Sdtrk: ‘R.I.P. KISN’ by US girls

Think of this as kind of a prelude to next month’s ‘Any Synthetiks-related news…?’ post, which I am working on right this very minute! You may be asking yourself, ‘but how can he be writing two posts simultaneously??’ Well, it’s simple. Not only did I buy a second laptop, but I’ve cloned myself. When Davecat β is finished writing the other post, I will bludgeon him to death with the computer, thereby tying up any and all loose ends. Hey, if they can kill off clones with gleeful abandon in Æon Flux and The Venture brothers, who am I to be critical?

Anyway! In checking the website of 4woods‘ European distributor (and KnightHorse‘s soon-to-be distributors), Doll Story, they had this linked in their News section: someone had done a brief but moving series of photos featuring one of 4woods’ beautiful Elina models.

You can view the rest on the Emotein website here.

And speaking of artificial women and the photos they often appear in, remember how Sidore-chan and I were in a photoshoot ourselves towards the beginning of the year? Thanks to a tip from equally-rabid iDollator Mrs ARDO, it seems they’re out!

photo © by Stephan Gladieu

They look and act like the guy next door, but they live with life-size silicone dolls: flawless, Barbie-like, and pricey at USD $7,000 apiece. Called iDollators, these men, usually in their mid-forties and often shy, prefer their perfect-looking dolls to real women. In a society where being married with two kids is still the social norm, they are a bit ashamed of it. Blame it on their lack of social skills, or call them weirdos. Listen to them, however, and they will convince you that their silent companions, dubbed Real Dolls for their lifelike appearance and anatomical correctness, play a much bigger role in their lives than your average sex toy. The emotional bond is so strong that some dare to call it love.
the rest of the article is here

Showcasing colleagues CJD, Mahtek, Euchre, Slade, and with shots of Abyss creations’ studio, ‘Real Dolls and iDollators’ is the title of the photo-essay by Anne Vial and Stephan Gladieu, and overall it’s pretty nifty. Although I don’t really recall saying what I’d said — you’ll understand when you read my bit — it still manages to hold up. See, journalists? This is what you should strive for in any story, especially ones having to do with the iDollator community — being objective. It’ll work out quite well for you; trust me on this one.

So there you have it! Like I’d said, next month will have 2009’s last ‘Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat?’ post, which will be staggering in length, width, and girth, so keep an eye out for that…
Err, it looks like I’ve completed my post before my Doppelgänger’s completed his, which unfortunately means that he gets to brain me with my laptop. Hrrm. This… probably won’t end well

Sdtrk: ‘A beginning word’ by Roj

Whilst at work one day last week, I was thinking about all the films I wanted to see on the big screen this year that I unfortunately missed. It was a lengthy list — Moon, District 9, Let the right one in, Tony Manero, 9, Flame and Citron, Inglourious basterds, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I think I’ve forgotten one or two — which is odd, as it’s well-documented that I loathe Hollywood. However, the one film that I really wanted to catch, which I thankfully did last Friday, was ‘Surrogates‘, directed by Jonathan Mostow. Furthermore, I was able to bring Mari along with me, partially as revenge for her making me stare at that sloshing bucket of vomitus known as ‘Transformers 2’ some months ago. You counteract Bad with Good, as far as I’m concerned.

So what’d we think? It was a brisk 88 minutes in length: Mari enjoyed it, as did I, but for differing reasons. She liked the special effects and the explosions, whereas I dug the whole idea of the Surrogates’ technology. Insert ‘DURR HEY’ here. I’ll definitely buy the DVD when it’s available, but I do have to say two words that I regrettably end up using whenever reviewing any big-budget film that covers the topic of Synthetiks: Hollywood ending. Although, as the film is based on a graphic novel that I’ve never read, I’ve no idea how close the film’s ending, or the story overall, hews to the original comic. Funnily enough, Mari and I stopped round to a Borders after the film, so I could pick up the first volume of Karakuri Odette (as mentioned here), and at one point, I was idly glancing through a copy of the Surrogates trade paperback, and it didn’t occur to me to flip to the end. Tch!
Overall, ‘Surrogates’ was inoffensive to my technosexual sensibilities, Hollywood ending notwithstanding. The opening credits, which consist of a montage sequence which serves to fill the audience in about the world in which the film takes place, had a few nods and winks to iDollators and technosexuals, such as a couple of seconds of RealDoll faces from ‘Guys and Dolls’, as well as footage of Hiroshi Ishiguro and his Android twin, Geminoid. Naturally I’m gonna point this out: as it was rated PG-13, sadly there wasn’t a single topless Gynoid to be seen, as the film’s distributor was Walt Disney Pictures. Thanks for that, Disney, you wankers.

