Sdtrk: ‘(Keep feeling) Fascination’ by the Human League

Barely relevant: I recently dreamt that I was back at my old highschool for some reason or other, and I was trying to find the auditorium where the arts & theatre classes were usually held. Unfortunately, since the last time I wandered down those corridors, they’d shuffled a couple of rooms around the campus. So I found myself running down the halls, pinwheeling my arms, frantically searching for the arts department.
Let that be a lesson to you.

While I was doing that, alert reader Kat spotted this in the news:

If there’s a male in a dress, it must be Kids in the Hall

Actor robots take Japanese stage
BBC News | Published: 2008/11/26 11:26:22 GMT

First there were dancing robots, then house-sitting robots and now a new breed of acting robots is making its big debut on the Japanese stage.

The play, which had its premiere at Osaka University, is one of Japan’s first robot-human theatre productions.

The machines were specially programmed to speak lines with human actors and move around the stage with them.

Playwright Oriza Hirata says the work raises questions about the relationship between humanity and technology.
the rest of the article is here

There’s actually video excerpts from the play on Robot Watch (under some pictures, you’ll see characters that read ‘動画’; you’ll want to click on the characters).
It should go without saying that I’m looking forward to a day when Androids and Gynoids will be utilised as actors. In fact, I think there’d be a lovely irony in having a bunch of Synthetiks play in a stage production of Karel Čapek’s ‘Rossum’s Universal Robots‘ — only have them play all the non-robot roles, and have the Organik cast members portray the robots…

O, and twenty Cool Points will be immediately shipped, in a refrigerated container, to the person who can tell me where this post’s title comes from. If you need another hint, you’ll just have to listen carefully to the radio in the next vehicle you carjack

Technorati tags: robots, Wakamaru, Robot Watch, Karel Čapek, Rossum’s Universal Robots

Sdtrk: something from the ‘Space channel 5 Part 2 “Uki uki” Non-stop Megamix’ soundtrack

Heh; dreamt last night that a company had assembled a very lifelike and rather convincing Sarah Palin Gynoid. The technicians were stretching her silicone face onto her skull, and she had that glassy-eyed look that we all remember so well, and I was like, ‘yep, she looks just like the original’. My hope would be that the Gynoid version would be working for good, not evil, much like a reverse version of ‘Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla’.

This will undoubtedly be the last post on ‘Shouting etc etc’ *crowd cheers* until 2009 *crowd boos*, so I have to play to type and mention something about Synthetiks. As previously mentioned, Kokoro Co. Ltd. were finally prepping their latest Gynoid, Actroid DER3, for her debut; which, strangely enough, was in Thailand.

From that video, you can see that her body and facial movements are even more fluid than her predecessors — there’s probably more servos inside of her — but the one thing that really stood out is that she can actually move one of her legs now. When she’s singing that awful T-pop song and dancing towards the latter half of the footage, she’s shimmying a bit, as unlike her older sisters, she’s not bolted to the floor through both legs, which is obviously an improvement. One down, one to go!
There’s also a video you can grab from Kokoro’s site; the editing’s a bit rubbish, but it’s still worth viewing.

So when are we going to see all the mechanical progeny of Prof.Ishiguro gathered together? Simroid, Geminoid, the live-action Holon, Ando-san, all of the Actroids that were at the 2005 Aichi World Expo… even Repliee R1, the Gynoid version of Prof.Ishiguro’s daughter that, despite my dislike for the adjective ‘creepy’ in the context of artificial humans, even I have to concede that point towards her. But yeah, get them all together in one room, and I can’t conceive of a better opportunity for a family portrait…

And finally, I nearly forgot to add I got a wee mention and a link in a pro-RealDoll article on the site ‘Open Your Heart To The Love‘. I’m referred to as ‘the leading authority’ on Synthetik companions. Flattery will get you everywhere. 🙂

Until then, Sidore and I wish you a Happy 2009, and we’ll see you lot next year! Which is later this week. Nevertheless!

Sdtrk: ‘Heart and soul’ by Joy division

Our top stories this month *cue sfx of either morse code or typewriters*:

+ Abyss Creations have got a new news section on their website, entitled ‘The Doll Street Journal’, wherein they post notices of discounted RealDolls for sale, or various deals on offer, or clearance items, etc etc. Plus, they have a Doll of the Month feature, where a silicone lass at the factory details a few things about herself (it reminds me a bit of seeing adverts for cats and dogs up for adoption). This month’s instalment is the second one out, so catch yourself up on the News page of the site…

+ Orient industry has finally released a number of photos of two of their sexy new Real Love Doll Ange girls; the Sora-type, and the Rie-type.

