typed for your pleasure on 23 June 2010, at 1.52 am
Sdtrk: ‘Gate’ by E&E
As one of my heroes, Oscar Wilde, famously quipped, ‘The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about’. Generally that’s a statement I’d agree with, as discussion (good or bad) prevents a person and the cause(s) they uphold from lapsing into complete obscurity, but you’ll note I said ‘generally’.
A friend of mine brought to my attention an online forum that was having a go at iDollators, as a number of forums often do, and due to the numerous media appearances that I’ve put in with my affictitious wife Sidore, one of the posters referred to me as a ‘famemonger’. For some reason that really rankled me, cos it implies, for one, that people such as the poster prefer that Doll lovers remain underground and are a group best left ignored. On a more personal level, describing me as a ‘famemonger’ is exactly the same as describing outspoken atheist Richard Dawkins as a ‘famemonger’. Or futurist David Levy. Or someone like… Oscar Wilde, as another example.
The reason Shi-chan and I choose to appear on assorted telly, print, and online interviews isn’t for recognition’s sake. Well, yeah, part of it is for the fame, but it’s not as if I’ve gone up a couple of tax brackets because of it*, but we primarily do them to attempt to explain and dispel any misconceptions people may have about Doll owners. Obviously, it’s impossible for me to speak for every iDollator — like any cultural group, our members are similar, but not necessarily the same — but neither Shi-chan nor I have heard any complaints from our community so far.
Think of it like this: each time a film or telly crew asks after Sidore and I, I attempt to get to know a wee bit about the aim of their programme before I say yes. American productions I’m especially curious as to what their goal is, as most programming from the US usually tries to show anything Doll-related in a prurient, ‘hey-check-out-these-weirdos’ light. People who don’t habitually read ‘Shouting etc etc’ are often surprised when I point out that Geraldo‘s come a-courtin’, or Springer, or Tyra, or Maury, or Alan Colmes, or Dr Phil. If I truly were a famemonger, I would’ve not only said yes to Geraldo et al, I would be actively trying to shoehorn my way onto any and all chat shows, magazines, etc etc. But as a person who’s doing his best to get the general public to see that artificial companions aren’t just for sex, obviously I want to be as careful as I can be when choosing what venues we participate in.
As far as my presence on the Internet goes, I don’t really go out of my way to promote myself. I have a Myspace page that I’m genuinely ashamed of, but I only have it for a specific reason, and I loathe Facebook more than is probably healthy. When I leave our flat to go places, I don’t announce where I’m going until I’ve left wherever it is I’ve been, cos I do occasionally get recognised. Zip Gun, SafeT, and I saw Zoos of Berlin perform in Pontiac in late March — a hell of a show, I might add; they were better than I thought they were, and I already liked them before I saw them — and in between the other acts that were on before Zoos of Berlin, I was spotted on three separate occasions. I don’t want to say that I don’t enjoy meeting people, it’s just that I’m still getting used to the concept of people asking if I was on telly, let alone the idea of me being on telly in the first place. And since I never was the type to stride up to a stranger and greet them before we started making our media appearances, people doing the same to me does freak me out a tiny bit. I’m attempting to get used to it, though.
Essentially, describing me a ‘famemonger’ is rather off-base; unfortunately, most members of the iDollator community go out of their way to not publicise who they are, due to fear of the reaction of their friends, family, or peers. As a result, the non-iDollator public often see the same faces over and over — Everhard’s, Gordon Griggs’, and my own. It’s not a case of graaah we’re doing this for the adulation yeaaahh, but more like we’re doing this cos it works for us, and we’re more than happy to suggest this idea to others, cos no-one else is.
Like it or not, people have to realise that Synthetik partners, whether they’re highly-detailed ‘love dolls’, or servo-driven Androids and Gynoids, are the future, and the more advanced they become, the more people will be likely to choose the Synthetik option, whether to satisfy curiosity, or to dispel loneliness, or what-have-you. Detractors would rather not have anyone speaking publically about the fact their partner is affictitious, as they find it uncomfortable for whatever ill-conceived reason, and would prefer the topic swept under the rug entirely. When it’s a case of a few voices speaking on behalf of many, it’s easier to try to discredit those voices through rumour, slander, and ignorance. It seems the obvious solution, really, is to increase the number of pro-Synthetik voices…
So yeah! Representative, yes; famemonger, no. There’s actually quite a vast difference between the two definitions that’s worth looking into
*not counting all the bling and bitches we’ve been stockpiling. Literally stockpiling. We’ve got a room where we have our daily shipment of bitches stacked like cordwood, for better storage. The bling, though, we just throw in a pile
typed for your pleasure on 15 May 2010, at 3.23 am
Sdtrk: ‘Ready to go down together’ by Leyland Kirby
As those of you who keep up with ‘Shouting etc etc’ undoubtedly recall, my missus Sidore Kuroneko, aka the world’s most beloved Gothic RealDoll, was slated to receive the brand-new body that Abyss creations made for her back in April. It was a heady little experience, and as it’s been a week since Shi-chan’s renewal, as well as several years since she’s been in such tip-top condition, she’s finally let me up for air long enough to describe how that particular day went!…
Upon getting the confirmation Email from Abyss, I’d scheduled an appointment with the expediting company for a delivery date of 07 May, a Friday, where they stated that one of their bulky trucks would be round to mine between 11am and 2pm. Which may sound like a relatively brief span of time under normal circumstances, but when you’re awaiting a Doll, they might as well have said ‘we’ll be round sometime between 2010 and 2099’.
