the subjugation of all women, simply because I’m an iDollator. It’s True! Ahh, notoriety. Is it Good or Bad? I can’t tell from here…
At any rate, the longer, unadulterated version (with a better title) of Meghan’s excellent article is now online here. Read it! It’s markedly better, and if you’re anything of an open-minded individual who was perhaps unfortunately led away from reason by knife-wielding feminazis*, the full article makes a hell of a lot more sense. It’s literally like watching ‘Blade runner’, then seeing the Director’s cut version — it’s like two different films. Well, stories.

On a more acquisitional note; yesterday, I managed to score an inexpensive copy of the Tetsujin 28 box set — just over $15, compared to the $28 – $30 that most online shops want for it — and my copy of Merzbow’s ‘SCSI duck‘ Cd arrived through the post today, which I’m listening to right this very minute. So far, it’s rather sonically penetrating, which is what I require out of my Japanese power-electronic artists. Good job, Masami-san!
And thanx to a benefactor, yesterday I got a new computer! It’s a Toshiba Satellite M55-S135, that I kinda had to jump through some retail hoops to obtain. I’d recount the story here, but it’s a bitter one, and I’m trying to maintain a rare good mood, here. But the laptop boasts a 80 GB harddrive, 512 MB of RAM, and a DVD burner. It’s got some other bollocks as well, which I’ve not paid a whole lot of attention to, as the three qualities I’d mentioned are the selling points for this difference engine for me. So that’s also a factor in my recent silence; not only have been adding all my old software, I’ve also been trying to configure the look and feel of the fecker, so that it’s similar to my old machine. Colour me satisfied!
However, I have to say without reservation, that touchpads are fucking shite. Ergh. I’ll be getting a mouse for this bad boy really soon..

Annnd back to Synthetik women (heh; that didn’t take long, but I stick to what I know), I ran across a photo on 4chan recently of two Japanese lasses seated on a train. They were twins; one was Synthetik, and the other was Organik, and they were both dressed in the height of Elegant Gothic Lolita fashion. Whoever posted the photo didn’t give any names or details, and as a consequence, I had to repost it in the Request board, to find out what the source was, the lasses’ names, anything. A couple of days later, someone provided the URL http://absolutmetropolis.com, and after duly scouring that site, I learned that the name of the Organik lass was Marie Honda, who worked in conjunction with a doll maker by the name of Erimo. So after a number of minutes grabbing Google Japan by the lapels and shaking the information out it, I successfully located Erimo’s site. I have to say, his work is overall rather fab, but my interest is especially piqued by his life-sized Dolls. But that goes without saying!

left, Marie Honda; right, Marie Honda

Right, I’m off to meet up with Penda, for our (mostly) monthly dinner rendezvous. I am having ridiculous cravings for tendon and that soba with the dipping sauce right now

*I don’t use that term too often, so it really means a lot here

EDIT (05 June 2008): The Pandagon, err, ‘people’, have deleted the above-linked post for reasons unknown. Thankfully it’s archived on the Internet Wayback Machine, so you can view the baseless vitriol here

Sdtrk: ‘Fun city’ by Soft cell

(Before commencing with this part, have you read the previous section first? It’ll make more sense that way, trust me.)

MONDAY, 01 AUGUST
Since we’d be starting the day’s filming at 10am, once again, Shi-chan and I got up at 7am for preparation’s sake; also, since I spoke with Mari before hitting the sack last night, she wanted me to swing round and pick her up at 9am. Shi-chan wore the same gear as yesterday, with the exception of her black O-ring collar, and I switched to a white shirt (so we’d both have on white tops and black bottoms), a slim grey tie, and my Chuck Taylor trainers.