Sora-chan, after being told her sushi came from that fish tank behind her

While we’re hoping that the company will post pics of the other four models of Dolls in that line relatively soon, you can hit up ‘Ta-bo’s Kisekae Dataroom’ in the interim, and check out his photo-reports taken in Orient industry’s Tokyo showroom.

Rie-chan thought sitting in front of her seating made her
look more ‘artsy’. Actually, it just made her look drunk

Personally, whenever Ta-bo-san does those reports, I always get the impression that he’s window-shopping for yet another addition to his staggering collection as he does so. Which is more than likely the case…

+ 4woods is back to work! As if they’d ever stopped. Not only have they unveiled a cute new head, Kurumi, for the A.I.Peach line, but they’ve also developed an alluring new body type as well, known as the A.I.Doll Evolution.

If Doctor Who’s Dodo Chaplet was turned into a Doll and joined Morning
musume, this is what she would look like

Like Kate Moss, but much less expensive

Now, as the seductive Mia has a definite Caucasian facial styling, it could be argued that 4woods is aiming for the non-Japanese market, much like Cindy and Maria of Axis Japan‘s Honey Dolls line. Well, there’s a reason for that, which I’m leading up to; don’t rush me.

Personally, Kurumi’s only okay in my book — she looks a bit too… chirpy. But as you’re aware, two exact same models of Doll can look radically different, depending on hair, makeup, lighting, photography, overall personality, etc. For instance, the Missus and her nymphomaniac cousin Charlie Joanne are both Body 2, Face 4 RealDolls, but the difference is like night and day. Which is entirely appropriate, if you think about it. Maybe when I see some owner pics of Kurumi, I’ll change my tune.
Mia, on the other hand, gets my full Seal of Approval. The A.I.Evolution is apparently the culmination of seven years of 4woods Doll developments (has it really been seven years??); she’s 5’4″, weighs 71 lbs, and her measurements are 35.25.37. Huh! ‘The wider spread of legs, better touch/feeling while being intimate, attention to small detail on each body part, an existence you can almost feel her breath… You can find these characteristics in our evolved A.I doll,’ boasts the site, and I’m certainly willing to believe that.

+ Back in November — on my birthday, coincidentally enough — KnightHorse, Matt Krivicke & Bronwen Keller’s new company, opened its virtual doors. Introducing: Lovable Dolls. Or Loveable Dolls; I’m not sure which spelling they’ll end up with.

Comes shipped with romantic ambience; candle and pillows sold separately

Ripped from the pages of a popular forum that handles this sort of thing:

Yvette shown here is 5’3″ tall, her measurements are 32A-22-30 and she wears a size 7 shoe. She weighs approximately 65lb. She has a removable head designed with a system that allows you to easily change her eye color and position the eyes without damaging the eyelashes. We use beautiful handmade eyes in each doll. The eyes are available in 9 gorgeous colors that reflect light in a beautifully realistic way. She is available in 7 different skin tones ranging from very fair to very dark, and she is made of premium grade platinum silicone. You will be able to order Yvette with all the options offered by the other high end doll companies, plus a few extra.

Yvette can be purchased with built in entries or with a removable insert. She is fully posable and jointed. We have been very fortunate to establish an exciting partnership with 4Woods of Japan; we are using a skeleton based on their design, and we will be their USA affiliate for people who would like to purchase 4Woods dolls. We will also be offering maintenance services for 4Woods within the USA. They, in turn, will be marketing our dolls in Japan.

Our base price for Yvette is $5,500 + shipping. […] We hope you love her as much as we do!

Best wishes,
Matt Krivicke

No snappy caption here; too busy drooling over Dollfeet

From the pics I’ve seen of Yvette (the company plans on releasing additional models over time), she’s scarily realistic. And I mean that in the best possible context!
If her particulars aren’t enticing enough, Matt K & Bronwen also state on the site’s FAQ that not only are they willing to repair any of their Dolls at their aptly-named Doll Hospital should they require repair, but they say they can give a go at repairing other manufacturer’s Dolls as well, which is a boon since Slade, the RealDoll Doctor, is no longer practising. I’ve gotta say, that’s a hell of a standard that they’ll be establishing for all Doll makers. KnightHorse’s gorgeous lasses will definitely be something to keep an eye on in the next coming months…

And it looks as if Japanese audiences will finally be getting the chance to enjoy ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ later this month! Wonder why that took so long?