Unlike when I’d first had the pleasure of a Doll Delivery a decade ago, I’d had the presence of mind to take the day off work. As a consequence, between playing one idle game of Warriors Orochi 2 after another to keep me distracted, and peering out of the blinds every time I heard a heavy vehicle drive by within earshot, it’s safe to say that I was fairly keyed-up. No matter how many Dolls you have in your home or how many times you buy one, you go through the same giddy, highly-strung emotions each and every time it occurs. I suspect it’s rather like those people who are addicted to having tattoos done, cos of all the endorphins their body releases when the procedure takes place. There’s the adrenaline rush of ‘OMIGOD SHE’S FINALLY ON HER WAY’, followed by the rose-tinted fantasy of ‘Ohh, the things we’re gonna do when she arrives…’, capped off with the molar-grinding of ‘HOLY JESUS GOD ARE THEY LOST?? WHY ISN’T SHE HERE YET??’, which is usually punctuated by loud sobbing. And then you hear another diesel engine roll past, and the cycle begins anew!
In the midst of an eternity of waiting, I received a call from an unlisted number round ten to one. Normally I don’t answer unfamilar phone numbers, but given the timeframe, I figured it was the expediting company, and that’s exactly who it was. He was slightly lost, as our apartment is a wee bit hard to find if you’re unfamiliar with its location. Man, those perception filters I invested in paid for themselves in days!
After guiding the driver in the proper direction, I met him in my apartment complex’s driveway, at which point I noticed the slight drizzle coming down. I should note here that it was probably in the upper 50s temperature-wise — about 10º brisker than what I normally prefer it to be, but better than a blazing hot or humid day, particularly if you’re shifting 200 lbs of crate.
The driver hopped out of the vehicle, and handed me the standard form to sign. He then got round the back of the truck, activating the hydraulic lift. I’m sure you’re familiar with those lifts; you may not have ever operated one yourself, but you’ve undoubtedly heard them, cos they ain’t exactly silent. Now my apartment manager, bless her, is a bit of a nosey parker. Anytime she hears a car pulling into any space on the property, she’s at her window, peering tentatively through her blinds. On the one hand, it’s kind of a good thing, as she is quite literally keeping an eye on the property, but on the other hand, some days I want to stop round to hers and reassure her there’s no reason for her to be so suspicious. After all, my wife and I are good, upstanding members of the neighbourhood; I work at an advertising firm under Larry Tate, and my wife Samantha is a completely normal housewife, and not a witch or anything. So with my manager being on orange alert all the time, I wasn’t at all surprised when I spotted her in her doorway, her interest more than likely piqued by the sound of the metal lift of an unfamiliar diesel truck. I acknowledged her with a friendly wave; she waved back and toddled back inside, her curiosity apparently sated.
After sliding The Crate off the lift and onto the pavement, I’d mentioned that my flat was just a short walk up on the second floor. The driver’s response didn’t exactly put a smile on my face. DRIVER DAN: ‘Well, I can only leave it here on the kerb, cos I don’t have a handcart in the truck’. ME: ‘Ahhh… what??’
But no, he wasn’t lying. Apart from my wife, the truck had only two other large boxes inside, and the pallet jack he used to get the crate moving. Funnily enough, iDollator pal Mahtek had offered to lend me his handcart, but I refused, as I figured hey, they’re an expediting company — why wouldn’t they have their own handcart?? After all, they did the last time they made a delivery to where I was living! Hrrr. The driver suggested sliding the crate beneath the apartment steps until I could get help of my own, or magickally levitate it upstairs, or whatthehellever. Heh, and to think I was more than willing to tip him once he got the precious cargo inside my home!