It’s okay…

But this isn’t a review of ‘Surrogates’! What I’d like to do instead is touch upon the sociological aspects of that kind of technology existing. The Suris, as they’re often referred to in the story, are incredibly detailed and slightly enhanced human representations that are 100% artificial; however, they have no AI of their own, as they are controlled by Organik operators. To use one, you sit in your special control seat, strap on a neurovisual headband thing, and control your Suri with your mind. Obviously, the whole point of a Surrogate is not just to be able to experience life without leaving the comfort of your chair, but to do so looking your best. Your Surrogate can be made to resemble a flawless version of yourself, of course, or you can purchase generic-looking models, or you can even use one with practically any look or gender that you may desire. (There’s actually a plot point with that in the film.) As far as I gathered in the film, whatever sensations that your Suri would feel would be ones that your meat body would also feel, with the exception of pain. They kinda didn’t get into that in detail, but from certain scenes, I figured that was the case.
Therefore, as they lack AI, Surrogates are not actually true Androids and Gynoids; instead, this would be an example of what’s known as telepresence, with teledildonics being its sexier cousin. I’d mentioned Hiroshi Ishiguro and Geminoid earlier; telepresence is what’s involved when Ishiguro-san uses Geminoid to teach his classes or make appearances whilst staying at home — Geminoid is Ishiguro-san’s proxy. In fact, if you’ve ever seen the anime series ‘Ghost in the shell’, or read the manga it’s based on, telepresence is everywhere in it, particularly in the ‘Man-machine Interface’ manga. And as you’d suspect, teledildonics operates essentially the same way, only centred round sexy time. VERY NICE I LIKE
Now, the thing that struck me about Surrogate use is they are, in essence, simply highly sophisticated telephones. Think about it: when you use a phone, you are speaking to another Organik through the use of a device, as they are with you. Instead on just hearing a voice through a phone, or even a voice and an image through a videophone, there is a physical presence before you that you’re interacting with. Well, that your Suri is interacting with, but you get the picture.

…she’s affictitious

One of the plot points of the film is that Surrogates are in incredibly prolific use by most of the globe’s population — they’re ubiquitous, you can’t get away from them. But, much like in real-life, there are some segments of society that are against technological advancements, and have established human-only ‘dread zones’. Naturally, there’s a plot point dealing with that as well. The people inhabiting the dread zones live wilfully-technology-free lifestyles, like pockets of Amish living in self-imposed cultural isolation in the cities, and have banned Surrogates from even passing through the zones’ gates.
The inhabitants there follow the tenets of a man calling himself the Prophet, a cult leader who exhorts his followers to reject Surrogates, based on the premise that continued use of that sort of technology will further dehumanise society. I mean, it’s all well and good if that’s the lifestyle you wish to lead, but that sort of blinkered anti-technological mindset shouldn’t be inflicted upon others. Should a person want to utilise Surrogate technology, they should be free to do so. Considering further, the dread reservations are rather like enclaves of bigotry. If instead of hand-painted signs reading HUMANS ONLY, what if that sign said WHITES ONLY? With the continuing advancement of real-life artificial human development, there’s a genuine fear, as JM of the blog Synthetically Yours and I have discussed, of Organik humans losing their precious monopoly on humanity, which is why a person such as The Prophet existed. Naturally, there’s a deeper plot point that explains him too, but ZOMG SPOILERS

Would I use a Surrogate? As I spend a great deal of time living in my stately manor located in the so-called Uncanny Valley, the answer should be as obvious as if you’d asked me ‘do you like money?’ or ‘do you like bunnies?’, really. To be able to use a better-looking, more physically enhanced Synthetik kagemusha of myself would obviously be ideal. Detractors would say that Suri use, or an artificial human such as an Android or Gynoid isn’t ‘real’, but I’ve always defined real as ‘anything that can be perceived with any of the senses’. Therefore, a Surrogate or a Synthetik is real, they’re just not Organik.* Of course, due to the nature of Surrogate usage, i.e, reclining in a seat for hours on end, there’d be a need to exercise my meat body periodically, so muscle atrophy wouldn’t take hold, which I’d personally say would be the only disadvantage I could see to the use of a Suri. Couldn’t I simply scoop my brain out of my skull and pop it into the Suri’s head? That’d be so much easier.
If that particular technology was made available tomorrow, for example, I’d say there’d be three schools of thought concerning them. You’d have people like me grinning from ear to ear — not necessarily technosexuals per se, but people who are enthralled with technology and gadgets, people who could see the aesthetic value in a Surrogate, lazy tossers, etc; there’d be those who would be initially apprehensive, but then grow accustomed to the concept and either eventually adopt it, or realise it’s not a threat to their lifestyle; which leaves those who would be gathering up cement blocks and rusty bits of corrugated metal to use as gates for their dread zones.