That’s the least-withdrawn Lars has ever looked

There’s a couple of pics in the News section of Bianca — well, a Bianca; everyone knows there’s more than one — taking in the sights of Tokyo, which is rather charming.

She’s not big enough of a star to warrant a limousine, apparently

What with Japan being a nation that is not as averse to the concept of either passive or active Synthetiks, one wonders what the overall reaction will be to this film? Do let us know, Japan!

And there you have December!
‘Shouting to hear the echoes’. More Doll news than you can physically handle, so we suggest employing some sort of large container to prevent spillage

Technorati tags: Abyss Creations, RealDolls, Orient Industry, CandyGirl, 4woods, A.I.Dolls, Axis Japan, Honey Dolls, Charlie Joanne, KnightHorse, Lovable Dolls, Lars and the Real Girl, ラースと、その彼女, リアルドール

Sdtrk: ‘Blister’ by Venetian snares

So going from the results of our recent poll, it appears our little toy robot cat finally has a name — you can call him Shironeko.

See how ecstatic he looks? That’s the picture of glee right there

It was a landslide; as of 12.40am Monday morning, that particular name choice garnered twenty votes, versus the ten that Mecha-Moggy 5000 received. I suspect that Shi-chan might have called in some favours from other Dolls…

Our friend Neo did have a point, though, when he remarked ‘I really think the lady of the house gets first dibs as she has to house-sit the cat!’ Yeah yeah, buddy, you and your ‘logic’. *waves hand dismissively*

Thanks very much for your participation! We’re all winners?

Sdtrk: ‘The November men’ by Death in June

Greetings, new readers who’ve arrived at ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’, due to the link provided by Korea Beat! For the record, that post that sent you here? It’s riddled with errors. Riddled. This is what occurs when you use a blender to edit your articles. Let’s go over the highlights with a red pen, shall we?

The Real Dolls, made of a material similar to silicone, really look and feel just like a real person. And at 40 to 50 kilograms they even weigh as much as a woman. They can wear makeup and the more expensive ones can even eat.

Y’know, if I could get Sidore to cook for the pair of us, that would save so much time. Maybe she never learned how cos I never taught her, durr hey?

It is becoming increasingly easy to find men overseas with similar stories. 34-year old Dave of Detroit, in the United States, keeps a blog about his daily life with his Real Doll. They take walks together, eat together, and share secrets in bed just like a real married couple.

I can just see us attempting to do that. Either I’m blithely dragging her along by one arm, or hoisting her onto my back for a ride, and killing the pair of us.
And for the record, that’s Davecat, not Dave. Davecat, Esq. Well, maybe not esquire, but I’m working on it.

Here, the article’s broken up by a couple of pics of Synthetiks who are clearly CandyGirls, and not RealDolls. Another mark for lack of research!

He confessed his feelings about loneliness and the Real Doll. “I was always alone ever since I was a child. I think it was because of my appearance…”

Initially, people could handle my two sets of horns and prehensile tail, but then one Summer, I developed a row of glistening black eyeballs across my forehead. For some bizarre reason, that put people off!

“Suzi (the name of his Real Doll) is the first woman I had sex with and she does everything I want…”

Suzi? SUZI?? How the hell did they parse Sidore into Suzi? Did they just stop translating at the first letter and randomly select a female name that also starts with ‘S’?
And unfortunately Shi-chan (the first Synthetik woman I had sex with, just so you know) doesn’t do everything. She’s categorically refused to allow me to use her as a table or a chair, in the style of Allen Jones, for example.

“my mother, who is deceased, really wanted me to meet a girl but I think she understood that with the doll I’m not so lonely.”

Actually, unless Korea knows something I don’t, mum is above ground, and doing quite well. I spoke with her yesterday, as a matter of fact. No ouija board or scrying-glass was needed!
Also, they may be confusing (or just fusing) me with Everard, whose mother has in fact passed, and has said things to this effect in ‘Guys and Dolls / Love me, love my Doll’.

Men who only date their Real Dolls are mostly people who trouble fitting in to society. Because of their appearance or sexual experiences they live at home, with few friends, let alone a girlfriend, and purchase a Real Doll to solve those problems and have it them be their friends and lovers. On Dave’s blog he once wrote, “our conversations are one-way but even so I feel thankful to her.”

