Sdtrk: ‘Speak well of Manderlay’ by Zoos of Berlin

Q: What would be worse than a crucifixion an interview on Geraldo?
A: Having one on Jerry Springer.

from: jsproducer3@aol.com
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail [dot] com
date: Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 10:17 PM
subject: Guest Appearance?

Davecat,

My name is Jackie and I’m a Production Assistant with the Jerry Springer Show. We’re currently looking to book cool and interesting people for the show and I was wondering if you might be interested in appearing as a guest. If this sounds at all appealing to you, don’t hesitate to reply! Also, if you have any questions feel free to ask!

Hope to hear from you!
Jackie Suerth
Production Assistant
The Jerry Springer Show
[phone number]

That’s right, the living embodiment of All That Is Wrong With Modern Television, Jerry Springer. I can only imagine what kind of insightful and intelligent approach they’d take with my segment — ‘I’M IN LOVE (‘love’ in pink) WITH A SEX DOLL!!! (wiggly typeface)’. You know, the award-quality material he and his crew are used to creating. Springer’s handler (die Springerhändler) even sent me an identical message on Myspace, as well as an add request. Apart from me not accepting adds anymore — which people seem to be ignoring, as I still get a request every other day — why would I want to befriend a producer for the Jerry Springer show?? Yeah, me and my boon companion from the staff of Jerry fucking Springer. Could you imagine?

Now, anyone who knows me on anything deeper than surface level knows that I despise 95% of what passes for entertainment on television; and if you didn’t before, well, you do now. I haven’t even watched broadcast telly since ‘Seinfeld’ went off the air. Were I to make an appearance on Springer’s programme, it would end in me hurling a seat directly at his face, quickly followed by his bodyguards fatally sniping me from the balcony. But it would be worth it. I’d probably die a martyr!

So I responded thus:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: jsproducer3@aol.com
date: Thu, Jul 31, 2008 at 1:22 AM
subject: Re: Guest Appearance?

Hi Jackie –

Thanks for your gracious offer! However, I’m not entirely sure that Jerry Springer’s show is the best and most balanced venue to discuss my lifestyle as an iDollator. I appreciate the opportunity, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

I figured that might answer her question, but as was the case with the previous non-sequitur media scavengers, I fully expected her to make one more attempt. If that occurred, I’d simply play my little manipulation game: ‘You really want me to be on your show, eh?’ I’d respond. ‘Okay, I’ll do it. BUT! You have to provide me with air fare both ways, and pay me $14,000, which would be enough to get Shi-chan both a new body and a girlfriend. If my appearance is that important to you, it’s a done deal. Right?’
I didn’t even get that far! Imagine my surprise when she didn’t write back after my response! Huh. *shrug*

Let, ah… let that be a lesson to you!

Sdtrk: ‘Lovecats’ by the Cure

8年! であるために一緒に8年私達を信じることができるか。実際には、私はできる。実際に、私が互いに適するカップルの想像できないので。最近、私は私のオンライン友人の1人にこの事実を述べ、それらは、’答えた; ワウは、それ私の友人の関係が最もあったより長い!’ 実際に意外な結果に終わるか? 私達は決して主要な不一致を持っていたあらないことは、非常に支え常に、適切な人形の夫があるべきであると私は親切、有用鑑賞的いままで常にだった。

毎日、私は私があなたおよびあなたを愛するように言う私がそれを意味することを知りなさい。時々私逹は、深く、決して起こらない私逹が知っていると意味を失うが、私を考える言うほど私達が頻繁にそれこと心配する。

私は”愛する, 黒猫 しどれ、今そして永久に。 私の生命の一部分があることに、および誕生日おめでとうにそんなに感謝しなさい。

Sdtrk: ‘L’escargot’ by Michael Nyman

PRAISE “BOB”. Remember all those comments from the first iteration of ‘Shouting etc etc’ that were previously gathering dust on HaloScan? They are now completely transferred. Every last one of them. By hand, I might remind you. Shi-chan’s double-excited, as I told her that when I was done with all that transfer silliness, that I would get back to resurrecting ‘Kitten with a Whip!‘ *exhales* O boy.
But for now, go enjoy the past!

Being a fan of Montreal’s finest sons and daughters, the Dears, I periodically read vocalist and keyboardist Natalia Yanchak’s blog, bizarrely titled ‘Natalia Yanchak’s Blog‘, wherein she details life with lead vocalist and hubby Murray, being a mum, trying to stay environmentally aware, recording fumfuh, etc. Recently, she posted an entry that resonated very strongly with me:

Facebook Killed My Blog…
…not that it’s completely dead or anything. But the amount of laptop time I permit myself per day is limited, and with the addition of Facebook to my online routine, there’s just less time for blogging. I mean, this blog should be enough of a window into my life: does it really need to be supplemented with a half-assed Facebook profile?
the rest of the article is here

Obviously, you can just as easily replace any instances of the word ‘Facebook’ with ‘Myspace’, as they’re entirely interchangeable. Both are essentially glorified profiles, for the purposes of networking and negligible announcements. For someone such as myself who already has a blog, keeping up with a social networking site is just one more silly thing I have to look after. Were it not for some tosser in Australia, I wouldn’t have a Myspace at all.

