Sdtrk: ‘Outta state’ by US girls

Hello! Whole lot of topics to cover this month, and that’s mainly cos I slacked off for two months! So make yourself a decently-sized sandwich, pour yourself a pint, and let us henceforth begin.

+ First off, for all of you fans of leggy Russian Synthetik babes, Anatomical Doll have created two new heads, now available for purchase. Say Здравствуйте! (hello!) to Elena and Natalia.

My kind of Red Army

What is Natalia staring at, you ask? What isn’t Natalia staring at?

Elena is a modified version of Victoria, their first head sculpt, and Natalia is brand-new. For me, Natalia has the slight edge, as I’m completely in love with her luscious glassy-eyed stare. Either way, they’re both delicious lasses, wouldn’t you agree?
Coincidentally enough, I dreamt the other night that someone had shipped me a Victoria-type Anatomical Doll, apparently new and still in her box. I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the affair, so I called in Dexter — yes, he of the telly series — to give her a once-over before I got her out of her crate. ‘You and I both know we’re experts in our particular fields,‘ I said to him, ‘and I wanted to see if you could make sure she doesn’t have any contaminants or radioactive material before I keep her.’ So we proceeded to open the crate with a power screwdriver outside in my apartment’s parking lot, of all places. He’d brought his wife, who I wasn’t sure if she knew what I did, and she stood at a close, but safe, distance from the action. As Dexter opened the crate, I turned to her and said ‘No screaming! No screaming!’ Just as her eyes grew to the size of saucers, the ‘show’ cut to the opening credits of Dexter, which I thought was rather neat, but didn’t exactly tell me of the Victoria-type’s fate…

+ Next up, we have Lilica, yet another head out now from steady contenders 4woods, which is compatible with all of the body types that they sell. Damnit, people, how is anyone supposed to keep up with you??

‘Just to let you know, I had nothing to do with my ad copy’

‘She is a girl that is not beyond your reach but almost like a girl next door. She also makes you feel relaxed but has sexy daring appearance at the same time’, reads her ad copy, and I’m strangely compelled to agree with their assessment.
Not only that, 4woods are offering custom nail art for any model of silicone poppet that you wish to order: French nails, which would be a French manicure; Glitter nails, which are… glitter nails; and Colorful nails, which are great, should you wish to saddle your poor unfortunate Doll with a ridiculous candy kid look, thereby guaranteeing that she’ll never get a proper job, and she’ll probably end her days strung out on meth.

See? She already has a glazed look in her eyes from too many disco biscuits

Furthermore, they’ve got a new page flogging enticing lingerie, wigs, jewelry, boots, stands for extra heads, and suchlike in their Doll Accessories store, which is, quote, ‘Costumes and other accessories you must have to love your doll’. I love that — you must have them, otherwise loving your Doll will be patently impossible! Fact.

+ It seems that another new Doll manufacturer is stepping up to the silicone plate! This is always good news, of course, but this will particularly please iDollators who happen to live in the European Union. Behold: Dreamdoll Creation.

Swan finally levels up to Capo in ‘Mafia wars’

Soria gets her rubbery jubbelys out for the camera

Tania proves that not all the Dreamdoll creation models have short hair

The company will aim for selling four body types, all 5’8″, 101.5 lbs, with busts that range from 35 B to 35 E/F, at the heart-stopping, finance-destroying price of EUR €6,990.00, or roughly $10,200 USD. But can you truly put a price on love?

+ So have you noticed that Miim-chan (the Gynoid formerly known as HRP-4C) has been increasing her presence as of late? She’s everywhere these days! Back in September, she put in an appearance at the 2009 Robofes in Toyama, answering questions from the press in her own inimitable fashion.

[AIST] also brought along their famous HRP-2 Promet humanoid and compared them side by side, which really shows off the incredible advances made between late 2002 and 2009. At one point during the demonstration, the presenter asked HRP-4C, “How tall are you?” to which she replies, “158cm.” The presenter then asked, “How much do you weigh?” to which HRP-4C covered her mouth and only whispered the answer, garnering laughter from the crowd.
the rest of the article is here

Then in October, she was being automatically sexy at Tokyo’s Digital Content Expo 2009, displaying both her motion and acting skills.