*facepalms* Where do I even begin with this paragraph?? It’s 95% bullshit!
For one, I think that once you have a Doll, you’re not really dating her — you’ve pretty much skipped that whole process entirely.
My favourite bit out of that cavalcade of conjecture though, is that quote I ‘wrote’. Take a moment to plug that phrase into the Search engine of ‘Shouting etc etc’, and see if you can find it. Go on, I’ll wait.
Did you find it? Heh, neither did I.

And the final paragraph,

Many people are unable to understand how they can treat a doll as their girlfriend. But the only way for them not to be that way is for us to understand them. When we understand their feelings there will no longer be dolls in their beds.

Ahh, but what if a person wants a Doll in their bed? Or did I just blow your mind??
A good spur-of-the-moment analogy would be that some people enjoy Coke, and some people like Pepsi. And then, there are those of us who love Dr pepper. There’s not a thing wrong with Dr pepper; it’s simply another type of beverage…

Anyway, you can find the undissected work of fiction-disguised-as-fact here. It’s left me more amused than angry, if nothing else, but there’s so much mistranslation/appropriation/fanciful bollocks that I’m left wondering if this article came from North Korea, and not the southern half. As we all know, North Korea has their own, shall we say, unique, take on reality

Sdtrk: ‘Get closer’ by Valerie Dore

It must be Winter (not officially, as the Winter Solstice hasn’t taken place, but nevertheless), as I’m currently losing my voice and fighting a flu with my bare hands. In between extended seven-hour naps, however, I managed to nominate the original version of Actroid, ReplieeQ1-san, to Carnegie Mellon’s Robot Hall of Fame.

A vote for Actroid is a vote for a Sexy Future

It seems that they hold induction ceremonies every two years, and I’d missed the one for this year. The nominees can include both real and fictional robots, such as Osamu Tezuka’s titular Astro Boy (inducted 2004), and Sony’s late-lamented AIBO (added 2006).

Here’s hoping that a) they choose to nominate Actroid-san, and b) the people will do the right thing and vote her in. Actroid in 2010!

Technorati tags: Carnegie Mellon, Robot Hall of Fame, Osamu Tezuka, Astro Boy, AIBO, Actroid, ReplieeQ1, Android, Gynoid, robots

Sdtrk: ‘Thieves like us’ by New order

Last year, Burger King offered store-only versions of Tiger Toys’ I-DOG line. Basically, the Burger King ones are substandard versions of the actual I-DOG toys, which are pets that, when you hook your .mp3 player up to them, they flash lights and wave their ears in time with the music, in an unbridled display of whimsy. BK was selling the dog, cat, penguin, and turtle versions. So why is the toy line called I-DOG then, when three-quarters of them aren’t dogs? *shrug*
I’d wanted the cat, naturally, but I missed the window to get one. So you can imagine my glee when I learned that not only would BK have them again this year, but each would have a Hallowe’en theme. Glee, squared!

After weeks of pestering various Burger King employees in the SE Michigan area, I can now proudly announce that I have the i-Cat… and he’s got a robot costume. How appropriate is that?? Actually, I bought the cowboy one day by mistake, and the next day I got the robot, but still.

The Missus’ T-shirt provided by Mr Rstevens of Diesel sweeties Boutique,
in beautiful downtown Burbank, California

Now the quandary is that this lil’ fella needs a name. Sidore suggested ‘Shironeko’, as it’s a pun on her last name, Kuroneko (‘black cat’), with shiro meaning white. ‘O, that’s not pretentious at all,’ I laughed. ‘So what, he’s gonna sit round the place all day, listening to Bauhaus and writing awful poetry?’ I suggested the clearly superior Mecha-Moggy 5000. Shi-chan’s response? ‘That is retarded, and you are retarded.’

This is where you come in, reader! In the spirit of it being an election year, we have a poll, where you can vote for the name of a toy cat that you don’t even own! The winning entry will be the one we go with, so vote with vigour. VIGOUR! And if you think you can come up with a name more suitable for said cat, then have at it in the comments. Technically we haven’t even decided on a gender yet, so that doubles the possibilities.
FUTURE EDIT (02 DEC): Poll’s closed! We have a winner!

As an aside…

‘[You and Sidore] are living in as close to the Diesel Sweeties future as anyone alive today.’

– rstevens, webcomics assembler person

How ace is that??