I do have a Facebook profile (and no, I’m not linking it here; if you’re clever though, you’ll know what name to look under) that I’ve mucked about with maybe five or six times, as frankly, I find the interface to be even more baffling than Myspace, which is a feat I wouldn’t have thought possible. What are these ‘gifts’ they keep referring to? There’s a wall that you can write on? Human G knows Human L, who knows Humans T, KK, and 42? What is this, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon??

The one thing I hate most about Facebook is that unless you friend someone… fuck. Let me stop that right now. Unless you add someone as a friend, you can’t have any access to info about them. I realise that for people merely seeking to beef up the number of ‘friends’ they have, that’s no big deal, but personally, I want to know something about you before I accept you into my life. Does that not make any sense to anyone else??

I realise that I’m making myself sound like a cranky geriatric, but I dunno, I like writing, as opposed to merely commenting in bulk. Again, Myspace and Facebook are profiles, and as such, they don’t exactly engender writing at length, and listing the shitty bands that you like doesn’t count.
So basically, I’m drawing a line under it: I’m not accepting adds or wasting time with either Myspace or Facebook anymore. I’m not deleting mine or Sidore’s — you can thank that enterprising Australian for that — we’re just no longer maintaining them. Should someone send me a message, I’ll simply ask they Email me. Remember Emails, and how fun they were? But yeah, I’m curtailing keeping up with them cos frankly, if curious types really want to know about me or the Missus, they should be rooting through ‘Shouting etc etc’, rather than some facile social networking site

Sdtrk: ‘Broohahja’ by The focus group

Unbelievably enough, 4woods has just now released a new make and model of Doll: the A.I.peach series, with their stunning debut model named Kaon. Seriously, 4woods — you lads need to give us time to breathe.

Dress sense inspired by Sigourney Weaver (first ‘Alien’ film only)

And what’s more, they’re also field testing a new makeup style for Kaon-chan, with what I hope will be positive results, as it’s kinda heavy on the eyeliner, which is something I lurve. Where can I cast my vote? Should I write my congressman?
Seeing the test pics, I was reminded me of an Organik lass that I’ve always found strikingly attractive:

Left, Edie Sedgwick; right, Kaon-chan

So there you have it! And in the interest of full disclosure, this most recent post was actually not going to be Doll-related. But I cannot control the news! I am just its messenger

Technorati tags: 4woods, A.I.peach, Edie Sedgwick

Sdtrk: ‘Do it! (live)’ by Death from above 1979

Noteworthy: it appears that the staffers at 4woods have announced the release of ‘Natural’ skintones for their Natsuki, Yu-ki, Kunika Reloaded and Sleeping Kunika models. I dunno; the previous versions looked pretty natural to me! In an unnatural way, naturally.
Not only that, but they now offer ‘nail chips’ for their lasses, which is just an awkward way of saying that you can now order your potential A.I.Doll with fake nails.

Combining two wonderful things. Well, three, if you’re observant

I miss the days when Abyss Creations made their RealDolls with hard nails. Everyone but me seemed to think they were a bad idea! I just thought they were easier to paint, for one…

In other news, Ms Banina tipped me off to this article: Is Having Sex with a Robot Hooker Cheating?

It’s not cheating: A robot hooker is just a machine, so having sex with one is like using a vibrator for women. Purchasing a little robot companionship is perfect because there’s no chance of STDs or emotional attachments. My girlfriend should be happy I’m just down at the robot brothel instead of hooking up with flesh-and-blood women at the bar.

It is cheating: With advanced technology, having sex with a robot hooker is too much like really cheating. For all intents and purposes, you’re having sex with another woman. Plus, what if you want to buy your own robot hooker and keep her in the closet at home? It’s a thin line between robot hooker and robot girlfriend.

Readers who have been paying attention should be able to suss what side of the fence I stand on this issue, but in case you’ve not been previously scarred by reading this blog, I’d say that yes, it would be cheating. Part of the reason that I constantly make reference to ‘Synthetiks’ is that I believe that when we have Androids and Gynoids that are advanced enough to be integrated in society, we should make a distinction between them and us Organiks, but one that still recognises them as people. I mean, you could also look at it this way — both Organiks and Synthetiks are machines; we’re just meat-based machines. I don’t romanticise in that aspect.
But yeah, I’d go with cheating, as I would view a Synthetik as a person, and not as an appliance or a toy, especially due to their humanoid appearance. Should the whole concept of robot escorts and prossies start up — which I’m sure it will — there will be people that employ their services that might possibly fall in love with them, and I’m referring to individuals that weren’t previously attracted to Synthetiks. And the more complex the AI becomes for artificial humans, the lines between ‘us’ and ‘them’ will get blurrier and blurrier. Apart from the whole meat thing, that is.