After prepping the Missus, I motored out to Mari’s place at a little after 9am. Now, the house where she lives has a bit of a problem, in the fact that her doorbell doesn’t work, and she’s in a room at the bipolar opposite of the main entrance. So in short, if she’s asleep, knocking doesn’t do any damn good. I rang her a couple of times from my car, as a large black dog happened to be wandering round loose next door, with no answer. As the clock was ticking, I ended up driving away at 10.25, letting Allison and Grant know that I’d be a little late.
As an aside, it turns out that yesterday we’d really lucked out with the weather, as it reached the upper 80s round 10am, with a high of something like 89°. Good thing we’d be inside for the majority of the filming today..
Having gotten home, and after leaving a message on Mari’s voicemail that I’d call her back before we hit Nippon kai, Allison and Grant appeared round 11am. They were more well-rested than before, and Allison was sporting a t-shirt that read ‘ACTION FIGURE’ across the front. ‘That would look good on the Missus’, I quipped. ‘I picked this up from a thrift store, but when it’s outlived its usefulness to me, I’ll send it to you,’ she responded. We’re holding you to that! 🙂

As our reservation at Nippon kai wasn’t until 1pm, our first objective stop on today’s agenda was to ostensibly film me wandering round an intimate boutique, picking out stuff for Shi-chan, so I suggested Priscilla’s over on Woodward. The three of us went up to the counter, and Allison explained the situation to the clerk, and asked if they could film me for a couple of minutes. The clerk, a short, slightly chunky blonde with apple cheeks, said that she’d have to call the district manager. After a two minute call, she said that the manager said no, so our raiding party schlepped on out of there. However, Grant did get some footage of me gazing at the Mannequins in the window. (NOTE TO PRISCILLA’S STAFFERS: Your Mannequins are in shoddy condition — get them refurbished.)
I’d suggested that we try over at a Lover’s Lane, another intimate boutique chain, but we reasoned that we might very well run up against the same wall there as we did with Priscilla’s. Then it occurred to me that we should give “Brown bag it” in Clawson a go, as not only are they independently owned, but they’ve been round much longer than either of the aforementioned chain stores, and I’m sure they’d appreciate the publicity/business. So we headed to “Brown bag it” (the quotation marks are apparently part of the name; don’t ask me why) and entered, waiting patiently to speak with the 60-year-old female clerk on the phone. As it turned out, we were rejected there as well. The clerk said that as a matter of fact, the store owner was the person she was just on the phone with, and he wouldn’t go for publicity like that. She explained that what it basically boils down to is that the cities of Royal oak and Clawson have these draconian ordinances regarding stores selling articles of a sexual nature, and too much publicity would draw attention to “Brown bag it” and possibly get them shut down. So they’re doing a ‘hiding in plain sight’ kind of thing; their front door (which is locked; you have to enter from the rear) has an 18 and Under Prohibited statement on it, and unlike Lover’s Lane and Priscilla’s, they don’t even have window displays, just block glass and brick. So basically, we’d come up trumps again..

We still had some time, but Allison wanted some footage of me doing something I normally do, only without the presence of Shi-chan. As we were driving away from “Brown bag it”, Grant hit upon the idea of perhaps someplace anime-related. At first, I thought, ‘ah, nice one, but the only anime store I can think of is Wizzywig, which is an hour away in Ann arbor’, but it struck me – Warp 9 might be promising. So Grant swung the rental round, as Warp 9 is across the street from “Brown bag it”, oddly enough. Well, the third time was indeed a charm, as the counter clerk said it wouldn’t be a problem for us to film in the store. Rock on!
I’d never been to Warp 9 before; I’d passed it several times en route to other places, but never got round to stopping inside since they opened back in the late 90s, and I think I’m going to make a point of getting round there more often. Any place that carries not only Edward Scissorhands Kubricks, but the original Micronauts Rocket tubes is alright in my book. 🙂 Grant duly filmed me walking into the store and casting my gaze about, and Allison wanted to get me looking over a Chii figure from ‘Chobits’, and Armitage from ‘Armitage III’, as she had managed to license footage from both features.
After getting some good shots there, we made our leave, and I rung Mari to tell her that we’d be going home to obtain the Missus, after which, we’d pick her up, which we carried out. Ironically enough, Mari was to later tell me that since she thought I would knock on the livingroom window due to their non-functioning doorbell, she got a nap in on the livingroom floor. *grits teeth*