‘Would humans stand in line at the grocery store behind a robot? Would I let my children play outside if I knew there were robots outside walking dogs?’ asks writer and robotics expert Daniel Wilson in this article for CNN.com. They’re valid points, as they detail the mindset of the second and third schools of thought I’d mentioned. Humans naturally have a fear of the unknown, but when enough people see how beneficial and even fun a development such as Surrogates (in the fictional world) or Synthetiks (in the real world) can be, not only will they cease to be a mystery, but in time, people will wonder how they managed to get on without them.

Yum! Time to check online auction houses for ‘Surrogates’ props

So here’s a question to you, the stunned reader of ‘Shouting etc etc’: would you use a Surrogate if such a thing existed? Or would you prefer to remain with your current fleshy self? How do you think you’d react if you discovered someone you knew was using one? Answers to be turned in before the end of class, please

ta very much to both Wolfgang and Pat!, for sending me links for additional research

*Can you tell I’m trying to reclaim the word ‘real’? It’s a bit like how the word ‘love’ is wildly misused. You can say that you love someone, and you can also say that you love bacon sandwiches — the usage can get vague. Though one would hope to “Bob” that it’s not the same type of love for those particular examples (‘Th… that’s not mayonnaise!!’ Yes, I went there)

Technorati tags: Surrogates, Jonathan Mostow, Android, Gynoid, robot, Karakuri Odette, technosexual, iDollators, RealDolls, Hiroshi Ishiguro, Geminoid, telepresence, teledildonics, Ghost in the Shell, Daniel Wilson, bacon

Sdtrk: ‘Holvikirkko’ by Shogun Kunitoki

Last month, when Euchre and I got round to visit fellow iDollator Mahtek in order to meet his new Lover Girl Nina from KnightHorse — a fine lass, wouldn’t hear a word against her — at one point during the proceedings, I had to make a visit to the Little Astronauts Room. I could just overhear a conversation topic still going on in the livingroom; one which I’d considered many many times ever since becoming a Doll husband myself.
Unfortunately, by the time I emerged from the bog, the conversation had turned. In fact, it was several months later! Mahtek’s bathroom had flung me into the near-future with but the flush of a handle. It is a Magickal Bathroom.

What was the topic in question, you axe? ‘If your Doll was a Gynoid, what sort of qualities / abilities would you like her to have?’ My mind turned to an email I’d fired off to another iDollator colleague years ago, where I’d tackled that very idea:

A Gynoid version of Sidore-chan would be an efficient but somewhat renegade driver, a dab hand at Japanese cuisine, able to play every bass line from every Joy division and New order song in existence (well, New order up to their ‘Republic’ album, at any rate), good — but not TOO good — when playing Armored core head-to-head, be able to identify a Brummie, Scouse, or Geordie accent whilst being able to retain her own Manc speech pattern, be able to rattle off the name and model number of most of the Mobile suits that appeared in the Universal Century timeline of Gundam, be able to suppress the urge to change the Cd whenever I play any of my obscure yé-yé songs from the Sixties, recite Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘The Raven’ or Lewis Carroll’s ‘The Jabberwock’ from start to finish, and provide a deep and satisfying barefoot back massage. And then there’s the sex. 🙂

Also, and this is very important; her speaking voice must sound like that of actress Shirley Henderson playing Tony Wilson’s first wife, Lindsay, in the film ’24 hour party people’ (you’ll see her in this video, at the 1.46 mark). Really, I don’t ask for much

Sdtrk: ‘Tangier’ by Blues control

In a recent sifting through the World Wide Wet, looking for more Synthetiks-related crap to write about, I’d spotted this empathetic viewpoint on a site called Fantasy Book Critic; it’s an interview with author David Weber. To be honest, I didn’t read it in its entirety, but the section reprinted below caught my eye, for obvious reasons:

HRP-4C, in an introspective moment

I read somewhere that Japan recently unveiled the HRP-4C, a life-like female robot that can walk, talk, and smile. Do you foresee a time when robots will be so lifelike that we will have difficulty determining whether or not robotic beings have “souls?”

I don’t think it’s a question of how lifelike a robot is — that is, whether or not it’s a humanoid shape that walks, talks, and smiles. To me, as I think I indicated above, the thing that we call a “soul” really has nothing at all to do with appearances or anthropomorphic physical attributes. It has to do with recognition and the internalization of the concept of self and with that self’s recognition of responsibilities. Of its willingness — and ability — to make decisions for itself. To choose between alternatives on a basis other than an automated, pre-programmed decision tree.

In that respect, I think it’s entirely possible that we’ll ultimately see a time in which artificial intelligences, whether they happen to reside inside a “robot” or not, demonstrate what I would think of as a soul. At the same time, I strongly suspect that we’re going to find it’s more difficult to create that concept of self in a human-designed machine (whether it’s electronic or biological) than a lot of people have assumed over the years.