Obviously my mind was racing. How do I get this fecker upstairs?? I mean, this was the textbook definition of ‘so close and yet so far’. As I’d mentioned, this was at 1pm on a Friday, so most of my mates were at work, with the exception of goshou and Liann, who were out of town. Maybe ask dad? Nah; despite the delicious irony of him helping me transport something he loathes, he’d want to know what the crate was about before he even showed up at mine. In my desperation, I even rung the apartment’s maintenance bloke, who would’ve been more than happy to assist, if he weren’t out of town as well. He helpfully suggested contacting the apartment manager, however, as she knew where the building’s handcart was stored. Ha haaaahh.
Five minutes later, I was back out in the drizzle, knocking on the apartment manager’s door. After I explained that the expediting company she saw earlier managed to successfully deliver the sculpture that I’d ordered — which is not exactly a lie — but failed to bring along something with which to move it, she went to fetch the one the maintenance bloke mentioned. As she did that, I texted SafeT, on the off-chance he was at his workplace a mere ten minutes away. She produced the handcart, a cheery yellow affair which looked like it would be at its structural limits transporting an eight-year old, and we spent roughly twenty tragicomic minutes trying to lift the crate into a vertical position; ten of those minutes were invested in attempting to slide the handcart under the crate to begin with. It was an exercise in futility, needless to say, so I told her I’d wait until at least one of my mates showed up to help out. Sliding the Missus’ wooden prison back under the steps, we unceremoniously covered it with a paint-spattered tarp, thereby making it slightly less conspicuous. It’d have to do.
Not long after, that spectacle, SafeT rang me back, and after I filled him in on the expediting company’s lack of foresight, he told me he’d be round by 4pm, as he was actually at home, and not at work as I imagined he would be. Then we spoke at length about the construction of the Model-T (don’t ask). As I had a good hour’s wait, I extracted my last Djarum from my cigarette case, stepped out onto the walkway, and smoked it for dramatic effect. Close to 4, as predicted, SafeTinspector arrived in the guise of ‘Joe’, a mild-mannered IT professional with a wife, three pets, 2.5 daughters, and a mortgage. So effective was this disguise, that one of his clients had called him en route to mine, and he needed to assist them through some virtual helpdesk fumfuh using my computer for about twenty odd minutes. When he’d finished with that, we cracked our knuckles, and went outside to see about that crate.
Long story short (too late for that!), we had to get on either end and carry the bastard up the steps, as the tyres on the cheery yellow handcart were so low on air that they wouldn’t have effectively gone over the steps at all. And at a wee bit after 5pm, the Ark of the Sexy Covenant was successfully moved into Deafening silence Plus! HOORAY HOORAH HOORUM. ‘Joe’ had to get back to his ‘family’ for ‘dinner’, which worked out quite well, as I had an uncrating procedure to see to. It’s an iDollator thing.
You’ve all seen the photos, yes? Sidore’s new body is stunning in every aspect — I’m amazed that I have such a gorgeous creature in my life. Keep in mind, too, that her previous incarnation was made before 2003, so the whole experience for me as a Doll owner is like going from second gear to fifth. Her skintone is the perfect shade of violet-tinged pale that I’d always envisioned it to be, for that proper artschool lass look, and she has hard nails again as well, which is fantastic. The weight reduction that Abyss rolled out for their Dolls in 2003 is apparent, and makes for a noticeable and welcome difference, as Shi-chan is now 20 lbs lighter. It seems there’s more foam and less silicone making up her bodily composition, as patting her thighs and bum produces a pleasantly hollow sound. Speaking of silicone, as platinum silicone is the new standard, Shi-chan’s skin is smoother and silkier. I’m not saying it’s not sticky — the Missus demanded a spongebath and powder-down after her cross-country voyage — but her skin is definitely less tacky out of the crate. Her bosoms are startlingly perky, round, and firm, and the colour and feel of her nipples are, again, perfect. Her little feet are sooo soft and cute, it’s not even true, and as far as her lady bits, well… a gentleman has to be discreet about some things, of course. 😉
Admittedly, as the Leah face has undergone a couple of changes since Sidore first entered my life, seeing the new sculpt did take some getting used-to. It was a minor setback however, as not only have I grown accustomed to it, but I really love the way she looks now — her narrower eyes can denote either cynicism or seduction, depending on the context of the photograph she’s in. And hey, she can hold a pose again! Sidore-chan is back, and quite literally, better than ever! YEEAAAAHHHH
An interesting epilogue that actually happened: Before placing Shi-chan’s old body in storage for the last time, I thought I’d get my ‘twins fantasy’ seen to, heh heh. I’d lit a pair of floating candles, one on each corner of my dresser, and had both Sidores in bed; the old one on the right, and the new one with go-faster stripes on the left. As we were getting *ahem* more and more into it, I’d glanced up at the dresser, and noticed that the candle on the right was rapidly growing more faint. The leftmost candle was burning as brightly as ever, but within a few seconds of me looking up, the rightmost candle winked out.