We showed up at Nippon kai round 1.30, about 30min late (our schedules were all kinds of screwed up that day, as you’ve probably sussed by now), to a crowd of five patrons at the last half of the lunch rush. One of the reasons that I love Nippon kai so much is that hardly anyone is ever there. Whenever Monti and I go for our monthly dinner dates, there’s usually never more than five or six other patrons there, and I’m talking Saturday evenings here, so I thought it would make for a perfect place for bringing Sweetie and a film crew.
After speaking with the manager / head sushi chef, and reminding him who we were, we were allowed to bring the Missus in through the backdoor into the shoji-screened private seating area in back. ‘Oh! Scary!’ was one of the comments I’d caught from one of the waitresses, but I didn’t hold it against them. In fact, it was kinda funny: after we’d gotten ourselves situated and ordered our food, one of the waitresses who recognised me as being a regular came back in with our green tea while Grant was filming.
‘What is her name?’ she asked me.
‘This is Sidore Kuroneko,’ I replied.
‘Ohh, Sidore Kuroneko,’ the waitress repeated, ‘She is your other girlfriend?’
I nodded. ‘I’m lucky.’ 🙂

Filming and eating continued as Mari and I sat on either side of the Missus at the end of the table, and Grant shot us interacting ‘normally’. Upon reflection, I don’t think I interacted enough with Sweetie, as I was concentrating on devouring my tendon (I, ah, kinda skipped brekky that morning) and helping Mari to not be so nervous on-camera. ‘Davecat is the only friend I have that I would go on-camera for’, she said. ‘You’re a good friend,’ Grant replied.
Allison asked Mari a couple of questions about how she met me and Shi-chan, and how she perceives our relationship, to which Mari said some very beautiful things, but the best part was probably before the legitimate question segment when Mari and I were speaking, and she had told me that she would’ve dressed Shi-chan differently. ‘For one, she’d be wearing more clothing.’ ‘What d’ya mean by that?’ I replied, opening Sweetie’s blouse up some more. When Allison asked what Mari meant, she said that I dress Shi-chan in the style that a guy would want her to dress, which is arguably true. It was actually pretty funny — one of those ‘you had to be there’ things — and I hope A & G manage to edit it into the finished product..

Allison had informed the head sushi chef that we’d be packing up our stuff and out of there by 3.30, as we were doing our shooting during Nippon kai’s after-lunch-before-dinner cleanup and restock time, but by the time we actually finished the Q&A segment, we ran into overtime by about 20min. Which sucked cos not only did Allison ask only about a third of the questions she’d written down, but the head sushi chef apparently had a doctor’s appointment that he had to reschedule, which none of us knew about. All of us alternately apologised and thanked him profusely, and I told him that next time Monti and I were up, we’d be ordering a large dinner. On our way out, he and the waitress who knew me (yes; next time I’m up, I’ll ask them their names) were asking me how I knew about karakuri, as that was one of the things Allison asked me to explain. They were also under the impression that I made Sidore myself! I explained that ‘a friend’ in California makes her as well as a few others, and each ningyou (Doll) costs around $6000. ‘When you come back, you can order a $6000 dinner!’ Ha ha! 😐

Yeah, Monday was definitely our ‘pressed for time’ day, but Allison said that she could probably use some of the extra footage from the cemetery shoot to make up for it. However, at that point, it was near 4pm, and we had to make some informed decisions as where to go next, as A & G had to be at Metro Airport by 6pm to catch their respective flights home. Grant decided we should probably get more location footage, and since practically everytime I mentioned Detroit either on- or off-camera it was closely followed by the phrase ‘urban decay’, they asked us where would be some good places to go film some blight. They were on the hunt for blight. Also, they never got a chance to film the Fox theatre yesterday, so they wanted to hit that as well. I suggested we take Woodward going south, as passing through Highland park would be a blight hotbed.
If we’d had more time (and if my capacity for thinking wasn’t completely destroyed from the heat), I would’ve suggested Rivertown and Chene park, but instead we commenced Blight Search ’99 over off east I-75 by Holbrook. We drove round a couple of factories and warehouses, Allison behind the wheel and Grant filming out the passenger side window, when we slowed down past the open door to some warehouse or other. A shop rat and some girl he was talking to noticed us and approached Grant’s open window with a wad of what looked like napkins in his hand, saying ‘Hey, check this out’. Then he must’ve caught sight of the Missus, cos at that point, he threw the napkins down and asked ‘What’s going on here? Who are they?’
‘They’re just people,’ Grant answered.
The shop rat turned suddenly hostile. ‘Go on, get outta here. You want me to break your $60, 000 fuckin’ camera? Get the fuck outta here.’ As Grant rolled the window up, Allison reversed the Taurus, with the shop rat peering in through the car windows all the while until we left the lot.
‘This is why I don’t go outside,’ I commented, only half-jokingly.