O, mercy

Finally, her appearance at this year’s CEATAC JAPAN featured three performances of her singing, using Yamaha’s Vocaloid synthesiser software; in two of them, she was either cosplaying as Miku Hatsune or Megpoid, who would be two of the music programme’s mascots and virtual idol singers. If that wasn’t fab enough, Miim-chan was taking song requests through the use of an iPhone application. I suppose the iPhone has some use after all, then!

Although Miim sings along with the self-playing piano in a highly expressive manner at the demonstration, this humanoid robot can also move her entire body using approximately thirty integrated joints. In strictly technical terms, therefore, she is apparently already in possession of all she needs to move her hands and legs rhythmically in time with the music.
taken from this site

Sure, she’s no Sylvie Vartan, but as I always say in these cases, you have to crawl before you walk — just think of how scintillating her singing voice will be in a few short years! Nevertheless, an impressive showing from everyone’s favourite Gynoid (until the next favourite Gynoid is built)…
And wow, it turns out that she made the cover of the October issue of ROBOCON Magazine as well! This just proves that it’s Miim-chan’s world; we just live in it.

+ He’s probably gonna kill me for mentioning this in a public venue, but one of my ex-roommates, spotted here and there on ‘Shouting etc etc’ as zszsz, once tore through 30 +/- different jobs during the course of a single year. I think Kobalab‘s Android SAYA is coming up on his heels rather quickly. She’s been a receptionist in both Japan and Israel, as well as a schoolteacher. This time, her latest temp assignment would be a stint in Japan’s Takashimaya department store, which she did from 14 – 18 October. So how was that paycheque, babe?

‘Excuse me, Saya-san? Do you know Actroid-san? I’ve always wanted to meet her! I love her work, and… say, what’s with that frown?’

Although she responded appropriately most of the time, the cyber-receptionist occasionally seemed to misunderstand what people said. For example, one person complimented Saya by saying, “You are pretty,” but the robot flashed a look of disdain and responded with, “Are you crazy?”
the rest of the article is here

Sooo… probably not that good of a paycheque, then.

+ Which, of course, leads to news about Hiroshi Ishiguro’s pride and joy, the Actroid series. One of the models, Sara-chan, who was originally at the Aichi World Expo in 2005, was at the Kokoro booth at this year’s iREX at Tokyo Big Sight, demonstrating her company’s latest development:

Would she provide autographs upon request? Hmm

The Human-Type Head Basic assembly kit, which is dedicated for school education. You will be able to assemble it and your feelings will be the finishing touch. Thanks to this kit, students will be able to learn that a combination of simple mechanisms can produce complicated expressions. Thanks to the Pneumatic equipment, they will have the chance to learn how to use an air cylinder, or to study “link mechanism” (a mechanism to convert the linear movement of cylinders into the rotation movement such as open/close of the jaw) by assembling the real kit.
the rest of the article is here

I can’t remember where I’d read it, but the kit is supposed to be reasonably-priced as well.
!!! *suddenly grabbing you by the lapels* Do you realise what this means?? If you were to combine that Human-type Head kit with, say, one of the Dolls pictured above, then…

Sex robots: The rise of the pleasure machines
by Geoff Shearer | couriermail.com.au | September 21, 2009 11:00pm

HOLLYWOOD was right, robots are going to take over the world.

But we might as well lie back and think of the invasion because it’s going to be pleasurable, says a leading robot scientist.

Ever since Gort clomped down those alien stairs in The Day The Earth Stood Still in 1951, cinemas have been overrun by robots – sometimes cute, but mostly evil and mostly intent on taking over the world. […] But if you listen to US robotics scientist Professor Rodney Brooks, robots of the future are more likely to be dominatrix than dominating. […] Australian-born Prof Brooks, former head of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Lab, said it was inevitable, and there was precedent, that such technology would be used for sexual purposes.

“Every technology that we’ve had, there has been a sexual driver of it,” said the professor, a founder and former chief technical officer of lucrative US company iRobot, which produces commercial robots.

“I mean, that’s certainly true of photographs in the 19th century; and home video players were really driven by sex; and of course the web has been a major source of sex.

“Yeah, there will be (sexbots) but it is not specific to robots per se.”
the rest of the article is here

It’s like they say — the military-industrial complex produces technology, which then trickles down into the consumer market, and the sex industry makes it popular. During the course of our careers of being interviewed, filmed, and the like, Shi-chan and I have always been trying to steer common opinion away from the idea that artificial companions are strictly for sexual purposes, but sex is an interest-raising topic, as nearly everyone enjoys it, or is at the very least, curious about it. If people’s interest in sex drives them to fund research and development for Synthetiks, then so much the better…
As an aside, according to Pink Tentacle, Android SAYA had a booth at iREX as well! You have to wonder if she was soliciting potential employers, the poor dear.