Also of note, this past Sunday I had a lengthy interview with the admin of His Little Slut, detailing my life with Sidore-chan — be ye warned, it veers into TMI-territory at times — but you can look at it right here. You’d think I would’ve kept my rambling down to a minimum! *shakes head ‘no’*

And it must be July. Like I said, you don’t need a calendar any more!

Clearly beats Abbie Hoffman’s take on wearing the flag

Thanks, Phoenix Studios, for providing me with at least one Doll-related thing to write about per month!

And finally, I can’t imagine why I find this recent instalment of Diesel Sweeties as high-larious as I do! R. Stevens, you so crazy

Technorati tags: 4woods, A.I.Dolls, Abyss creations, RealDolls, robots, Androids, Gynoids, Phoenix Studios, Boy Toy Dolls, Diesel Sweeties

Sdtrk: ‘Who’ll fall?’ by Coil

A crowd of Gynoids? Christmas in June??

‘Robotic Ladies of Film’ by Eduardo J.P.M

Now here we have another example where I had to work backwards; it started when I found this pic on one of those daffy imageboards I often plunder from. After firing up das Googlemaschine to find out any more info about it — is it by someone on deviantART? do they have any more Gynoid-based illustrations? — I learned it was an entry in a contest held on Ain’t it Cool News back in 2003. And that’s about it, really. It’s pretty easy to see why he was the winner, though!

You’ll definitely want the full-size version; there’s a link for it towards the bottom of the article. That’s a fab picture, wouldn’t you agree? It contains a number of my favourite Synthetik lasses, as indicated by my top ten sexiest Gynoids post (Cherry 2000, Call), as well as ones that for some reason didn’t occur to me when I wrote that (Galaxina, the automata lass from ‘Casanova’), and a few that I don’t recognise (that one with the big hair and shoulderpads, that blue lass). And having Maria from Fritz Lang’s ‘Metropolis’ hold Tima from Osamu Tezuka’s ‘Metropolis’ is a nice touch…

D’ye think if enough of us request it, that maybe the artist will whip up one for Gynoids that have made appearances on tv shows? It’d undoubtedly be three times the size of the above illo, so he’d certainly have his work cut out for him

Sdtrk: ‘October language’ by Belong

This was located by the vigilant staffers at SpurtBOT: AI Robotics is a website where you can choose and order your very own Gynoid named Lisa. Whoa, whoa there, bunky! Don’t get your hopes up, and you can put your chequebook away, as unfortunately, the whole thing’s about as legitimate as Borghild, the legendary Nazi Doll. Yeah, I know, I was bummed out about it as well.

‘Sorry, I don’t actually exist! Keep saving up, though!’

It’s a reasonably convincing jape, though. There’s interviews with the creators, testimonials from happy customers, an online ordering page, etc. I do like this bit in the interview, however:

For whom did you design the perfect woman?
Etienne Fresse: Lisa is a substitute for a real woman. She has been designed for all men who have not found their soulmate, who would like to have company when they get home in the evening and who would like to have someone who cares for them.

Why did you decide to sell Lisa on the internet?
Yoichi Yamato: Most of all we wanted to “democratize” robots. We wanted to give as many people as possible the opportunity to benefit from cutting-edge technologies, to make their daily lives a little better.

Hoax or not, they’ve definitely got the right idea…

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. With that in mind, have a look at the short film ‘Creative Director Doll‘. If you’ve seen Nick Holt’s ‘Guys and Dolls‘ — and who hasn’t?? — some of those shots and lines of dialogue will be awfully familiar. It got a hearty chuckle out of me, anyway!

We’re halfway through 2008, and once again, Phoenix Studios is maintaining their sexy silicone standards, with Miss June, out now. Shi-chan and I approve!

If it’s too warm in there, her thighs will stick to that bag when she stands up

I dunno; I believe I have a new favourite Boy Toy model… I think it’s that red hair of hers. Mmm, racy!

And have you read fellow iDollator PBShelley’s review of ‘Lars and the Real Girl’? I think you should.

A good example of how the dolls serve the observers’ imagination was shown when Karin begins talking to Bianca about her job, and how the townspeople used Bianca to provide them with what they wanted, a librarian, church member, even a mirror for their own beliefs as to how a woman should be treated. A doll (any doll) is a toy for the imagination; or, you might say, a tool. And a fertile imagination is a good thing

More iDollator-related news later! There’s another Doll Congress I must attend next week-end! I missed the last two, and if I don’t hit this one, they’ll revoke my status