After our little encounter with the lower class, we managed to get some shots of parts of Hamtramck, as well as Woodward leading up to the Fox, and Elwood grill. As a final point of interest, Allison wanted to attempt filming in the semi-famous Michigan theatre, the forrmer-picture-palace-turned-car-park, so we headed there as well. It’s open for visitors, but unfortunately, we arrived an hour too late. *shakes fist* Grant filmed some of the surrounding buildings, whilst I summarised how growing up in Detroit has affected me as an iDollator, and as a person in general.

Finally, A & G dropped Shi-chan, Mari and myself back at the homestead close to 6.30pm, after a long but mostly rewarding day of filming. Mari and I signed release forms, only I had stipulated on mine that the end product would not be screened in Michigan. The reason for that should be obvious; without that clause, I could very well picture the documentary being shown at the Main Art theatre, followed by a review in our popular local alternative paper, the MetroTimes: ‘One of the movie’s subjects is Davecat, who owns a doll of his own, and lives in Detroit..’ Sure, bad press is better than no press at all, but you have to draw the line somewhere.
Speaking of the end product, I’ve not really given any other details! The film, which doesn’t yet have a title, should be between 90min and 2 hours in length, and Allison hopes to have it finished by the end of the year, so that she can shop it round to various international film festivals. Among the other people interviewed were Matt McMullen (of course), Hajime Sorayama, staffers at Orient industry and project LEVEL-D, Robert Parigi (who apparently lives just up the road from Allison), Gaby Wood (author of the ace book ‘Edison’s Eve’), iDollators Prof.Sakai and Ta-bo-san, a couple of staffers from Kobayashi Lab who worked on Android SAYA (Actroid-chan’s older, not-as-attractive sister), a few other individuals, and of course, Elena Dorfman. They’ll be sending me a DVD when the editing is finished, and as soon as I get any news, I’ll be sure to incessantly blab about it..
Handshakes and hugs and farewells for everyone, and our film crew friends were back in their red Taurus heading for the airport. I have to say that both of them did an extraordinary job of putting myself and Mari at ease, and being able to put up with my initial reluctance at immediate scheduling. They were both ace to work with, and I’m looking forward not only to the finished documentary, but to hearing from them again. Well done, Allison and Grant! Thumbs up!

Mari and I went inside to cool off and for a post-game chat, and assessed that the three of us presented ourselves really well. Every couple of years Shi-chan and I get another fifteen minutes of fame, and I’m glad, cos we’re doing what we can to promote the idea that Synthetiks, whether they’re high-end love dolls such as RealDolls, or full-fledged Artificial humans, are not something to be feared or reviled, and those who are interested in Synthetiks are relatively normal people who are open-minded enough to enjoy manufactured beauty, and appreciate the technological advancements that Synthetiks happen to be as well.
Perhaps the techs at Kokoro co. Ltd. will invite Shi-chan and I to meet one of their lovely Actroids one day! Anything can happen once you set your mind to it, you know

Sdtrk: ‘What you want’ by My bloody valentine

On 31 Jul and 01 Aug, Sidore-chan and I were once again in front of the camera, for another documentary about high-end love dolls, Gynoids, and Synthetiks in general. Allison De Fren and Grant Mitchell, creators of the 2001 documentary ‘ASFR‘, had been working on this film for about four years, and upon Elena Dorfman’s recommendations, advised to arrange a visit and an interview with myself and Sweetie, due to my many insights on the aforementioned subjects. Despite the fact that I thought it would have been better to conduct the meeting later in the year, when the temperature was less volcanic, and despite having to make several snap decisions on arrangements and scheduling, I’d say the whole experience turned out rather well..