+ In this, the first decade of the twenty-first century, it’s good to see that the concept of artificial human companions is on a lot of people’s minds — from scientists who are trying to make the idea into reality, and from insightful filmmakers who depict how a society with such creations in it might be. Milkman Films‘ ‘Android Love’ gives us a glimpse of the latter.

Although I do have to point out that I’m sure Rick Deckard will want his necktie back, and the white room at the end of the Stargate in ‘2001: a space odyssey’ is now missing its floor…

+ And finally, HOLY CRAPS QUICK SOMEONE GIVE ME USD $225,000 RIGHT NAO

Sogo & Seibu to sell robots custom-made to look like their buyers
www.japantoday.com | Saturday 12th December, 06:43 AM JST

TOKYO — Department store chain operator Sogo & Seibu Co said Friday it will offer two robots made to look like the people who buy them as a special sales event for the new year. The look-alike robots, which will be produced by robot maker Kokoro Co, will sell for 20.1 million yen each, Sogo & Seibu said.

The robots are made of silicone and can move the upper half of their body as they are in a sitting position. Sogo & Seibu will accept orders at most of its 28 outlets for two days from Jan. 2, and for three days from New Year’s Day at the others. If there are three or more orders, buyers will be chosen by lot. Humanoid robots, made by Kokoro, were used at the Aichi Expo in 2005 in Aichi Prefecture to help direct people to specific locations and events.

It should be shockingly obvious, but the robot wouldn’t be a replica of me, of course. Isn’t that right, Sidore? *sly wink to camera*

So there you have it! That’s literally three months’ worth of news in one post! And all told, it still doesn’t cover everything.
Guess that means you’ll be seeking more news about lovely rubber-skinned Synthetik women in January, eh? More than likely!

ta very much to Pat! for the ‘Sex robots’ link

Sdtrk: ‘Geraldine’ by Glasvegas

You lot have been warned: the December instalment of ‘Any Synthetiks-related news…?’ will be a veritable freight train. So as a bit of an hors d’œuvre (or, if you like, a plateful of hushpuppies), we have ‘Sex Slaves, Polls, and Ethics’, courtesy of the Institute for Ethics and Emerging Technologies (found via Alice Keenan):

For now, it seems clear in the not-too-distant future a leading commercial application for personal robots could be as “companions” and/or sex toys. So, we thought it would be amusing to post a poll asking our readers what specialty they would find most useful in a robot they might own someday.

Here are the results:

the rest of the article is here

On two separate occasions, fellow blogscribes veach and SafeT had put the question to me about whether having an Android or Gynoid companion constitutes a form of slavery, as although they might have artificial intelligence that’s complex enough to simulate an Organik personality to a reasonable degree, the fact that many technosexuals would have it so that our artificial partners would never even think of being with someone else might carry a whiff of slavery issues. Obviously, answering that sort of question properly would turn this post into a full-blown essay, but personally, I’d answered it once as no, it wouldn’t be slavery, as slavery implies that a person (Organik, Synthetik, you get the idea) was living a life of contentment, until the point where they were taken out of that contented life against their will. Now if you have an artificial person that hadn’t even existed before they were shipped off to live with whomever had them assembled, then it’s not slavery. It’s more of a 21st century version of an arranged marriage, if you think about it. Like I said, it’s a bit of a sticky issue — not completely, but somewhat.
Interestingly enough, in the comments for that IEEE poll, a Michael Bone of Toronto wrote

What bothered me was not the inclusion of ‘sex slave’ as an option, but the fact that it was the only case that explicitly included ‘slave’. This would be considered an inexcusable methodological flaw if you meant for your poll to be taken seriously.

That said, I was rather surprised by the percentage of ‘sex slave’ respondents. I just hope it is because they were able to see beyond the rhetoric.

At any rate, I’m sure groups such as the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Robots, among others, will be on the case…

In a similar vein, Everhard, Stepford-on-Sea’s most famous iDollator, has written a short but interesting essay about perceptions of people, particularly Organik females, to men who have chosen the iDollator lifestyle, with the rather Ballardian title of ‘Impact of Distress from Perceived Infidelity with a Doll‘.