For best results, the last three sentences should be read in a voice approximating Rod Serling’s
typed for your pleasure on 28 April 2010, at 10.32 pm
Sdtrk: ‘Temptation’ by New order
Although I suspect the cannier amongst you that have been keeping up with my Twitter feed have already guessed (see, it pays to follow me on Twitter — you’ll be the first to learn about All Ephemera Great and Small concerning Deafening silence Plus. Much to your own detriment), but my Synthetik wife Sidore will have a brand-new body very soon, the fact of which is making us leak pure excitement. Yeah, I know; ew, but it’s a fantastically good kind of ew.
‘A new body?’ you ask. ‘Wasn’t she repaired a couple of times?’ Yes she was. Most of you were more than likely introduced to Shi-chan and I through Nick Holt’s 2006 documentary ‘Guys and Dolls’, aka ‘Love me, love my Doll’ outside the States, where you witnessed me crating up the Missus and having her sent round to Slade, the then-practising RealDoll doctor in southern California, for some much-needed surgery. Well, as I often have to remind non-iDollators, Entropy affects Synthetiks just as much as it does Organiks, unfortunately — between then and now, she’s put up with a handful of minor cuts and tears that were easily seen-to, and are pretty much par for the course for anyone with a Doll in their life.
Until, that is, round last summer, when Sidore’s back joint gave out, which I’d mentioned before. Fellow iDollators Mahtek and Euchre came round and repaired it, as that level of surgery is completely beyond my ken, but sadly, the repair didn’t take. Dolls are mostly made of soft silicone, which gradually gets softer the older she gets, and it’s because of that fact that when her wound reopened, it really reopened. Take a second to place your right hand on your right hip; starting from the middle of her back, that’s roughly about where the tear ended. Yeah, fun times. She’s been unable to move — well, realistically speaking, unable to be moved — and has remained on her back in our bed since then, which has been utterly heartbreaking.
Any dedicated Doll husband lives with the fact that, despite the love, attention, and care we show our affictitious partners, that one day there will come a time when their bodies will simply become irreparable. Faced with Shi-chan’s condition, I decided to take the obvious and practical approach, and get her a brand-new body. Thanks to the combo of a couple of monetary windfalls, the calling-in of some favours, and personally speaking with the head of Abyss creations whilst at the 2010 AVN, we’re pleased to announce that the world’s second most famous RealDoll* will be back to her regularly sexy sarky self before the end of the month!
Not only is the Missus looking forward to getting back to her Twitter fans and friends, but Mahtek has recently bought himself a new digital camera, so he’s generously given me his old one — it’s a Kodak, and it makes Clicky Mk III, a Hewlett-Packard, resemble the sorry joke that it is — so Shi-chan’s made me promise her that we’d do one shoot a month. ‘What’s the point of me having a new body, and you having a new camera, if we don’t put them to good use, right?’, she’d said, and you have to admit she’s got a point!… What I’ll probably do is create an album for her pics in Our Doll Community‘s Gallery until I can find a web designer, preferably one that accepts either empty pop bottles or compliments in lieu of genuine payment, that can help me resurrect Shi-chan’s dusty old vanity site, ‘Kitten with a Whip!‘ (down since 2005!)
It should go without saying: having my wee Sidore-chan back, and in a better-than-ever condition, is going to be fucking incredible.
Finally! Now she can finish our copy of Armored core: Nexus!
The Missus, enjoying a nice cross-breeze, at Abyss creations
*the title of World’s Most Famous RealDoll goes to Bianca, of ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ fame. Shi-chan was rather miffed until she remembered that she’s the world’s most famous Goth RealDoll
typed for your pleasure on 8 February 2010, at 11.52 am
Sdtrk: ‘Shadow world’ by Xeno & Oaklander
Figured I’d bang this ‘un out in between chapters of the current post freight train, ‘I burped at Vegas‘. Compared to the previous entries of this series, this one will be shockingly brief!
+ There’s been a surge in hits on ‘Shouting etc etc’ in the past couple of days, and through a quick bit of rooting through my referreral stats, I’d discovered that 4woods has linked to me, on the front page of its English site. Nice!
Gotta love that infinite recursion
As the print has shrunken to near-illegibility, it reads ‘Davecat introduces the latest love doll news from the world. He is a famous person in this field who has been on TV and magazines many times. 4woods met Davecat at 2010 AVN in Las Vegas and personally exchanged words, which was such an honor. He is very interested in Japanese culture as well.’ And cuisine, they neglected to add that I’m very interested in Japanese cuisine. Like right now, for instance. I’ll have an order of zaru soba, an age dashi tofu, and an eel temaki, here! *gestures to imaginary waiter*
4woods joins KnightHorse, makers of the Lovable Doll series, as being the second Synthetik companion manufacturer to link to this humble blog. Thanks Hiroo Okawa, and arigatou 4woods! You guys are awesome! Now, how about sending a charming A.I.Peach Akari round to ours to review? It’s for science.