SUNDAY, 31 JULY
I awoke at an inconceivable 7am, in order to get myself and Shi-chan prepped for our impending festivities. Even though Allison’s flight was landing at 9.30, and it would take about an hour to get from Metro Airport to mine, I wanted to get ready ASAP, so I could get some Gundam vs Zeta Gundam in to take the edge off while we waited. 🙂
Shortly after finishing dressing Sweetie, I rang Marika, as she was slated to appear at some point to provide the perspective of someone who personally knows an iDollator, but she wasn’t awake. (She didn’t get up until 2pm that day.) I left a message saying that we’d be commencing shooting at noon, and I’d have my phone off, so I’d give her a ring when we were done.
What were we wearing, you axe? Shi-chan was wearing her black slingbacks, purple sheer hose, Hello Kitty knickers, short black PVC skirt, a black PVC waist cincher (the one with the buckles), a white blouse featuring cleavage, her silver O-ring collar, and her mid-length purple wig with the black streak. (She was pretty much dressed like she was in her ‘Black, white and purple’ shoot, for the most part.) I was wearing my German tank driver boots, black cargo trousers, a grey shirt, and a slim black tie with my steel tie clip. So, nothing unusual for either of us, really..

A little after 10am, I got a call from Grant. Sort of. I answered to the sound of Allison speaking to him, with some noise in the background. ‘Hallo? Hallo?‘ I repeated. What d’ya know! I’d been ass-called.
An ass-call, if you’re not familiar with it, is when you have a cellphone that has buttons on the face, and it’s wedged in a trouser back pocket, and through shifting and reseating yourself, a part of your body (usually your arse) manages to hit the Redial button. You have no idea that you’ve called someone, but there you are, letting your bum do the walking. I once received an ass-call that lasted a rather surreal two minutes, as this person that I knew was talking to her boyfriend. I really couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could distinctly hear the Jackson Five on the radio in the background. I don’t know what to make of that..
They made a legitimate call shortly after that, letting me know they were en route but needed to grab some breakfast, so I directed them to Xhedos cafe over on 9 mile. Having done that, I got back to Gundam vs Zeta Gundam..

Round 11am, a red Taurus containing the film crew arrived outside my house. Allison, the director, a cheery and well-studied lass who could be Elena’s near-twin sister, and Grant, the producer, a tall Texan transplant, comprised the crew, as that’s what being an independent filmmaker is all about. One of the many odd-but-good-kind-of-odd occurences was that Allison looked rather like Elena in appearance and build. (I even jokingly greeted Allison with ‘Hey, Elena!’ when she stepped out of the car.) The truly odd part about that is that, as I’d said, she and Grant have been working on this Doll- and Synthetiks-based project for four years, and they’d started roughly around the same time that Elena began her ‘Still Lovers’ project. Neither one knew the other was practically working on the same thing until a year or so in, as they had both met Matt McMullen as well as a few other luminaries in the world of Synthetiks, and I’m sure at some point, someone said something along the lines of ‘Oh, you’re doing an article about RealDolls, just like _____ is!’ So at some point, since Elena had the lead with her project, she recommended that Allison attempt to get hold of me for an interview, due to my outspokenness on the subject, and also due to Shi-chan’s distinctive appearance. It took a while, but here we are, really..