As far as machines with souls are concerned, I think one of the things that always drew me to Keith Laumer’s Bolos was that despite the fact that they’d been programmed and designed towards a specific end, as machines of war, they made choices. There can be no heroism, unless the possibility of cowardice exists. There can be no true virtue, unless the door is also open to self-centered egoism and corruption. There can be no true growth, unless we make decisions, abide by the consequences, and learn from experience.

I remember a conversation I had once with a man who had won the Navy Cross as a fighter pilot during World War II. He told me that he’d never considered himself a hero. Despite the fact that he was a multiple ace, he said, he really hadn’t understood the concept of heroism until he watched a 19-year-old seaman on his aircraft carrier charge into a roaring gasoline fire in dungarees and a T-shirt to pull a pilot and a rear gunner out of a blazing dive bomber with a full load of machine gun ammunition and a 2,000 pound bomb still strapped to its belly. That kid got the pilot out, at the expense of horrendous burns over half his own body, and he chose to do it. It wasn’t his job — he wasn’t even assigned to the flight deck division — but he decided that it was his responsibility.

I think the day will come when a machine intelligence — a genuine machine intelligence — will be capable of making that same sort of decision. And when that day comes, if it makes the equivalent of the decision that 19-year-old made, I think we’ll have no choice but to admit that that machine has a soul.
the rest of the article is here

I’ve never heard of the bloke before, but I rather like the way he thinks…
You’ve probably seen this already, as it made its way round the Series of Tubes during my Holiday from Blogging, but we have the first recorded instance (from 2008) of robots kissing. Onward and upward!

While at the IEEE-sponsored International Conference on Service and Interactive Robotics (SIRCon) 2009, IEEE Spectrum scored an interview with the developers of theatrical robots Thomas and Janet, who they claim are the first kissing humanoid robots.

The first kiss happened back on 27 December 2008, during a robotic performance of several scenes of Phantom of the Opera at National Taiwan University of Science and Technology (known as Taiwan Tech). Chyi-Yeu Lin, a mechanical engineering professor, directed the performance in front of a packed house of about 400. The overcrowded auditorium burst out in a resounding cheer when Christine (played by Janet) and the Phantom (played by Thomas) kissed.
the rest of the article is here

Granted yes; I realise that they look awkward — the movements are still somewhat stilted — but as I always say in these situations, you don’t start out with the finished product. The developers will continue to work on them, and Synthetiks will become better, both in movements and appearance. Of course, once they get them to move like Organiks, as well as look like modern high-end ‘love dolls’, then the world will be a better place. Fact.

One more brief related thang: recently, I’ve made the acquaintance of a rather fab individual by the name of JM, who runs a blog called Synthetically Yours. As he describes himself as ‘someone who is both intrigued by and sympathetic to iDollatry’, his posts mainly feature a clinical-yet-humourous look at various aspects of being an iDollator, and it’s a site definitely worth checking out. Go ye forth, and peer at it.

And as a coda, here’s an amusing result from my site stats, from back in August. I present it without comment, as anything I could possibly add might well incriminate me

Sdtrk: ‘Cet air là’ by France Gall

This is another reason why I ended my recent Holiday from Blogging a couple of days early — news concerning the World of Synthetik Companions is fast and ever-flowing, like a… high-pressure fire hose. Yeah, that’s it! No, that’s not it.

+ KnightHorse have been busy developing raw affictitious sexiness. For only $2500 USD plus shipping, those ‘leg people’ amongst you can now make their dreams come true with their newest product, Lovable Legs. And really, why wouldn’t you?

She’s half-off, har har har

Here are the full measurements on the Lovable Legs (and therefore also the legs of the body 1 and 2 Lovable Dolls):
Total length of piece: 42″ from top of torso to the heel
Inseam (inside leg measurement from groin to ankle): 28″
Thigh at widest point: 18″
Waist: 22″
Hip: 30″
Buttocks at fullest point: 36.5″
Shoe size: 7 for open toe shoes, 8 for closed toe shoes and boots
Weight: 43lb

I bet the rest of her is concealed by the back of the loveseat

For convenience, they come with an eyebolt and a carabiner for hanging. I approve! Now, all KnightHorse need to do is create Lovable Dolls that are just the Doll from the waist up, so over-enthusiastic customers can re-enact that one scene from the film ‘Beetlejuice’. You know which one I’m talking about.
They’re exactly like the Lovable Feet, but, well, with more behind it, pun intended. As a matter of fact, keep watching ‘Shouting etc etc’, as I might well be able to tell you more about their Lovable Feet rather soon…

Not only that, they’ve finalised two new heads: Ally (left), and Sayuri.

Ally’s sculpt is based off one of Hiroo’s (head of 4woods) favourite models, and the Sayuri head is inspired by ideas from an iDollator. Very impressive!

