Sdtrk: ‘Speak well of Manderlay’ by Zoos of Berlin

Q: What would be worse than a crucifixion an interview on Geraldo?
A: Having one on Jerry Springer.

from: jsproducer3@aol.com
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail [dot] com
date: Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 10:17 PM
subject: Guest Appearance?

Davecat,

My name is Jackie and I’m a Production Assistant with the Jerry Springer Show. We’re currently looking to book cool and interesting people for the show and I was wondering if you might be interested in appearing as a guest. If this sounds at all appealing to you, don’t hesitate to reply! Also, if you have any questions feel free to ask!

Hope to hear from you!
Jackie Suerth
Production Assistant
The Jerry Springer Show
[phone number]

That’s right, the living embodiment of All That Is Wrong With Modern Television, Jerry Springer. I can only imagine what kind of insightful and intelligent approach they’d take with my segment — ‘I’M IN LOVE (‘love’ in pink) WITH A SEX DOLL!!! (wiggly typeface)’. You know, the award-quality material he and his crew are used to creating. Springer’s handler (die Springerhändler) even sent me an identical message on Myspace, as well as an add request. Apart from me not accepting adds anymore — which people seem to be ignoring, as I still get a request every other day — why would I want to befriend a producer for the Jerry Springer show?? Yeah, me and my boon companion from the staff of Jerry fucking Springer. Could you imagine?

Now, anyone who knows me on anything deeper than surface level knows that I despise 95% of what passes for entertainment on television; and if you didn’t before, well, you do now. I haven’t even watched broadcast telly since ‘Seinfeld’ went off the air. Were I to make an appearance on Springer’s programme, it would end in me hurling a seat directly at his face, quickly followed by his bodyguards fatally sniping me from the balcony. But it would be worth it. I’d probably die a martyr!

So I responded thus:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: jsproducer3@aol.com
date: Thu, Jul 31, 2008 at 1:22 AM
subject: Re: Guest Appearance?

Hi Jackie –

Thanks for your gracious offer! However, I’m not entirely sure that Jerry Springer’s show is the best and most balanced venue to discuss my lifestyle as an iDollator. I appreciate the opportunity, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

I figured that might answer her question, but as was the case with the previous non-sequitur media scavengers, I fully expected her to make one more attempt. If that occurred, I’d simply play my little manipulation game: ‘You really want me to be on your show, eh?’ I’d respond. ‘Okay, I’ll do it. BUT! You have to provide me with air fare both ways, and pay me $14,000, which would be enough to get Shi-chan both a new body and a girlfriend. If my appearance is that important to you, it’s a done deal. Right?’
I didn’t even get that far! Imagine my surprise when she didn’t write back after my response! Huh. *shrug*

Let, ah… let that be a lesson to you!

Sdtrk: ‘Broohahja’ by The focus group

Unbelievably enough, 4woods has just now released a new make and model of Doll: the A.I.peach series, with their stunning debut model named Kaon. Seriously, 4woods — you lads need to give us time to breathe.

Dress sense inspired by Sigourney Weaver (first ‘Alien’ film only)

And what’s more, they’re also field testing a new makeup style for Kaon-chan, with what I hope will be positive results, as it’s kinda heavy on the eyeliner, which is something I lurve. Where can I cast my vote? Should I write my congressman?
Seeing the test pics, I was reminded me of an Organik lass that I’ve always found strikingly attractive:

Left, Edie Sedgwick; right, Kaon-chan

So there you have it! And in the interest of full disclosure, this most recent post was actually not going to be Doll-related. But I cannot control the news! I am just its messenger

Technorati tags: 4woods, A.I.peach, Edie Sedgwick

Sdtrk: ‘Do it! (live)’ by Death from above 1979

Noteworthy: it appears that the staffers at 4woods have announced the release of ‘Natural’ skintones for their Natsuki, Yu-ki, Kunika Reloaded and Sleeping Kunika models. I dunno; the previous versions looked pretty natural to me! In an unnatural way, naturally.
Not only that, but they now offer ‘nail chips’ for their lasses, which is just an awkward way of saying that you can now order your potential A.I.Doll with fake nails.