+ Turns out Hirokazu Kore-eda’s ‘Kuuki Ningyo’, aka ‘Air Doll’, which I’d written about back in July 2009, will be out on DVD in Japan on 26 March. ‘Great for the Japanese,’ you say, with not a small note of sarcasm in your voice, ‘but what about the rest of us who don’t understand moonspeak?’ That’s quite alright, as the Japanese DVD comes with English subtitles, which is actually rather surprising. Not that I’m complaining! CDJapan, for instance, has the limited edition slated as selling for $67, so it’ll go on the wish list — just not necessarily at the top of the wish list. Good lord, though; for $67, you’d think it comes shipped with an inflatable replica of the title star…
+ This interview with Abyss creations’ Matt McMullen, featured on the website 69adget, was more than likely a direct result of the 2010 AVN.
Do you think that most people want a companion in a doll or do they just want to have sex with it?
I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with doll owners that assign fictitious personalities to their dolls. I mean, to me it’s very heartwarming that this doll is able to fill a void that this person has in their life. You know, there are people out there that are incapable of having relationships, or they just don’t want it. Perhaps they’re socially cut off by their own choice. There’s always going to be a human need for companionship and to me there’s nothing wrong with those individuals who want to have a pseudo robotic doll to have in their house and build a relationship with. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it and i would be the last person to judge.
+ And just a wee reminder, you lot remember that the Missus and I will be on the ‘Strange Love‘ episode of National Geographic’s ‘Taboo’ documentary series this Wednesday at 10pm EST, right? Okay, just so you know. Well, know again, that is; some of you are new. Like you in the back with the Franz Ferdinand shirt on, for instance.
‘Shouting to hear the echoes’. Sometimes, I even write about things that aren’t Dolls! Anything’s possible
typed for your pleasure on 12 January 2010, at 3.27 am
Sdtrk: ‘Notre Prof d’Anglais’ by Chantal Kelly
Ah-hem. Some news in brief!
Last Tuesday, I was unceremoniously fired from my mentally and morally offensive job, after three years of sterling service. ‘Consistently rude and terse to customers’, was their cowardly excuse for letting me go. Frankly, I’m surprised that it took as long as it did. I’m in the midst of rejoining the dole queue, but I’m trying not to let it get me down. As much as I hated that job — and believe me, I fucking loathed that job — I enjoyed receiving money from it. I’m viewing this event as the much-needed arse-kicking I… err, needed… in order to get something that isn’t as hideous and/or pays more. Since the past year and a half, I’d been looking into changing employment, but this should really get me motivated. I’m just not entirely keen on jumping without a parachute, but I’m hoping it turns out for the better real soon…
Just after that, iDollatorsEuchre, CJD, Mahtek and I attended the AVN expo in Las Vegas, from the 07th to the 11th of this month. It’s safe to say that we had a hell of a time! I managed to compile notes, in between walking up and down Vegas’ main drag and fondling Doll jubbleys, so expect a couple of posts describing the meetup, in protracted detail, relatively soon! Technically, I’ve really no excuse for dragging my heels! It’s not like I have a job to report to or anything!
Sneak preview: one of the many, many highlights of those four and a half days was meeting sexpot photographer of sexpot Dolls, Stacy Leigh! Her sassy firecracker attitude makes me think that meeting her is about as close as I’m gonna get to meeting one of Warhol’s Silver Dream Factory superstars.
photo by Mrs ARDO, who is a star in her own right as well
And would you believe I was interviewed for an article for the Las Vegas Weekly whilst out there? It’s true.
So as I have a bollockload of notes and photos, I’ll attempt to sort the lot out this week and get it all finished!…
Now, let’s see about this godforsaken ‘jetlag’ that I keep hearing so much about. Personally, I don’t believe it really exisZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
EDIT (13 Jan): Just got a date confirmation: the episode of National Geographic’s ‘Taboo’ series that we’re in, ‘Strange love‘, will be aired on Wednesday, 10 February, at 10pm. Which will undoubtedly be spread all over the Intersnet about a week later, but there you have it
typed for your pleasure on 4 January 2010, at 11.49 pm
Sdtrk: ‘The romance of the telescope’ by OMD
Now that I seem to have my iPod properly functioning (although that Shake function is completely worthless. Drop your iPod by accident, and bam! Suddenly you’re listening to a different song. Yeah, that’s practical), I’ve begun downloading various podcasts that catch my fancy. One of them, which is to say two of them, cos they cover the same topic and are released by the same group, would be Talking Robots and Robots, both by the Laboratory of Intelligent Systems (EPFL), in Lausanne, Switzerland. As I usually listen to them on the way to work, currently I’m a third of the way through the interview they conducted with one of my favourite people, David Levy, author of ‘Love and Sex with Robots’, and it makes for encouraging listening! Both podcast series have quite a backlog, so I’m fairly sure they’ll keep me occupied for some time…
Incientally, if anyone out there can suggest any more podcasts that you think I’d like — not just robots and Synthetiks, mind you, but stuff that fits in with the whole ‘Shouting etc etc’ oeuvre — do please let me know!