Finally, KnightHorse are negotiating with various adult film stars, to make licenced Synthetik versions of them. Further news is pending, but when they know, I’ll know, and when I’ll know, you’ll know, and when you’ll know, your pets will know. Is that how it works? I don’t know.

+ Speaking on the topic of Gynoids momentarily, the site Plastic Pals mentions that one of KiTECH’s EveR-series lasses has taken after HRP-4C, and made her debut, walking down the runway in a fashion show. But not really.

‘They’re really big rollerblades! SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE’

Korean Android gets to “walk” the runway, too

South Korea’s Yongsan National Museum had a fashion show this Saturday, August 29th 2009 – that featured a robot model posing on the catwalk in designer Lee Young’s latest threads.

Though this move mirrors the recent appearance of the Japanese android HRP-4C appearing in a fashion show and later in a wedding dress, EVE (the android developed by KITECH) doesn’t actually walk as it is not a biped. The dress hides the robot’s wheeled base.
the rest of the article is here

On the one hand, you have to say ‘well, she’s moving, so that counts for something,’ but on the other hand, that’s a wee bit deceptive, KiTECH. It’d be more honest for them to simply admit that their Gynoid doesn’t walk, but I’m sure once they saw the initial footage of HRP-4C making her sexy mechanical way in front of the cameras, they probably felt the need to step up their game. After all, Baeg Moon-hong did promise that EveR-4 would be a walking model. I am holding you to that promise, sir.

+ Speaking of that EveR-3 lass, remember how I’d briefly mentioned in July’s post how she was performing in a play? Apparently back in May of this year, Swiss director Christian Denisart teamed up with Swiss robotics group Bluebotics SA, and put together a play unexpectedly entitled ‘Robots’. Yes, in Switzerland. Now were there actual robots involved? Of course there were!

Shame she doesn’t resemble EveR-3. But I like his dress sense

Robots steal the musical show
swissinfo.ch | May 6, 2009 – 10:56 AM

They could be accused of giving somewhat mechanical performances, but this was the first time Igor, Leila and Bruno had trodden the boards – and they are robots.

The three high-tech actors are currently starring alongside two human thespians in the world premiere of “Robots”, a musical which mixes drama, humour and science.

An eerie sound echoes above the audience from the lungs of the world’s biggest cinema organ. The curtain opens and a flickering candle glides into the 19th-century-style living room, carried by Igor, a metallic butler, accompanied by Bruno, a state-of-the-art robotic dog.

The two humble servants prepare to wake their master, a man (actor Branch Worsham) who lives in self-imposed exile with his automatic friends. They announce the imminent visit of a woman (Laurence Iseli) who will turn his passionless, controlled world upside down, forcing him to choose between the new intruder and her robotic double, Leila.
the rest of the article is here

To be honest, the plot sounds a wee bit trite — ‘Cherry 2000’, anyone? — but once again, I completely support the idea of utilising robots as actors, as it’ll be simply another method of assimilating artificial beings into society. Frankly, once it gets to the point where robots, Androids, and Gynoids are actors in plays and films that I personally can’t stand — such as anything by Michael Bay, for example — that’ll be a turning point. Because among other things, that will mean that having them as cast members will no longer be a novelty or gimmick, and the general public will have grown used to the idea.
If you’re further interested, there’s a site called Robots Forum, where a podcast was made from an interview with Mr Denisart and Nicolas Tomatis from Bluebotics SA, that you can download from right here.

+ Summertime is a rather big deal for the Japanese. Traditionally, they hold festivals, light fireworks, and set things on fire in general. In that vein, Orient industry have done a set of photos as yukata matsuri (kimono festival) postcards, bearing the images of some of their lovely CandyGirls wearing light, gaily-coloured summer yukata. Nice!

Mizuki, of the Real Love Doll Ange line, thinking about arson

Not only are they artfully done, they’re even safe for work! Print up a couple, and tell your coworkers that they’re models you happen to know.
In the interest of full disclosure, they were originally available as downloadable .pdf files, but only from 07 – 31 August. Sorry! I was away, what do you want??

+ And according to the News section of Orient industry’s site, it appears there is a film due out from Japan, entitled ‘Love Doll‘. It’ll be out on 10 October, and the DVD release is on 20th November, a week after my birthday. Hint, hint. The English section, as of this writing, isn’t online yet, but it doesn’t look too bad. Scenes of Dutch wives in contemporary Japanese settings? You have captured my interest. What will you do with it?

Looks bleak back there. Did she take a bus to Seventies-era Manchester?