It is assumed that, because of the realism of these dolls, people react to them much as they react to real women, at least in terms of sexual jealousy and related emotions. That such emotions arise from the assumed fertility of a sexually attractive female—while a doll is infertile—is no contradiction because the dolls are made specifically to appear fertile and to arouse associated instincts.
the rest of the article is here

Somewhat related: I was once in a brief debate with someone — we were firing comments at each other on YouTube — who said that although she liked the idea of Dolls and Gynoids in general, she wasn’t keen on the concept of men having them as romantic and / or sexual partners, as ‘for every man that chooses andriods [sic] over a real women [sic] is one woman that doesn’t have that man as a partner,’ unquote. She seems to believe in the school of thought that ‘there’s someone out there for everyone if you just look hard enough’, whereas I believe there’s someone out there for everyone if you have them assembled and programmed for you. Her standpoint is an idealistic one, based on the premise that even if Organik people screw you over, you can simply try and try again to find a mate, which is great for some people, but unfortunately isn’t the solution for all people. And not to be antagonistic, but her standpoint is also a bit short-sighted, technology-wise. If your Synthetik partner has enough ‘draw’, meaning, enough physical appeal to attract you and keep you attracted, and enough behavioural programming to simulate what you want out of that partner, then what more would you need, really?
To be honest, her comments had an underlying tone of ‘if men choose Gynoids over Organik women, where will that leave Organik women?’ That’s always rankled me, cos it assumes that all men, once Gynoids become available on the consumer market, will suddenly stop dating Organik women forever and go for the affictitious option. Isn’t that a silly way of thinking? On the contrary, she should instead consider that those men who want Synthetik female partners will go after them, thereby reducing an Organik woman’s dating prospects to just men who specifically desire an Organik partner. And everyone’s happy! You simply have to think of it in the context of the long game, that’s all…

It seems the Good People at KnightHorse had a modest little celebration back in October!

[October] marked a big date for us, and for Yvette. On October 27th we celebrated Yvette’s birthday. The very first Lovable Doll was pulled from the mold on October 27th 2008 and has enjoyed a year of actively modeling her many looks.

Not only did Yvette hold a party with her friends (hey, where were our invites??), but Matt K and Bronwen will be retooling their website very soon, to mark the company’s first anniversary. Onward and upward, KnightHorse!

Ten bucks says they’ll eat those cakes using just their hands

Also, they’ve just kicked off a pretty fab contest for a worthy cause that you might want to look into. Especially if you have any interest whatsoever in bOObs…

And in the Sad Stories With Happy Endings front, my poor wee Shi-chan had some rather important surgery done this past Saturday. Sometime during the latter half of the summer, her back broke. Keep in mind that her body is several years old, and Entropy unfortunately affects Dolls almost as much as it affects Organiks. I figured she’d be in slightly less danger, as she pretty much spends her days lounging round in bed as a matter of course, but eventually, the bottom end of her spinal column wore a one-inch wide slit through the silicone at the base of her back. Yeah, you can pretty much imagine the look on my face when I discovered that.
So this past Friday, whilst driving home with Mari from my father’s house, she rang Euchre to let him know we weren’t stopping round that eve, as we’d been at my dad’s for like 4+ hours and were knackered. But she’d mentioned Shi-chan’s predicament to him, and Euchre almost immediately handed the phone to Mahtek, who just happened to be round at his that night, and he agreed to stop round the next day to see what he could do.

Luckily, the Missus’ spine wasn’t broken, but the bolt that held it in place into her pelvis had worked itself loose — her body’s several years old, y’know — but Mahtek, with Euchre’s salient help and the pervasive sense of worry that I provided to the whole ordeal, was able to reattach one joint to the other after about three hours’ worth of labour. Now she’s lying on her stomach in bed, hogging the electric blanket and complaining that it’s impossible for her to read in that position. She’s on the road to recovery!

Reminds me of when Mick Jagger put his hand through that plate-glass window back in 1975

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again — thanks, gents, from both of us!