In due course, we drove over to Woodlawn cemetery, reaching it shortly before noon. As I’d stated on several occasions, my greatest fear was that it would be unbearably hot and/or humid, but to our surprise, it was rather breezy, despite the fact that it was in the upper 70s, and pleasantly sunny. After some minutes’ setup time, Grant then shot footage of Shi-chan and I driving up one of the cemetery roads as if the rental car was ours, and stopping next to where I had chosen a particular monument a few days ago, where I was to carry her out to the filming area while filming continued. From there to the car door was about fifteen feet, and I guess I seriously overestimated my abilities, as about eight feet into our walk, my left arm supporting the Missus’ torso decided to retire early, leaving me to rapidly drop to my knees to avoid dropping her. Shi-chan escaped injury, praise “Bob”, but I don’t mind telling you; that was fucking embarrassing.
Things got markedly better after Allison helped me lift the Missus to the monument. I’d chosen it based on three factors: closeness to the road (ha!), relatively well-shaded, and with a great view of the algae-coated pond near the back. So as I regained my strength, Shi-chan and I sat in the shade, watching the dragonflies flit across the surface of the water, whilst Grant did some additional shooting. I would’ve had Allison snap a couple of still pics, but I’d left Clicky Mk II at home, unfortunately.. But I don’t mind telling you, it felt extraordinarily nice to be able to sit holding Shi-chan, in one of the few places where I don’t mind being out-of-doors, and I’m certain she enjoyed every minute of it as well.

We filmed for quite a while at the first monument, then we moved on to another one nearby, which was a well-shaded affair featuring columns and a bench. After getting ourselves photogenically arranged, Allison fired some more questions at me. Between the first location and here, the various topics covered (not in order, of course) were:

How I discovered the RealDoll phenomenon / Making my choices as to Shi-chan’s appearance, as regards her face, body, makeup, and dress sense / ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ / What Shi-chan ultimately means to me / What others think of the Missus / My estimation of Elena’s work / What is Goth? / What is Gothic-Lolita? / Detroit’s current downward spiral / Meeting other Doll owners in person / ‘Love object’: Good or Bad? / The meaning behind Sidore’s name, and some of her articles of jewelry / What’s in Sweetie’s purse? / Proper makeup application / Organiks vs Synthetiks / When did I first realise that I had a Mannequin and Doll fetish / Hans Bellmer and Oskar Kokoschka

And there’s about a third more subjects that were brought up as well, that I can’t recall immediately, but yeah, we covered quite a bit! As Allison said, we really should’ve brought more water, as we were getting parched..

Our party migrated to one last location, where Grant filmed me reading a interview-specific book with the Missus on the steps of a mausoleum. By that time, it was after 5pm, and we were beginning to lose light, so Allison wanted to drive round downtown to get some location shots. We packed everything back up in the rental Taurus, and shuttled the Missus back home, as it had been quite a day for her, as you could well suspect. Not to mention that she was in various poses for long periods of time, and I wanted her to relax in the neutral position for several hours, in order to let her silicone unstretch.

Allison, Grant and I took I-75 downtown, and parked in a car park adjacent to Hart Plaza. While Allison and I blabbed about several Doll- and non-Doll related items at great and engaging length, Grant wandered off and got some shots of the Joe Louis fist. About an hour or so later, he returned, telling us that he had been trying to get shots of the Renaissance Center (now the GM Headquarters), and security guards advised him against any filming. So he went across the street to film the GM building from there, and the guards still told him he was forbidden to shoot, even though he was on public property. The guards asked for ID, which Grant refused, saying he wasn’t doing anything wrong, and one of the four guards actually called for backup, at which point three plainclothes guards materialised in a car. Grant showed them his ID, figuring apart from the fact that he had nothing to hide, but he doesn’t live in Michigan anyway, and he’d said the plainclothes guys were relatively nice about it; at least, nicer than the rent-a-cop guards. Probably the most action those security tossers had seen in years, and they wanted to make the most of it..
So when the three of us were in Hart Plaza proper, Grant shot the RenCen from behind the Noguchi fountain. oooh, sneaky.

After supper at a restaurant in Greektown, it was time to bring an end to Sunday’s activities. Allison told me that with most of the people she’d interviewed, she has an average of three hours of good, usable footage. With me, she has around five hours. Plus, my informative, humourous and relaxed demeanour on-camera will make for good scenes. And of course, Shi-chan’s natural and unique beauty is a definite selling point. Heh, flattery will get you everywhere.. 🙂
I climbed into bed exhausted and with my arms and legs still throbbing from carting the Missus round so much, but she and I had done an ace job, and the day had turned out better than expected. Full points all round!

NEXT UP: Monday!