It looks like a video collection of still shots, from the look of things, but nevertheless, as I’m a collector of this sort of thing (I prefer the term ‘archivist’), it’s a must-buy regardless…

Well now! The Autumnal Equinox has just ticked over, and we should be all caught up on the World of Synthetik Companions, right? Far from it, my friend. Far from it.
*cue ominous music*

Technorati tags: KnightHorse, Lovable Dolls, 4woods, iDollators, KiTECH, EveR-3, HRP-4C, National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology, AIST, Baeg Moon-hong, Christian Denisart, Bluebotics SA, Android, Gynoid, robot, Orient Industry, CandyGirl

Sdtrk: ‘Falling for you’ by The Soundcarriers

Ah, good! It’s nice to be back, and nicer still to see that you lot haven’t set the place ablaze in my absence! Although I see our liquor cabinet’s been broken into, and all our absinthe is gone. That figures.

So what have I been doing during my Official Excuse for Not Writing Period? Well, attempting to take it easy, really. I caught up on a few Emails, which may not sound like anything significant, but anyone that knows me knows that my missives tends toward freight trains of paragraphs, with periodic months in between responses, so it was nice to polish some of those off and get them to their intended recipients. After having to reintroduce myself, that is. No, seriously. ‘Hi, remember me? You wrote me last year, and now I’m writing you back?’ *shaking head* Man.

Also, I contracted pleurisy! Which is a heresy. I got it from Morrissey! Alright, I’m done. But yes, I did indeed get it, which is frankly ridiculous, as far as I’m concerned. I mean, how Dickensian can you get? Although I did know two people that once contracted shingles, and one of my best friend’s past landlords apparently came down with gangrene, so I’m merely contributing to the Revival of Olde-Tyme Ailments and Maladies. Much to my chagrin.
The upper part of my lungs were somewhat sore for over a week, so I went in to my doctor’s office to be seen to. Unfortunately, my doctor was on holiday, the tosser, so I was shunted over to the other doctor that shares his office, whose curt manner left a little to be desired. She called for bloodwork, chest X-rays, and an EEG, which is the most activity I’ve ever experienced at my GP’s office — usually it’s just ‘stand on this scale, roll up your sleeve, breathe in, breathe out, here’s a script, GET OUT’. She did, however, prescribe me some Zithromax, and gave me an inhaler to use. Weeks later, I’m still making use of those, as I’m still fighting this sumbitch. Ergh.
Pleurisy, if you’re not familiar with it, in which case you should be grateful, is ‘an inflammation of the pleura, which is the moist, double-layered membrane that surrounds the lungs and lines the rib cage,‘ as WebMD says. It’s usually caused by bacterial infection. Of course, that has me wondering where and how the hell I got infected, as I’m one of the neatest freaks in Christendom. In lieu of a definitive answer, I shall blame my workplace, as it’s never brought me anything good.

Actually, no, I take that back; work has brought me exactly one good thing! Well, ish. Since there’s now a ban on bringing in books — I refuse to comment on that, cos you already know what my answer would be — they gave out company-branded notebooks made from recycled paper. Each one came complete with a pen, and a cloth loop to hold said pen, which was actually kinda cool. As I’ve been arbitrarily herded over to a different section, I’m surrounded by coworkers that I’ve never seen before, which means they’ve never seen me before. I tend to hide and keep to myself when I’m there, if you can believe that. But on two separate occasions, I’ve had coworkers, upon viewing me scribbling in my company-approved notebook, ask me if I was writing poetry. Poetry? Also, there was one lass who’d asked me if I was writing raps. Raps‽ Do I look like a rappist??* Well, I suppose if that’s the only reference point for music that you possess… no, wait, that still doesn’t make any damned sense!
So since there’s a ban on reading, and a ban on using cellphones, I spend my workdays writing posts or letters, and being made aware of two things:
1) Paper slows me down, and
2) My handwriting is a collision of indecipherable glyphs. Huh.
*tears out sheet, wads it up*

Apparently, BBC America aired ‘Love me, love my Doll’ again on the 22nd of August. I recall that evening I was poking round my blog’s Dashboard and checking its stats, as per usual, when I’d noticed that at one point, there were like ten people looking at ‘Shouting etc etc’ simultaneously! As I’m always the last to know whenever the BBC America programme directors decide to trot that documentary out again, I was wondering what forum / site was linking to me and making disparaging comments and snide remarks this time. It was all good, as the kids say, though. It’ll just be nice once the National Geographic documentary airs, as it won’t be so… dated. And no, I don’t have a date for it yet; I could tell you were getting ready to ask.
Coincidentally enough, I was spotted, thanks to ‘Love me, love my Doll’, at one of the stores I frequent! As I was making my purchases, some random lass stopped me and said I looked familiar.
SOME LASS: ‘Were you on television?’
ME: ‘Perhaps I was!’
SOME LASS: ‘Yeah, you were on that documentary with the Dolls, weren’t you! I thought you looked familiar!’
ME: ‘Yeah, that was me. My partner and I have been together for about nine years.’
SOME LASS: ‘That was really… interesting. How much do they cost, $10,000?’
CLERK: ‘You were on TV? What kind of show was it?’
ME: ‘Noooo, they’re only about $7000! (to clerk) It was a show about artificial humans.’
CLERK (takes my wrist, squeezes it): ‘Are you real?’
followed by hearty chuckling from all parties involved. You’ll note how I didn’t answer the clerk’s question, though. *winks*