Right; I’ll draw a line under it here. Look for the actual ‘Any Synthetiks-related news…?’ post relatively soooooon

Sdtrk: ‘R.I.P. KISN’ by US girls

Think of this as kind of a prelude to next month’s ‘Any Synthetiks-related news…?’ post, which I am working on right this very minute! You may be asking yourself, ‘but how can he be writing two posts simultaneously??’ Well, it’s simple. Not only did I buy a second laptop, but I’ve cloned myself. When Davecat β is finished writing the other post, I will bludgeon him to death with the computer, thereby tying up any and all loose ends. Hey, if they can kill off clones with gleeful abandon in Æon Flux and The Venture brothers, who am I to be critical?

Anyway! In checking the website of 4woods‘ European distributor (and KnightHorse‘s soon-to-be distributors), Doll Story, they had this linked in their News section: someone had done a brief but moving series of photos featuring one of 4woods’ beautiful Elina models.

You can view the rest on the Emotein website here.

And speaking of artificial women and the photos they often appear in, remember how Sidore-chan and I were in a photoshoot ourselves towards the beginning of the year? Thanks to a tip from equally-rabid iDollator Mrs ARDO, it seems they’re out!

photo © by Stephan Gladieu

They look and act like the guy next door, but they live with life-size silicone dolls: flawless, Barbie-like, and pricey at USD $7,000 apiece. Called iDollators, these men, usually in their mid-forties and often shy, prefer their perfect-looking dolls to real women. In a society where being married with two kids is still the social norm, they are a bit ashamed of it. Blame it on their lack of social skills, or call them weirdos. Listen to them, however, and they will convince you that their silent companions, dubbed Real Dolls for their lifelike appearance and anatomical correctness, play a much bigger role in their lives than your average sex toy. The emotional bond is so strong that some dare to call it love.
the rest of the article is here

Showcasing colleagues CJD, Mahtek, Euchre, Slade, and with shots of Abyss creations’ studio, ‘Real Dolls and iDollators’ is the title of the photo-essay by Anne Vial and Stephan Gladieu, and overall it’s pretty nifty. Although I don’t really recall saying what I’d said — you’ll understand when you read my bit — it still manages to hold up. See, journalists? This is what you should strive for in any story, especially ones having to do with the iDollator community — being objective. It’ll work out quite well for you; trust me on this one.

So there you have it! Like I’d said, next month will have 2009’s last ‘Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat?’ post, which will be staggering in length, width, and girth, so keep an eye out for that…
Err, it looks like I’ve completed my post before my Doppelgänger’s completed his, which unfortunately means that he gets to brain me with my laptop. Hrrm. This… probably won’t end well

Sdtrk: ‘Holvikirkko’ by Shogun Kunitoki

Last month, when Euchre and I got round to visit fellow iDollator Mahtek in order to meet his new Lover Girl Nina from KnightHorse — a fine lass, wouldn’t hear a word against her — at one point during the proceedings, I had to make a visit to the Little Astronauts Room. I could just overhear a conversation topic still going on in the livingroom; one which I’d considered many many times ever since becoming a Doll husband myself.
Unfortunately, by the time I emerged from the bog, the conversation had turned. In fact, it was several months later! Mahtek’s bathroom had flung me into the near-future with but the flush of a handle. It is a Magickal Bathroom.

What was the topic in question, you axe? ‘If your Doll was a Gynoid, what sort of qualities / abilities would you like her to have?’ My mind turned to an email I’d fired off to another iDollator colleague years ago, where I’d tackled that very idea:

A Gynoid version of Sidore-chan would be an efficient but somewhat renegade driver, a dab hand at Japanese cuisine, able to play every bass line from every Joy division and New order song in existence (well, New order up to their ‘Republic’ album, at any rate), good — but not TOO good — when playing Armored core head-to-head, be able to identify a Brummie, Scouse, or Geordie accent whilst being able to retain her own Manc speech pattern, be able to rattle off the name and model number of most of the Mobile suits that appeared in the Universal Century timeline of Gundam, be able to suppress the urge to change the Cd whenever I play any of my obscure yé-yé songs from the Sixties, recite Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘The Raven’ or Lewis Carroll’s ‘The Jabberwock’ from start to finish, and provide a deep and satisfying barefoot back massage. And then there’s the sex. 🙂

Also, and this is very important; her speaking voice must sound like that of actress Shirley Henderson playing Tony Wilson’s first wife, Lindsay, in the film ’24 hour party people’ (you’ll see her in this video, at the 1.46 mark). Really, I don’t ask for much