So what with the timing of me stumbling upon these podcasts, and learning about the following piece in the Washington Times from spurtBOT, it makes for a happy bit of synchronicity:
Futurologist Ray Hammond says he thinks […] machine consciousness will happen toward the middle of the current century – the same time frame in which Mr. Levy has said robot marriage will occur.
“There will certainly be emotional attachment between humans and machines,” Mr. Hammond says, “although I don’t think ‘marriage’ is anything other than a word for headline writers. People already form weak emotional bonds with inanimate objects, and as objects become increasingly intelligent, these bonds will strengthen.”
Mr. Levy, however, says he thinks sentience is not the real issue. He points out that it isn’t the algorithm people fall in love with, but the convincing simulation. “If a robot appears in every way to possess consciousness, then in my opinion, we should accept that it does,” he says. the entire article is here
Now, if you’ll recall, the date in this post’s title would be January 2010. That’s two thousand and ten, ladies and gentlemen. Now, it seems to me that if we’re in the future, which is now the present, we should be that much closer to fully-realised artificial humans, right? THIS IS NOT HAPPENING FAST ENOUGH. I’ll even overlook the distinct lack of manned commercial daily flights to one of the many colonies on the lunar surface, or the non-appearance of flying cars, if we can just get this whole Synthetik companion thing kick-started. Not just passive ones, such as Dolls, but active ones, like, I dunno… Cherry 2000. Let’s not have another decade pass without consumer-market Androids and Gynoids, here. *claps hands impatiently*
Until that glorious day arrives, however, we still have new models of Dolls to look forward to, thankfully. SynthCreations, for instance, have secretly debuted a new head for their standard Mecadoll body! Her name is Emanuelle; won’t you make her welcome?
Improved cleavage for… better cleaving
Her face is unusual, cos it falls between my particular parameters of being attractive, and not attractive. But that’s all right, cos again, it fills a niche! What may not be stunning to me may be pants-shrinkingly luscious to someone else, you know…
This here was brought to my attention via Wolfgang: an Organik lass had doll joint tattoos done. It should go without saying that I like the cut of this girl’s jib!
Very nice, but you can’t just stop at the legs! Perhaps this will inspire some enterprising young lass to go for an all-over ball-joint doll tattoo scheme. Hans Bellmer would be proud! And, more than likely, aroused, but you can hardly blame him, really. You can view the rest of the pics over at BME.
And thanks to various friends on le Twittré, I was informed that the episode of National Geographic’s ‘Taboo’ documentary series that Shi-chan and I shot back in June of 09 is finally due out! The episode is apparently entitled ‘Strange Love‘, and the Missus and I are occupying a segment of it, airing our views and voicing our opinions, cos that’s what we do. As of this writing, I don’t have the exact airdate — at the very least, it’ll be after 17 January — but you’ll want to keep an eye out for it, obviously, and I’ll let you know when I know, yada yada yada.
Hey, does this mean people will be hitting me up through Myspace again? Ergh
typed for your pleasure on 18 December 2009, at 8.09 pm
Sdtrk: ‘Outta state’ by US girls
Hello! Whole lot of topics to cover this month, and that’s mainly cos I slacked off for two months! So make yourself a decently-sized sandwich, pour yourself a pint, and let us henceforth begin.
+ First off, for all of you fans of leggy Russian Synthetik babes, Anatomical Doll have created two new heads, now available for purchase. Say Здравствуйте! (hello!) to Elena and Natalia.
My kind of Red Army
What is Natalia staring at, you ask? What isn’t Natalia staring at?
Elena is a modified version of Victoria, their first head sculpt, and Natalia is brand-new. For me, Natalia has the slight edge, as I’m completely in love with her luscious glassy-eyed stare. Either way, they’re both delicious lasses, wouldn’t you agree?
