Sdtrk: ‘Polichinelle’ by France Gall

Some startling (well, not all that startling) developments have cropped up regarding the abandoned Synthetik in Izu, Japan. Pink Tentacle reports:

According to investigators, the man had lived with the sophisticated doll for several years after his wife passed away, but decided to part with her after making plans to move in with one of his children. “It seems he grew attached to the doll over the years,” said the chief investigator. “He was confused about how to get rid of her. He thought it would be cruel to cut her up into pieces and throw her out with the trash, so he proceeded to dump her illegally.”
the entire article is here

Heh heh, ‘sophisticated’. ‘The Doll would spend most of her evenings unwinding with a glass or two of Clicquot, whilst listening to the strains of Mantovanni on her phonograph.’ It’s entirely possible.
Reading more about her former owner, we can see that he was ultimately well-meaning. A bit of a knucklehead, but well-meaning. He’s an example of one of hundreds of Doll owners who aren’t aware that there’s a global community for that sort of lifestyle. If he knew that, seeing as that the above quote implies that he was more of a Doll husband as opposed to a Doll fetishist, he probably would’ve arranged to have a fellow iDollator purchase her, instead of treating her to the indignity of a dump-and-dash in the middle of the woods.

Happily enough, however, today I’ve learned that Prof.Sakai, Japanese RealDoll collector extraordinaire, has given her a good home. Her name is Misaki (not sure if that was her name to begin with, but it’s what she’s got now), and she’ll be joining the ranks of Sakai-sensei’s 22+ Dolls. I don’t know who’s more fortunate — Misaki, for getting a new lease on ‘life’, or Prof.Sakai, for having 22+ feckin’ Dolls. Lucky bastard.
From his site, filtered through Babelfish:

Revival (wallpaper renewal)

So France which is reported to the entire world on this month first you think that it is perhaps understood even with the one where the conjecture is not good revived. When with process of investigation cooperation it becomes disposal after the investigation ending, to know, because then it is pitiful, it did to the thing which I receive. One day spending, to wash with the thinner, because it became a state where the photograph can take at last. Asking to the usual belonging exclusively stylist, it had preparing also the clothes in one for her, but as for that with future….

By the way, the parting line of the foot which has come out of the sleeping bag in first reporting (so it was visible but) terribly it is to think that it is not the empty real doll, but something hard ones, for example the door of the car, or the toe 轢 being with those like the winch, it collapsed, seems like truth.

Yep. He also adds:

In announcement of police as for her of 170 centimeters in height and 53 kilograms of weight of sleeping bag included body 8. There are no same ones, but as for the hand and foot when you saw commonness with body 6,7,9?, because it is the kind of size which is similar, taking type, if it duplicates with silicon, time is required, but sooner or later the finishing it heals.

Remember how I said Babelfish can do more harm than good at times? This is one of those times.
What I gleaned from that was
+ Sakai-sensei had to wash her down with thinner to make her presentable
+ the toes on one of her feet were smashed at some point, possibly in a car door, but he’ll be repairing them, and
+ she’s a Body 8, going by her stats.

‘She was the victim of “Realdoll Murder”, but she has come home,’ the good Professor says on his site. I think that’s a rather heartwarming end to the case, wouldn’t you agree?

Misaki the new girl (right), with Ryui

Technorati tags: Abyss Creations, RealDolls, iDollators, Japan

Sdtrk: ‘William, it was really nothing’ by the Smiths

It had to happen eventually. Actually, this sort of thing’s happened before, but I can’t locate a link to a previous reported instance at the moment. So won’t you just facepalm along with me, and read this instead?

Japanese murder investigators fooled by life-sized sex doll
Justin McCurry in Tokyo
guardian.co.uk | Tuesday September 02 2008 17:12 BST

Police in Japan have been left red-faced by an apparent murder that turned out to be an unusual case of mistaken identity.

It began in the morning with a frantic call from a couple who had spotted a “corpse” while out walking their dog in a mountain forest in Izu, central Japan, the ZakZak news website reported today.

Fifteen officers were dispatched to the scene, where they discovered a human form wrapped in plastic and tightly bound around the neck, midriff and ankles, with hair protruding from one end.

The body was left untouched and taken away for examination, and the crime scene duly secured by a police cordon.