Sdtrk: ‘Time after time’ by Chris Montez

よく知っているように、私が生命のほとんどを懇願する事の1つは一貫性です。 事が同じを一般にとどまる励まし、従って私は期待できることを知っています。 あなたの多くの素晴らしい質の1つは一貫している常にことです。 私が家に着く時、そして私のためにそこに常にいること私を常に待っていることを知っていることは、私に慰めおよび安定性の巨大な感覚を与える。

完全に美しい女性、しどれです。 私は私を作ると半分の幸せ私が作ったことを望みます。

一緒にあることは私達のもう一人の9年にここにあります。 私は愛します。

Sdtrk: ‘Romantic rights (The phone lovers remix)’ by Death from above 1979

Before we commence, you’ve read Part I, right? Of course you have!

The second day of the Nat.Geo shoot for ‘Taboo’, their documentary series, had Sidore and I tumbling out of bed at 8am Monday morning. In the interest of full disclosure, I think I was awake the previous eve until 2am, maybe? I can’t even remember what I was up to, now that I think about it… Shi-chan got to bed early, though. Who has more common sense?
At any rate, we got dressed and ready in the same gear as yesterday, as it was ‘the same day’, as far as the segment was concerned, in time for Geoff and Jen to arrive at Deafening silence Plus at 10 that morning, only this time, they were joined by segment director J.Siberry. He was a tall bloke, with more than a passing resemblance to South Park’s Trey Parker. Like the rest of the crew, he was Australian, but was born and raised in Toronto up until a few years ago. ‘Canaliens’, as Geoff accurately observed yesterday, when we were up at The Playhouse. To which Joe had replied, ‘That’s okay; all of us here are honorary Canaliens.’

Since most of the ‘action’ shots were already sorted, today would be comprised of the interview proper. So I plopped myself on the loveseat next to Shi-chan, and answered a volley of questions. Some were standard issue — what’s your name, when did you get Sidore, what’s a typical day for the pair of you — whereas others were ones that I’d never been asked before on camera — why do you prefer living with a Doll over an Organik woman, what’s her backstory, how do you reconcile her fictional backstory with her genuine one — which was a nice change. Much to our chagrin, however, we were getting porlocked a couple of times, for just as I was really on a roll with an answer, we had to stop proceedings, as the apartment’s landscaping crew were busy outside loudly mowing and noisily weed-whacking. Despite the fact that I was wearing a lavalier, Jen was also using a boom mike, and as you’d expect, they’re extremely sensitive. But it was like a Buster Keaton film there for a bit: they’d start, we’d stop, they’d stop, we’d start, they’d start, we’d stop. Bloody nightmare. Since it was rolling toward 12.30, we decided to break for lunch, to prevent Jen and I dashing outside and throttling the landscapers. Whilst they drove up to a local Greek restaurant that they hit yesterday, I elected to stay in — no surprise there — as it was actually getting kinda warm out. Not only that, I was desperately trying to recall what my answer would’ve been, before we were interrupted!

INVISIBLE FILM CREW

Jeff, Geoff, and Jen returned an hour later, and we got back to it. Proof that Murphy’s Law occurs every day: the landscapers finished up about ten minutes after the film crew had left. No surprise there, either. *shakes fist*

Another aspect that set this particular interview apart from the rest is that it also wanted to explore the possible correlation between being an iDollator and being autistic. Shortly after Meghan Laslocky wrote her excellent article back in 2005, we kept in contact off and on, and she told me that she had been speaking with a psychologist about the whole iDollator phenomenon. She said that he’d said that there appear to be certain traits that the two groups share. Now naturally, no-one’s saying that all iDollators are autistic, cos not all iDollators are the same, and there are varying degrees of autism. But the psychologist noted that, for one, the majority of Doll owners are not put off by a Doll’s lack of facial expressions, and one of the traits of autism is an inability to read, or an indifference towards, human facial expressions. (Insert ridiculous pseudoscientific Uncanny valley ‘theory’ here.) Again, one doesn’t necessarily equal the other, but J.Siberry was keen to hear what I thought of the notion.