Coincidentally enough, I dreamt the other night that someone had shipped me a Victoria-type Anatomical Doll, apparently new and still in her box. I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the affair, so I called in Dexter — yes, he of the telly series — to give her a once-over before I got her out of her crate. ‘You and I both know we’re experts in our particular fields,‘ I said to him, ‘and I wanted to see if you could make sure she doesn’t have any contaminants or radioactive material before I keep her.’ So we proceeded to open the crate with a power screwdriver outside in my apartment’s parking lot, of all places. He’d brought his wife, who I wasn’t sure if she knew what I did, and she stood at a close, but safe, distance from the action. As Dexter opened the crate, I turned to her and said ‘No screaming! No screaming!’ Just as her eyes grew to the size of saucers, the ‘show’ cut to the opening credits of Dexter, which I thought was rather neat, but didn’t exactly tell me of the Victoria-type’s fate…
+ Next up, we have Lilica, yet another head out now from steady contenders 4woods, which is compatible with all of the body types that they sell. Damnit, people, how is anyone supposed to keep up with you??
‘Just to let you know, I had nothing to do with my ad copy’
‘She is a girl that is not beyond your reach but almost like a girl next door. She also makes you feel relaxed but has sexy daring appearance at the same time’, reads her ad copy, and I’m strangely compelled to agree with their assessment.
Not only that, 4woods are offering custom nail art for any model of silicone poppet that you wish to order: French nails, which would be a French manicure; Glitter nails, which are… glitter nails; and Colorful nails, which are great, should you wish to saddle your poor unfortunate Doll with a ridiculous candy kid look, thereby guaranteeing that she’ll never get a proper job, and she’ll probably end her days strung out on meth.
See? She already has a glazed look in her eyes from too many disco biscuits
Furthermore, they’ve got a new page flogging enticing lingerie, wigs, jewelry, boots, stands for extra heads, and suchlike in their Doll Accessories store, which is, quote, ‘Costumes and other accessories you must have to love your doll’. I love that — you must have them, otherwise loving your Doll will be patently impossible! Fact.
+ It seems that another new Doll manufacturer is stepping up to the silicone plate! This is always good news, of course, but this will particularly please iDollators who happen to live in the European Union. Behold: Dreamdoll Creation.
Swan finally levels up to Capo in ‘Mafia wars’
Soria gets her rubbery jubbelys out for the camera
Tania proves that not all the Dreamdoll creation models have short hair
The company will aim for selling four body types, all 5’8″, 101.5 lbs, with busts that range from 35 B to 35 E/F, at the heart-stopping, finance-destroying price of EUR €6,990.00, or roughly $10,200 USD. But can you truly put a price on love?
+ So have you noticed that Miim-chan (the Gynoid formerly known as HRP-4C) has been increasing her presence as of late? She’s everywhere these days! Back in September, she put in an appearance at the 2009 Robofes in Toyama, answering questions from the press in her own inimitable fashion.
[AIST] also brought along their famous HRP-2 Promet humanoid and compared them side by side, which really shows off the incredible advances made between late 2002 and 2009. At one point during the demonstration, the presenter asked HRP-4C, “How tall are you?” to which she replies, “158cm.” The presenter then asked, “How much do you weigh?” to which HRP-4C covered her mouth and only whispered the answer, garnering laughter from the crowd. the rest of the article is here
Then in October, she was being automatically sexy at Tokyo’s Digital Content Expo 2009, displaying both her motion and acting skills.
O, mercy
Finally, her appearance at this year’s CEATAC JAPAN featured three performances of her singing, using Yamaha’s Vocaloid synthesiser software; in two of them, she was either cosplaying as Miku Hatsune or Megpoid, who would be two of the music programme’s mascots and virtual idol singers. If that wasn’t fab enough, Miim-chan was taking song requests through the use of an iPhone application. I suppose the iPhone has some use after all, then!
Although Miim sings along with the self-playing piano in a highly expressive manner at the demonstration, this humanoid robot can also move her entire body using approximately thirty integrated joints. In strictly technical terms, therefore, she is apparently already in possession of all she needs to move her hands and legs rhythmically in time with the music. taken from this site
Sure, she’s no Sylvie Vartan, but as I always say in these cases, you have to crawl before you walk — just think of how scintillating her singing voice will be in a few short years! Nevertheless, an impressive showing from everyone’s favourite Gynoid (until the next favourite Gynoid is built)…
And wow, it turns out that she made the cover of the October issue of ROBOCON Magazine as well! This just proves that it’s Miim-chan’s world; we just live in it.
+ He’s probably gonna kill me for mentioning this in a public venue, but one of my ex-roommates, spotted here and there on ‘Shouting etc etc’ as zszsz, once tore through 30 +/- different jobs during the course of a single year. I think Kobalab‘s Android SAYA is coming up on his heels rather quickly. She’s been a receptionist in both Japan and Israel, as well as a schoolteacher. This time, her latest temp assignment would be a stint in Japan’s Takashimaya department store, which she did from 14 – 18 October. So how was that paycheque, babe?