Combining two wonderful things. Well, three, if you’re observant

I miss the days when Abyss Creations made their RealDolls with hard nails. Everyone but me seemed to think they were a bad idea! I just thought they were easier to paint, for one…

In other news, Ms Banina tipped me off to this article: Is Having Sex with a Robot Hooker Cheating?

It’s not cheating: A robot hooker is just a machine, so having sex with one is like using a vibrator for women. Purchasing a little robot companionship is perfect because there’s no chance of STDs or emotional attachments. My girlfriend should be happy I’m just down at the robot brothel instead of hooking up with flesh-and-blood women at the bar.

It is cheating: With advanced technology, having sex with a robot hooker is too much like really cheating. For all intents and purposes, you’re having sex with another woman. Plus, what if you want to buy your own robot hooker and keep her in the closet at home? It’s a thin line between robot hooker and robot girlfriend.

Readers who have been paying attention should be able to suss what side of the fence I stand on this issue, but in case you’ve not been previously scarred by reading this blog, I’d say that yes, it would be cheating. Part of the reason that I constantly make reference to ‘Synthetiks’ is that I believe that when we have Androids and Gynoids that are advanced enough to be integrated in society, we should make a distinction between them and us Organiks, but one that still recognises them as people. I mean, you could also look at it this way — both Organiks and Synthetiks are machines; we’re just meat-based machines. I don’t romanticise in that aspect.
But yeah, I’d go with cheating, as I would view a Synthetik as a person, and not as an appliance or a toy, especially due to their humanoid appearance. Should the whole concept of robot escorts and prossies start up — which I’m sure it will — there will be people that employ their services that might possibly fall in love with them, and I’m referring to individuals that weren’t previously attracted to Synthetiks. And the more complex the AI becomes for artificial humans, the lines between ‘us’ and ‘them’ will get blurrier and blurrier. Apart from the whole meat thing, that is.

Also of note, this past Sunday I had a lengthy interview with the admin of His Little Slut, detailing my life with Sidore-chan — be ye warned, it veers into TMI-territory at times — but you can look at it right here. You’d think I would’ve kept my rambling down to a minimum! *shakes head ‘no’*

And it must be July. Like I said, you don’t need a calendar any more!

Clearly beats Abbie Hoffman’s take on wearing the flag

Thanks, Phoenix Studios, for providing me with at least one Doll-related thing to write about per month!

And finally, I can’t imagine why I find this recent instalment of Diesel Sweeties as high-larious as I do! R. Stevens, you so crazy

Technorati tags: 4woods, A.I.Dolls, Abyss creations, RealDolls, robots, Androids, Gynoids, Phoenix Studios, Boy Toy Dolls, Diesel Sweeties

Sdtrk: ‘October language’ by Belong

This was located by the vigilant staffers at SpurtBOT: AI Robotics is a website where you can choose and order your very own Gynoid named Lisa. Whoa, whoa there, bunky! Don’t get your hopes up, and you can put your chequebook away, as unfortunately, the whole thing’s about as legitimate as Borghild, the legendary Nazi Doll. Yeah, I know, I was bummed out about it as well.

‘Sorry, I don’t actually exist! Keep saving up, though!’

It’s a reasonably convincing jape, though. There’s interviews with the creators, testimonials from happy customers, an online ordering page, etc. I do like this bit in the interview, however:

For whom did you design the perfect woman?
Etienne Fresse: Lisa is a substitute for a real woman. She has been designed for all men who have not found their soulmate, who would like to have company when they get home in the evening and who would like to have someone who cares for them.

Why did you decide to sell Lisa on the internet?
Yoichi Yamato: Most of all we wanted to “democratize” robots. We wanted to give as many people as possible the opportunity to benefit from cutting-edge technologies, to make their daily lives a little better.