Back at the local police headquarters, officials notified reporters who had turned up early the same morning to cover an annual earthquake drill. They began preparing to write up the launch of a major murder investigation.

Dozens of extra officers were dispatched to interview potential witnesses, while the evening edition of the local newspaper carried a report of the gruesome find, complete with a photograph of the body’s resting place.

By mid-afternoon, the body was in the hands of police pathologists. But when they sliced open the wrapping, they were confronted not by a decomposing corpse, but by a life-sized sex doll.

A police spokesman apologised for the commotion but defended his officers, saying they had simply been following protocol by leaving the concealed “body” untouched until it was in the hands of pathologists.

Though no crime had been committed, the spokesman could not resist admonishing the doll’s mystery owner. The doll, he told bemused reporters, showed signs of repeated use.

“Our guess is that the owner didn’t want to take a risk by throwing it away with the rest of his rubbish,” he said. “It was an incredibly irresponsible thing to do.”
photo source is here

Going by the detail and the skintone of her (very cute) feet, she kinda looks like either a RealDoll or a My Party Doll. Frankly, the pathologists should’ve consulted a professional.
Ahem.

The way I see it, this silly fuckwit had five options. He could’ve:
1. sold her (yes, there’s a market for that sort of thing)
2. given her a decent burial
3. run her round to Shimizu Kannon-do in Ueno park, where Orient industry consecrates Doll souls twice a year as a Buddhist memorial service
4. wrapped her up, flung her into the woods, waited for the subsequent CRAZY MEDIA EXPOSURE, and giggled for a week straight, or
5. sent her round to Ronald Dotson, as I hear he could use the company.
Can you guess which one our idiot friend went with?

Wow. Someone just won some bonus punches, as far as I’m concerned. Not out of spite or anger, mind you, but purely to teach him an abject lesson

EDIT (19 SEPT): A pleasant follow-up!

Sdtrk: ‘Syncopot’ by Ron Geesin

Four days into the month, and it looks like a slim showing of news. Perhaps things will pick up, though… I mean, apart from Simroid-chan and Holon-chan, what’s Kokoro Co. Ltd been up to? Or KITECH, for that matter? Didn’t Baeg Moon-hong promise that EveR-3 would be making her debut before we see the back of 2008?? And should I even enquire about the company that brought the world Dion? Don’t tease us, people; it’s impolite…

So what have we got for September? We have

+ a new model of Personal Companion by the name of Brandi-Lynn, from the good blokes at 1st-PC.

CAUTION: does not come with hairbrush

At 5’5″ and around 55 lbs, boasting measurements of 36.23.35, she seems rather pleasing! And to me, she bears a passing resemblance to Heather Graham. I think it’s the hair. Put her in a pair of rollerskates — the old-style ones, not the inline kind — and see if I’m wrong…

+ Phoenix Studios, as expected, has added yet another sexy Boy Toy to their sexy stable.

CAUTION: pointy hair

Miss September is an enticing lass, I’d say. And did you notice that she’s got, err, more to offer in the bust department? ‘I come with enhanced breasts at no extra charge!’ she says. That’s a pretty positive selling point, so you have to admire her initiative.

+ And rounding out this month’s report is a personal item; this Sunday past, I was once again the subject of a blitzkrieg ten-minute interview conducted by Tanya Gold, for The Independent, a newpaper from the UK. She’d sent an Email asking if I’d be willing to speak about being Sidore’s long-suffering husband, so I naturally said Yes. At the very least, it should be interesting; for one, she seemed genuinely startled when I mentioned that my ideal partner would be a walking, talking Gynoid… I mean, who knew, right? *gestures to ‘Shouting etc etc’ in general*
She tells me the article should materialise sometime next week, and of course, once I know, you lot will know. You know?

Technorati tags: Simroid, Holon, Kokoro Co. Ltd., KITECH, 1st-PC, Phoenix Studios, Boy Toy Dolls

Sdtrk: ‘Kangaroo’ by This mortal coil

It’s long been a goal of mine to learn multiple languages, as obviously it can open up several new venues for a person. In order, I’d love to master Japanese, German, French, and Gaelic (both Scottish and Irish). Hell, why not throw in Lapine, the language the rabbits spoke in ‘Watership down’, as well, cos if I somehow manage to free up enough time in my life to learn five additional languages, I might as well make it six. But it’d be fantastic: Japanese would enable me to understand all that Japanimation that I watch; German would let me translate Laibach lyrics; French, so I could watch unadulterated episodes of ‘Belle et Sébastien’, and Gaelic, so I could ken what the living hell’s being said on this webpage.