Finally, if you cast your gaze to the lefthand sidebar, just below that ‘Today’s Kanji’ widget that remains largely ignored, you’ll spot a new addition to that particular area: my Amazon.com wish list. It’s rather large; you can’t miss it. Compiled over the course of seven years of wishful thinking, it’s a great way to click on and shop for things that interest me that might well interest you. It’s also a great way to discover what I’d like for a gift, and to buy it for me! Cos really, when it comes down to it, I ain’t too proud to beg.

And that brings us, roughly, up to now. Expect more posts soon!
So how are you, then?

*I don’t call them ‘rappers’, I call them ‘rappists’, as rap rapes my ears. I’m fairly certain you’ll agree

Sdtrk: ‘All saints’ by David Bowie

As hinted at in the Prelude, this month’s edition can honestly be referred to as JUMBO-SIZED!!

+ This just occurred yesterday, so unfortunately, there isn’t a surfeit of details as of yet, but remember our lovely Gynoid HRP-4C? She apparently lined up another modeling gig, this time making her way down the catwalk at the 2009 Yumi Katsura Paris Grand Collection in Osaka.

She’s just proving that a Gynoid would make someone a fine bride

Naturally, I’d want to see her in less — technically, we’ve all seen her in less, that’s her natural state of being — but after viewing the video, I thought the bridal gown was actually quite impressive, and you will, too.

More details as I hear of them! One detail that I have to confirm is that several news sources are reporting her name as being ‘Miim’ now. Err, that’s something that needs to be looked into. After all, when Holon-chan first hit the scene, a few sites were saying that her name was Phorene…

+ Orient industry has changed their layout (again)! And they’ve retconned their model types! Again! O gods, this shit’s ridiculously confusing, and it’s doing my head in.
Right, they’ve gotten rid of the separate model lines for the CandyGirl Jewel Diva and the CandyGirl Jewel Rosa; both of those types are now listed under either CandyGirl Love Doll Rosa, or CandyGirl Real Love Doll Ange. As a result, they’ve stopped production on the Jewel Diva models known as Lisa, Mao, Miki, and Ran. Which is a real shame, as Mao-chan was a gorgeous lass. In addition, they’ve added a new line, known as Love Doll Separate, which means that you can now have a custom-made CandyGirl with detachable head and limbs, for easy storage and transport. Which is double-confusing, as that’s pretty much what all CandyGirls were up until a few years ago, when they began making certain model lines out of silicone, instead of the sofubi (short for soft vinyl, aka PVC) that they were made out of previously. And now it’s a distinct model line? For no discernible reason??
They’ve also added two new heads — the sexed-up Jun and the mature Yoko — which can be used with used with the Rosa or Separate lines. Consolation prizes for your patience?

OI! Stop writhing around and close those doors, you’re letting the heat out

‘Sounds like Jun-chan’s in the other room, letting the heat out’

Quality products aside, Orient industry retcons their product lines so much, I’m sure working there is hallucinatory. Imagine being employed at an auto company — say, Subaru, for example — and you’ve been working there for around two years, helping assemble the popular 360 and 1000 models; which, I should add, are two totally different looking vehicles. One day, the company heads announce that not only will you be making 1000s under the new name 360, but the original 360s will no longer be made. In addition, you’ll be building these cars out of silicone. It makes no sense, frankly.
At any rate, the previous links for those model lines found on ‘Shouting etc etc’ are all redundant, but they’ll at least take you to the main site proper. I can’t be arsed with swapping them out for the new ones, cos who’s to say they won’t change again in a couple of months?

+ Phoenix Studios has finally released Miss Spring, of the Boy Toy Seasons line! For a while, I was starting to think they forgot about her, what with it now being summertime and all.

It stands to reason that spring is the wettest season

She has a MILFy quality about her that’s definitely enticing, wouldn’t you agree? When you couple that with her stunning rubbery qualities, that’s a deadly combination…

+ Here’s the definition of ‘slipped past the keeper’: apparently in April, South Korea’s KiTECH finally debuted EveR-3 at the Hannover Messe industrial exposition. Of course, 90% of the info that I can locate about her is in Korean — oddly enough, Robot Watch, my go-to source for additional news about Japanese and Asian robotics, didn’t make a single mention of her — but I was able to find some pics, as well as this video:

Despite the fact that they had her singing awful K-pop like her older sister, her movements seem more fluid and natural than… well, her older sisters. Plus, this version’s face seems softer, and more appealing.