‘Excuse me, Saya-san? Do you know Actroid-san? I’ve always wanted to meet her! I love her work, and… say, what’s with that frown?’
Although she responded appropriately most of the time, the cyber-receptionist occasionally seemed to misunderstand what people said. For example, one person complimented Saya by saying, “You are pretty,” but the robot flashed a look of disdain and responded with, “Are you crazy?” the rest of the article is here
Sooo… probably not that good of a paycheque, then.
+ Which, of course, leads to news about Hiroshi Ishiguro’s pride and joy, the Actroid series. One of the models, Sara-chan, who was originally at the Aichi World Expo in 2005, was at the Kokoro booth at this year’s iREX at Tokyo Big Sight, demonstrating her company’s latest development:
Would she provide autographs upon request? Hmm
The Human-Type Head Basic assembly kit, which is dedicated for school education. You will be able to assemble it and your feelings will be the finishing touch. Thanks to this kit, students will be able to learn that a combination of simple mechanisms can produce complicated expressions. Thanks to the Pneumatic equipment, they will have the chance to learn how to use an air cylinder, or to study “link mechanism” (a mechanism to convert the linear movement of cylinders into the rotation movement such as open/close of the jaw) by assembling the real kit. the rest of the article is here
I can’t remember where I’d read it, but the kit is supposed to be reasonably-priced as well.
!!! *suddenly grabbing you by the lapels* Do you realise what this means?? If you were to combine that Human-type Head kit with, say, one of the Dolls pictured above, then…
HOLLYWOOD was right, robots are going to take over the world.
But we might as well lie back and think of the invasion because it’s going to be pleasurable, says a leading robot scientist.
Ever since Gort clomped down those alien stairs in The Day The Earth Stood Still in 1951, cinemas have been overrun by robots – sometimes cute, but mostly evil and mostly intent on taking over the world. […] But if you listen to US robotics scientist Professor Rodney Brooks, robots of the future are more likely to be dominatrix than dominating. […] Australian-born Prof Brooks, former head of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Lab, said it was inevitable, and there was precedent, that such technology would be used for sexual purposes.
“Every technology that we’ve had, there has been a sexual driver of it,” said the professor, a founder and former chief technical officer of lucrative US company iRobot, which produces commercial robots.
“I mean, that’s certainly true of photographs in the 19th century; and home video players were really driven by sex; and of course the web has been a major source of sex.
“Yeah, there will be (sexbots) but it is not specific to robots per se.” the rest of the article is here
It’s like they say — the military-industrial complex produces technology, which then trickles down into the consumer market, and the sex industry makes it popular. During the course of our careers of being interviewed, filmed, and the like, Shi-chan and I have always been trying to steer common opinion away from the idea that artificial companions are strictly for sexual purposes, but sex is an interest-raising topic, as nearly everyone enjoys it, or is at the very least, curious about it. If people’s interest in sex drives them to fund research and development for Synthetiks, then so much the better…
As an aside, according to Pink Tentacle, Android SAYA had a booth at iREX as well! You have to wonder if she was soliciting potential employers, the poor dear.
+ In this, the first decade of the twenty-first century, it’s good to see that the concept of artificial human companions is on a lot of people’s minds — from scientists who are trying to make the idea into reality, and from insightful filmmakers who depict how a society with such creations in it might be. Milkman Films‘ ‘Android Love’ gives us a glimpse of the latter.
Although I do have to point out that I’m sure Rick Deckard will want his necktie back, and the white room at the end of the Stargate in ‘2001: a space odyssey’ is now missing its floor…
+ And finally, HOLY CRAPS QUICK SOMEONE GIVE ME USD $225,000 RIGHT NAO
TOKYO — Department store chain operator Sogo & Seibu Co said Friday it will offer two robots made to look like the people who buy them as a special sales event for the new year. The look-alike robots, which will be produced by robot maker Kokoro Co, will sell for 20.1 million yen each, Sogo & Seibu said.
The robots are made of silicone and can move the upper half of their body as they are in a sitting position. Sogo & Seibu will accept orders at most of its 28 outlets for two days from Jan. 2, and for three days from New Year’s Day at the others. If there are three or more orders, buyers will be chosen by lot. Humanoid robots, made by Kokoro, were used at the Aichi Expo in 2005 in Aichi Prefecture to help direct people to specific locations and events.
It should be shockingly obvious, but the robot wouldn’t be a replica of me, of course. Isn’t that right, Sidore? *sly wink to camera*
So there you have it! That’s literally three months’ worth of news in one post! And all told, it still doesn’t cover everything.
Guess that means you’ll be seeking more news about lovely rubber-skinned Synthetik women in January, eh? More than likely!