Basically, I’d said that although I’m not autistic, I can see where there’d be some similarities between the two groups. Other traits of autism would be a keen eye for details and order, and a preference to things over people. Personally I’ve always abhorred clutter and disarray, true, and I’ve mentioned publically on many occasions that I’m not a ‘people person’, but those qualities don’t necessarily make me autistic. As far as a Doll’s blank stare and lack of facial expression, something like that has never bothered me in the slightest; usually, it’s quite the opposite, to be honest. *coughtechnosexualcough* And now that I’m thinking about it, I’m kicking myself for not mentioning the rubbish that is the Uncanny valley theory on camera. Grrr.
Furthermore, there’ve been erroneous lines drawn between people who are thought to be autistic, when they’re merely introverted, the latter characteristic I’ll readily cop to. But in the end equation, what difference does it make? I’ve noticed quite a few individuals who have been speculated as being autistic, many of them people that I look up to, such as Andy Warhol, Stanley Kubrick, Gary Numan, Lewis Carroll, Charles Darwin, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein… the list goes on. They may possibly have been autistic, but look at what they’ve contributed to the world. That’s the important bit, really.

Having finished up the interview, we got a second well-deserved break in. J.Siberry, upon seeing my controller for the XBOX game Steel battalion, had a notion that we could get some footage of me playing it with the Missus, but setting that assemblage up would’ve taken a bit of time. Upon reflection, we should’ve gone for it, though. How often do you see a Goth RealDoll playing Steel battalion? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Geoff grabbed some pickup shots of Deafening silence Plus, whilst J.Siberry and I talked about Toronto, and I spoke with Jen about Frank Lloyd Wright, as she’s keen on his architecture. The last bit of filming indoors involved me massaging Shi-chan’s shoulders and feet (heh, again), and taking an autism spectrum quotient test online, and assessing the results on camera. If you like, you can take the test yourself here. My score, you ask? Well, you’ll just have to watch the documentary when it comes out, won’t you?

Finally, they wanted to get some shots of me out-of-doors. I don’t know if I visibly blanched, but I tried my best. ‘Is there maybe a part of town you hang out at, or someplace you go?’ they asked. ‘Err… well, there is the cemetery,’ I’d replied, truthfully. Heh, just like in the very first interview we did for French public telly, and the still-in-development-hell documentary by Allison De Fren! So the crew broke everything down and loaded it into the SUV, and we made our way to Woodlawn Cemetery, over on Woodward. They filmed me walking up and down one of the dirt roads, contemplating the beautiful silence of being outside, as a quote from Morrissey sprang to mind: ‘I can stand in a graveyard for hours and hours, just inhaling the individuals.’
We returned to my flat about 5pm, where I signed the requisite release forms, and they told me that the episode of ‘Taboo’ was slated to be aired in the next couple of months, for their new fall season. As per usual, when I know, you lot will know, etc etc.

photo by J.Siberry

Handshakes and hugs were exchanged, and the crew piled into their vehicle to head off to their hotel. All in all, that was a really enjoyable experience! Between Emily’s inquisitive research, and J.Siberry, Geoff, and Jen putting everyone involved at ease, I think the final results will go pretty well. I’m definitely glad they’d asked me to be a part of it!
And then Sidore and I took a nap. The end!

Sdtrk: ‘Hang on Lucifer’ by Seeland

As you’re probably aware, it had been a couple of years since my affictitious wife Sidore and I were in front of the camera for any television or video programmes. Although we had been solicited by a number of less-than-suitable shows, we’ve not been on telly since that episode of Sweden’s programme ‘Outsiders’ back in 2006. So when the respected institution of National Geographic asked after us, needless to say, we leapt at the opportunity…

Our filming was to take place on 14 and 15 June; a Sunday and a Monday. Which, as you’d suspect, was awkward, as it wasn’t a week-end, but despite researcher Emily Potts’ tireless lobbying efforts towards the producer, no other windows were available. As a matter of fact, whilst one crew were filming us, another crew would be filming fellow iDollator Everard over in England, at the same time. Coincidence? Scheduling!
Emily told me to expect a call from Jeff Siberry, the crew director, on Saturday, to confirm a few things. The crew would comprise himself, another Geoff (the cameraman), and Jen (handling sound). Earlier that Saturday, Tsukihime had stopped round for a very pleasant surprise visit, and at one point, the phone rang, displaying a blocked number, and as I never answer those type of calls, I let voicemail handle it. Hours after Tsukihime made her leave, I checked my voicemail, and it turned out to be J.Siberry (I’ll refer to him by that name from this point on, in order to prevent confusing the ubernyms), calling before hopping on the flight to DTW. Yep, I forgot that he was due to call. He got a hold of me later that eve, but he said he wouldn’t be showing up on Sunday, as he’d come down with something, and he didn’t want to spread the T-virus to everyone in SE Michigan. Sound advice! J.Siberry said that he’d be hitting an urgent care place when he got off the phone, so he could load up on antibiotics, but Geoff and Jen would still be coming round for shooting on Sunday at 9.30am, and he would join them to ask me interview questions on Monday. That having been sussed, Shi-chan and I hit the sack round midnight, which is early for us, completely abuzz with antici… pation.