Hoax or not, they’ve definitely got the right idea…

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. With that in mind, have a look at the short film ‘Creative Director Doll‘. If you’ve seen Nick Holt’s ‘Guys and Dolls‘ — and who hasn’t?? — some of those shots and lines of dialogue will be awfully familiar. It got a hearty chuckle out of me, anyway!

We’re halfway through 2008, and once again, Phoenix Studios is maintaining their sexy silicone standards, with Miss June, out now. Shi-chan and I approve!

If it’s too warm in there, her thighs will stick to that bag when she stands up

I dunno; I believe I have a new favourite Boy Toy model… I think it’s that red hair of hers. Mmm, racy!

And have you read fellow iDollator PBShelley’s review of ‘Lars and the Real Girl’? I think you should.

A good example of how the dolls serve the observers’ imagination was shown when Karin begins talking to Bianca about her job, and how the townspeople used Bianca to provide them with what they wanted, a librarian, church member, even a mirror for their own beliefs as to how a woman should be treated. A doll (any doll) is a toy for the imagination; or, you might say, a tool. And a fertile imagination is a good thing

More iDollator-related news later! There’s another Doll Congress I must attend next week-end! I missed the last two, and if I don’t hit this one, they’ll revoke my status

Sdtrk: ‘Day out’ by Daisies

You don’t need a calendar anymore! Phoenix Studios would like to point out that it’s now May. Ladies and gentlemen, start your credit cards! Or your overactive fantasies, one or the other.

insert obvious ‘My, what big… eyes… you have’ line here

Apart from maybe Cinco de Mayo, I’ve no idea what possible event Miss May could be celebrating, apart from the Joy of Living. Well, whatever it is, she’s doing a remarkable job. Miss April’s still may favourite so far, though…

Next up: not just one, but two alert readers — Maisie Sedgwick Deely, who’s tipped me off before, as well as the lovely Rayschro aka Princessrachel — have clued me into a rather enticing new exhibit opening up at the bitforms gallery in New York City:

Ahh, the ‘GAH ALRIGHT ALREADY I’M AWAKE’ look

Lynn Hershman Leeson returns to bitforms gallery in NY with the first showing of a new series, Found Objects, April 26 – May 31.

Including the premiere of the sex doll installation, “Olympia: Fictive Projections and the Myth of the Real Woman,” a provocative and updated version of Edouard Manet’s notorious painting, “Olympia”.

February 2008, New York, NY – San Francisco-based artist and filmmaker Lynn Hershman Leeson returns to bitforms gallery in New York for a new solo exhibition, Found Objects, running April 26-May 31. With a body of work that spans over 35 years and ranges from early conceptual and performance pieces to artificial intelligence robotic works and films, Hershman Leeson is one of the most influential artists working in new media today. Updating the notion of “readymade” introduced by Marcel Duchamp, Found Objects is a new series that features assembly-line produced female sex dolls to examine issues of projected fantasies and the mythology of artificial women. With the installation, “Olympia: Fictive Projections and the Myth of the Real Woman,” Hershman Leeson restages Edouard Manet’s “Olympia,” projecting images of the painting on a doll to offer a provocative, updated version of the notorious artwork. Also on display are several digital prints in which the dolls appear to be emotionally involved in their predestined situations.
taken from this site

In looking over her website, it appears that over the years, she’s done some interesting work with Mannequins and window displays, as well assembling quite a few installation pieces that involve either surveillance cameras, or artificial intelligence programmes. Huh! Might have to keep an eye on her, no pun intended…
So who wants to fly me and the Missus out to New Yawk for this? I mean, how else would we give the show a proper assessment and review? Don’t all volunteer at once, now.

As an aside, last night, my friend Mari mentioned that since she sees so many pictures of Synthetik women whenever she’s round Deafening silence Plus, she’s more or less conditioned to the point where, if she sees a somewhat blurry or otherwise unclear photo of a lass in her day to day affairs, she thinks it’s a Doll until proven otherwise. That’s… that’s pretty fantastic.