‘Man, I feel like I’m in a cone when I’m wearing this thing’

As she’s representing Korea, she’s wearing a hanbok, which is one of those incredibly high-waisted traditional dresses. Not exactly flattering, but tradition trumps style in this case. It looks as if she’s incapable of walking, or even moving a single leg, much like Actroid DER3 can, so perhaps that’s why KiTECH hasn’t exactly gone global with the news of her existence.
Further ‘investigation’ shows that she was acting and singing in a play back in February! Don’t ask me what it’s about, as my hangul kung-fu is pig dung.

+ A couple of Saturdays ago, Zip Gun tipped me off to a pair of upcoming Gynoid-related series due out later this year: Karakuri Odette, which is a six-volume manga series by Julietta Suzuki, and Fallout Toyworks, which will be a five-issue comic series by Brett Lewis and Sam Basri. According to Tokyopop, who happen to be the American distributors of Karakuri Odette, it’ll debut on 01 Oct, which will obviously be something to mark on your calendars. Its synopsis?

What does it mean to be truly human?…Odette is a lovely android built by Professor Yoshizawa. Curious to find out what it’s like to be human, she convinces the Professor to enroll her in high school. And thus, with a new group of friends in tow, Odette sets out to discover the true meaning of life as a human, where even the simple stuff is an adventure! A touching slice-of-life comedy, Karakuri Odette does nothing If not uncover the incredible possibilities of the “human” spirit!

And anyone who knows me knows that I loathe the so-called musical style knowns as ’emo’, and it appears that Fallout Toyworks is inspired by the ideas and music of Fall out boy, specifically a song entitled ‘Tiffany Blews’, but as it’s about a Gynoid, I suppose I can overlook that fact. According to the press release, the serial

tells the story of a brilliant young robot maker who risks his entire company for his factory’s newly produced android named Tiffany as she becomes his greatest passion and potentially his own destruction.
taken from this site

As long as I don’t have to listen to any whiny emo caterwaulings, it sounds like something entirely worthwhile! Image Comics will be releasing Fallout Toyworks’s first issue on 02 September, and you can check the website-in-progress here.

+ The folks o’er at Private Island Beauties are coming out with three alluring new faces for their Bathing Beauty body type: Desirae, Fujiko (a Japanese lass), and Gaia (an African-American lass). They’ll be joining the yummy ranks of Angelique, Bella, Calli, and Eden. Gotta love how all the faces they’re developing have names in alphabetical order. Nineteen to go, lads! Get sculpting!

Eden (left), tasting Desirae

I’d show more pictures of the other new girls, but the one above is one of the few on the site where the Dolls don’t have one or both of their loverly jubbleys out. Under normal circumstances, I obviously wouldn’t be complaining, but this is a family blog. Feel free to check their site for more information, though. And pics, if you’re into that sort of thing.

+ Whilst there was a lull in the filming of our segment for the National Geographic documentary, director J.Siberry asked me if I’d seen the monograph of RealDolls wearing Dolce & Gabbana fashion accoutrements. No, was my frantic reply, followed by OMGWHAT’SITCALLEDWHERECANIBUYITHOWMUCHISIT. After the other members of the film crew forcibly pried me off of him, I learned more about it, through the Series of Tubes.

Sexiest marionette show EVAR

Dolce & Gabbana have released a book of photographs that highlight the art of embroidery called Diamonds and Pearls. […] One of the really interesting facets of the book is that the pieces are modeled by “real dolls,” rather than human models to create a “timeless” beauty. […] The photographs were taken by Guenter Parth and features shots in nature, as well as the studio.
taken from this site

Now I can recall back maybe about three or so years ago, ‘Still Lovers‘ photographer Elena Dorfman had mentioned that Abyss creations was tentatively working on a high-fashion haute couture shoot, but I’d heard nothing about it since then, and simply thought the project fell by the wayside. I guess it didn’t!
I don’t know what’s sadder though: the fact that the book’s suggested retail price is $270 USD, or despite that fact, I’m still saving up for a copy. Hrrm. And hey, Amazon.com? You are not helping.

Sometimes it’s hard to choose the right face to go with your ensemble

+ Personally, I’ve never been a huge fan of online comic xkcd, as it’s too mathy, but it’s easy to see why I included this one strip:

+ Finally, thanks to a tip from good friend and Gynoid-in-training Alice Keenan, we now have a bit more of a peek at the film that I’d mentioned in last month’s ‘Doll-related news’ post, ‘Kuuki Ningyo’. Here’s the trailer:

If she wasn’t inflatable, I’d swear that she was an Erie Doll…
Looks winsome! And to satisfy your curiosity, Kat, you can peek at five additional clips from the fillum right here. I only watched one, as I didn’t want to spoil myself, but you lot can knock yourselves out!

Happy 23rd! ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’: where affictitious is synonomous with delicious