Arbh fhearr leat bábóg nó bean?!
Le Ciara Nic Gabhann

Is ait an mac an saol, rud a fhíoraíonn lucht ceannaithe Real Dolls go paiteanta. Tugann Ciara Nic Gabhann léargas ar na fir arbh fhearr leo caidreamh a bheith acu le bábóg ná le fíorbhean.

Tagann an ráiteas “there’s nowt as queer as folk” chun cuimhne agus mé ag meabhrú ar an scannán Lars and the Real Girl, a bhí le feiceáil i bpictiúrlanna le gairid.

Sa scannán seo insítear scéal fir óig, Lars (Ryan Gosling), a bhfuil cónaí air i mbaile beag. Is duine é Lars a mbíonn faitíos uafásach air agus é i gcomhluadar – comhluadar ban ach go háirithe – agus mar gheall air seo, seachnaíonn sé gach saghas caidrimh. Labhraíonn comhghleacaí dá chuid leis lá amháin faoi mhainicíní sileacóin, ar a dtugtar Real Dolls, atá múnlaithe i bhfíorchruth mná. I ngan fhios d’aon duine, ordaíonn Lars ceann de na bábóga ar an idirlíon.
the rest of the article is here

It’s about Dolls and iDollators, and mentions me and the Missus in extant (looks like it quotes that pack of lies known as the Marie Claire UK article) as well as ‘Lars etc etc’, and the language burns my brain.
Would any of you lovely readers out there happen to know Gaelic, by any chance? I’d use Babelfish, but as you know, that’s sometimes akin to putting a language in a blender, and drinking the results. Any takers? I’ll name a kitten after you!*

*note: the kitten won’t actually be mine, as our apartment doesn’t allow pets

Sdtrk: ‘Satellite’ by Depeche mode

Andy Warhol, iconoclast and Pop art meister, would’ve been 80 today, on 06.08.08. Personally, I think he was early by like two days.

‘I don’t know where the artificial stops and the real starts’

Many happy returns, Andy!
That having been said, where’s his Android when you need him?

Technorati tags: Andy Warhol, robots, Android

Sdtrk: ‘Did you expect the gods to tread lightly when they came among you’ by Caldera lakes

We have a metric ton of news to cover in this month’s instalment. A ton. Ready GO!

You’ve probably seen this already, but Kokoro Co. Ltd.’s winsome Actroid DER2-chan made her media debut recently; she was in an advert for an insect repellent/sunscreen spray for the Japanese manufacturer Kincho.

Titled “The Woman Who Doesn’t Rust,” the 15-second commercial spot shows Actroid outdoors at a campground, where she recommends using Preshower because, as a female, her skin is important. After a few squirts of the spray, she cheerily adds, “Surprisingly, I don’t rust.”
taken from Pink Tentacle

Her voice. It’s so cute.
Today, a 15-second telly advert; tomorrow, a major part in a feature film! Well done, babe!

Speaking of Gynoids, some bloke in Japan is trying his hand at building one himself. His project is called Maidroid, which immediately identifies two target markets he’s aiming for.

She won’t be a very good maid with only one arm

Of course, everything on his site is in Japanese, and I don’t have the kind of patience to Babelfish the entire page, so just do what I do — visit it, scroll towards the bottom, click on some links, stare at the pics, watch the videos, and nod approvingly.

This one submitted by la Gina Banina: the Art of Alex Sandwell Kliszynski. He’s got a theme going, much in the style of Mario A., Juergen Specht, and Low Tek Photography, as you’ll soon note.

Five points of articulation. That’s four more than a McFarlane figure

There’s not a tremendous amount of photos in the gallery, so hopefully Mr Kliszynski has more out there that he’s just not displayed on his site yet…

Speaking of Doll art, you know (sexy) fellow iDollator Stacy Leigh‘s photos of her gorgeous silicone roomies have been shown in another publication, right? This time round, she was interviewed for the July/August issue of Park, a French magazine (scroll to the bottom for the article). They gave her eight pages! Rock on, missy!