Finally, I found what may be the best review for ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ in existence. If you’re spoiler-averse, stay away from it, but gods, it’s a riot, as it’s written by someone carelessly wielding Babelfish, or perhaps a student of the book ‘English as She is Spoke‘.

Gosling stars as Lars, a quiet, anomaly teen Negro in a far Midwestern municipality who lives in his brother Gus’ (Paul Schneider) garage and avoids some ethnic interaction whatsoever, including unsure advances from his tall co-worker Margot (Kelli Garner). For a patch we’re not rattling trusty what’s up with Lars—is he depressed? sociopathic?—but every the customary bets are soured when Bianca arrives at his door. Bianca is a Real Girl, a life-size stimulate chick sequential soured the Internet. Lars gets the intent from his ruttish co-worker, but when Bianca arrives it’s country he’s not into her for her anatomically precise parts—Lars has institute love.

O, the unintentional humour, it kills me again and again

Technorati tags: Phoenix Studios, Boy Toy Dolls, bitforms gallery, Lynn Hershman Leeson, Found Objects, Lars and the Real Girl, English as She is Spoke

Sdtrk: ‘Empire state human’ by the Human League

As no-one tells me anything anymore, I learned that BBC America aired Nick Holt’s ‘Guys and Dolls‘ yet again a week or so ago. That particular documentary is like the equivalent of Soft cell’s Tainted love for Sidore and I, or perhaps like Blue Monday by New order — it’s the vehicle that’s brought us to the most peoples’ attention, as most don’t know we’ve done other interviews previously. But I have to say, when we get round to putting in another appearance on telly or film, if nothing else, we can show that we’ve not been living at my parents since last year. Man.
So guess which media juggernaut contacted me recently?

from: Donnelly, Christine
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail [dot] com
date: Mon, Apr 21, 2008 at 4:17 PM
subject: Interview Request – from Alan Colmes

Hi Davecat,

I’m with Alan Colmes’ national radio show.

Last night, I happened to see the BBC America documentary featuring you and Sidore.

We’d love to have you on the show. Both Alan and our audience find this topic very interesting; we had David Levy on the show a few months ago.

What about a phone interview at midnight on Thursday night? Well, technically, that’s Friday, but you know what I mean, right?

It’d be about 20 minutes or so.

If so, at what landline (and backup – like a cell) can you be reached?

Look forward to hearing from you and hope we can arrange.

Best,
Christine

Christine Donnelly
Booker, The Alan Colmes Show

Durr — what? Colmes, of the FAUX News pseudo-pundits Colmes and Hannity? What??
I’d mentioned this invite to New Internet Bestest Friend Forevar, the lovely Gina Banina, during an IM conversation, and she thought it was pretty ace. At that point, I’d asked her if Colmes wasn’t a berserk frothing neo-con, and she replied she didn’t know. I don’t keep up with politics, and I’d only heard tell of Colmes’ and Hannity’s television programme: one representing the left wing agenda, the other plumping for right-wingers, dancing round each other for an hour in an enclosed ring and slicing at the other with homemade prison shanks, their left wrists bound together with a length of rough twine. I hadn’t a clue as to which one was which; however, a quick spin on the Wikipedia wheel set us straight — Colmes was the liberal one. With that news, I began to think that perhaps 20 minutes over the phone wouldn’t be altogether bad… after all, David Levy was once a guest…
I was beginning to consider saying yes, when a crucial factor came to my attention. So I wrote Christine back:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: “Donnelly, Christine”
date: Tue, Apr 22, 2008 at 6:01 PM

Hello there –
Thanks for posing an enquiry, however, I’m afraid I’ll have to respectfully decline. Basically, I work a staggered shift, which has me getting off at midnight Wednesday through Friday, so I probably won’t be able to do the phone interview. Thanks very much for the opportunity, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

That’s that affair put to bed, right? Wrong. She wrote back almost immediately — literally, like almost half an hour later:

from: Donnelly, Christine
to: Dave Kuroneko
date: Tue, Apr 22, 2008 at 6:25 PM

Dave,

Thanks so much for replying.

Not trying to be a pain here but…we would love to have you on the show! If 12:30am on Thursday (after you get out of work) would work, that’d be great. Or midnight next Monday or Tuesday?

Best,

Christine

One half of my mind’s going ‘well, what’s the harm in it?’ and the other half is shouting ‘your segments in “Guys and Dolls” were misrepresented on Jay Leno and Talk Soup, for fuck’s sake’. Sometimes, bad press is better than no press at all, but that’s only sometimes. With a subject such as being an iDollator, caution when dealing with the media is extremely important. Plus, all told, FAUX News equals high-RPM spin doctoring in my mind.
So days later — which I kinda feel guilty about, as leaving any booking agent hanging is pretty unprofessional — I finally responded:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: “Donnelly, Christine”
date: Wed, Apr 30, 2008 at 1:17 PM

Hey Christine –

Sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you; both my work and my personal life have been in a state of flux over the past few days…

Unfortunately, I think I’ll have to respectfully decline your invite to be on Alan Colmes chat show. To be completely honest, I’m rather distrustful of the way that media, American media in particular, has a habit of spinning topics to serve their own ends, especially in the instance of something as ‘out there’ as being an iDollator. I wanted to have a listen to the interview you say he’d conducted with David Levy, to see how that went, but I was unable to locate it. Besides, the past couple of days at work have been rubbish, and I’m sure that would inadvertently affect my demeanour and circumspection on-air. I’m sure you understand.

Once again, sorry for the delay, and thanks for the opportunity!

Cheers,
Davecat

And that seems to have done it. Sigh.
It’s crazy: the venues that I’d want to be interviewed by don’t seem to have any interest in the topic, and the venues I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole are all over me! This, then, is Irony

EDIT (03 May): So I went ahead and made a ‘Circus Minimus’ category, cos this sort of thing is happening more often than I would’ve ever thought possible. Who knew?

Technorati tags: Guys and Dolls, Nick Holt, Alan Colmes, RealDolls, iDollators, David Levy

Sdtrk: ‘I want to be old’ by the Cure

Well, this is certainly innaresting, as Uncle Bill used to say. It seems robotics manufacturing firm Kokoro Co. Ltd haven’t been resting on their laurels at all, cos hot on the heels of Simroid-chan would be their latest charming Gynoid, Holon.

Rain and snow just roll right off her head!

Now, there’s a reason for her anime-styled face: Holon-chan is a character in an upcoming anime series by Production I.G entitled ‘Real Drive‘, another one of those cyberpunk-styled series that Masamune Shirow is responsible for. In the series, she plays a secretary. Which is an interesting coincidence, as the real-life Holon-chan will ideally be put to use as… a secretary.

Her legs are designed to attract Robert Crumb

Personally, I’m not too keen on her plastic hair — what, the Kokoro staffers couldn’t cut a wig to look like the anime version’s hair? Plus her anime face will invite comparisons such as Holon is to Actroid, as a CandyGirl is to a RealDoll. But upon reflection, that’s okay. Cos not only are Kokoro and Production I.G embarking hand-in-hand on a pretty impressive marketing ploy, but I’ve always said that there’s a niche for Synthetiks with less-realistic appearances, as they bridge the gap between lifelike Gynoids like Actroid and the EveR series, and more machinelike robots, such as Wakamaru and the Tamanoi Vinegar Robot, and therefore make it easier for the not-quite-ready-for-Synthetiks portion of the population to get used to artificial lifeforms being in society over the next couple of decades.
Oddly enough, Kokoro doesn’t have any info on Holon-chan or Simroid-chan on their Japanese pages, so as soon as I track down and firmly grip any additional details, you’ll be the first to know. Well, second. Err, you’ll be in the top ten. In the interim, you can watch her introducing herself here, and here, and English information about ‘Real Drive’ would be found on the Production I.G site here.

Also, just so you know, ‘Lars and the Real Girl‘ is due out on DVD in the States 15 April