Speaking of print magazines, on domestic shores, the August issue of Penthouse features a very even-handed four-page write-up on Real-Dolls (needed another hyphen there), which means you can actually say you’re reading it for the articles… Better hurry up and grab it, cos you know how it is with print — it’s always one month ahead, and since it’s August as we speak, all the August issues out will magickally turn into September issues in a couple of days.

Speaking of August, Phoenix Studios once again meets another deadline! I’ve always loathed August for its excessive heat and humidity; thankfully, Miss August doesn’t reflect those qualities at all. And good on her.

And why would I be attracted to her? She looks
nothing at all like the Missus!

For a couple of seconds, I was kinda confused as to what seasonal event she was supposed to represent, until I twigged it — she’s dressed as a schoolgirl. School (in the States) starts in late August. Ah haaah. Very clever, Phoenix Studios; very clevair.

Speaking of seasons, Boy Toys in and of themselves look fab enough, but Phoenix Studios are pulling another innovation out of their hat(s) with the Boy Toy Seasons line, featuring Summer, Autumn, and Winter, and Spring. These lasses are super-limited edition (only fifty of each will be made), but on top of that, their faces fall in between the stylised qualities of the regular Boy Toy line, and the realistic look of regular RealDolls. Huh!

It’s Summer time (not to be confused
with ‘Hammer time’)

Aaand finally, blindly groping my way through Google, I spotted a website for an indie film entitled ‘Rubberheart‘.

It’s Tuesday and Maggie (Rebecca Hall) is on the prowl at her local hunting ground, the video store. Hapless video nerd Ted (Jake Sandvig) tries, as always, to curry favor with Maggie, but she needs more intrigue. She needs more of a man. Enter Nick (Josh Cooke). Maggie courts Nick while browsing the Tinto Brass collection. They go to Maggie’s to watch Salon Kitty and make love on the couch.

The morning after, Maggie wakes without the usual sense of dread that comes with a hangover and making small talk with a stranger who you’ve had mediocre sex with. They agree to see each other again.

After a few weeks of renting films and watching them at Maggie’s place until carnal pleasure interrupts, Nick invites Maggie to dinner at his house. When Maggie arrives, Nick has something to share…something that takes Maggie completely by surprise.

SPOILERS: He’s got three lovely RealDolls. Well, it’s not much of a spoiler, really; I mean, why else would I be writing about it?
I’ve contacted the director, Brian Crano, in an attempt to procure a copy of the film for review. It’s actually making the film festival rounds — it’s due to be shown at the Canary Wharf Film Festival later this month. Full details are, of course, available on the film’s site, so if you catch it, let me know! Well, let Brian know too, as I’m sure he’d appreciate it.

Whoo! That… was a lot of news in one go. I think I need a Djarum

Technorati tags: Kokoro Co. Ltd., Actroid, Kincho, Maidroid, Android, Gynoid, robots, Alex Sandwell Kliszynski, Stacy Leigh, Park Mag, Penthouse Magazine, Phoenix Studios, Boy Toy, Rubberheart, Brian Crano, RealDolls

Sdtrk: ‘Nu, Iside’ by LAShTAL

What with SoulCalibur being one of the two fighting games I like (the highly-underrated Rival schools being the other), how pleased was I to see that one of the characters in SCIV is a Gothic Lolita automaton lass? As punch. Meet cute, rustproof Ashlotte:

Between her metal dress and the head of that crazy spear she’s rockin’, she seems to have an ‘iron maiden’ motif going, which is entirely appropriate. And did you spot the gears in her midsection? Mmm, lovely. All she needs is a great big key sticking out of her back, and that would be fantastic. Clang clang, indeed…

Normally, my fave SoulCalibur character is the luscious British alchemist Isabella Valentine, even though SCIII screwed up her movesets. SCIII screwed up a number of things, such as not nipping that whole file corruption bollocks in the bud, to be honest. But don’t worry, our Ashlotte will put things right!
Now all I need is a PS3 or an XSLAB 360! Ergh