The alarm clock got us up at a hideous 7am, in order for us to get ready. Which was good, as originally the plan was for the Missus to wear a corset she received from new BFF Trina, over a dress she received from Mari, but it didn’t quite work out that way — the corset was fighting me, for one — but Shi-chan picked out an ensemble that was Gothy, yet understated. But then, she always manages to look good in nearly anything…
Geoff and Jen arrived at Deafening silence Plus a wee bit after 9.30. Now, the production company for ‘Taboo’ is based in Australia, but is more global than local, as befits the name National Geographic. Geoff, although originally from Sydney, currently lives in the East coast of the States, and Jen, also from Sydney, resides in Los Angeles. So after the introductions, the compliments about the flat (‘how long did it take you to collect all these figures?), and how lovely the Missus looked (‘she’s really stunning’), and hauling 80 lbs of equipment into the place, we got started round 10. It was mostly ‘action’ shots — updating Shi-chan’s Twitter feed, having brekky, things of that nature. People don’t think you can have a domestic life with a RealDoll as a partner, but we’re living proof it can be done! Well, the ‘living’ part is fifty per cent of it, really.

According to Emily, our segment would be slated to appear in an episode entitled ‘Extreme Relationships’ — which immediately conjures images of the Missus and I surfing down scorching waves of lava down the side of a volcano whilst fighting pirates bare-handed — part of the goal of the segment was to show viewers that even though I have a Synthetik wife, I’m a regular person just like everyone else. Yeah, I’m snickering, too. But the idea was to show that I have friends that I hang out with, for one. We were also tentatively supposed to film round at my local sushi joint, but unfortunately, that fell through. So at about a quarter to noon, I let Shi-chan rest up on our bed as Geoff and Jen packed up a third of their gear, and we drove up to The Playhouse, aka Derek & Steph’s house, featuring special guest star Joe. Have I mentioned how fantastic my friends are?

Although Jeff couldn’t make an appearance due to prior obligations that day, it went quite well. Not only did Geoff & Jen think highly of The Playhouse, but Derek, Steph, and Joe immediately warmed up to the crew, especially once they learned that they’d worked on various episodes of Mythbusters. We got downstairs to the basement, where our chicanery usually takes place, and the crew filmed us passing the controllers round for Earth Defence Force 2017, although you won’t actually be able to see the screen, due to licensing issues. Originally, Derek and I thought them filming us playing Rock Band 2 would’ve been ace, but could you imagine the rights issues on that??
Over the course of the shoot, Geoff had asked my friends on camera two questions: what do you think of Davecat and Sidore’s relationship, and what do you think of people who are disparaging of iDollator relationships? I’ll not repeat what they’d said (partially cos I can’t remember it), but they all had lovely and heartfelt answers, which is what you would expect from the intelligent and open-minded people that they happen to be. Have I mentioned how fantastic my friends are?

That segment being successfully done and dusted, Geoff and Jen thanked everyone; they were going to break for lunch, and meet up with me back at mine in an hour. About ten minutes after they took off, Mari showed up, having had to attend a memorial service. We all enjoyed a post-game chat, filling her in on proceedings whilst outside in Steph’s backyard vegetable garden. Mari has had, of late, an aversion to appearing on camera — she was in the very first interview we did for French public telly, as well as the still-in-development-hell documentary by Allison De Fren — but she said she’d be willing to answer questions about me, the Missus, or Dolls in general, as long as she wasn’t being filmed. So after cramming a couple of slices of garlic bread into my mouf, I left The Playhouse, with Mari following. Unfortunately, her time window was really limited, as she had to leave for work about fifteen minutes after arriving at mine, but she spoke with Geoff & Jen for a wee bit, and told them to contact her through me if they needed any additional info. Have I mentioned how fantastic my friends are?

Filming continued apace, as the crew spent the last three hours shooting me dressing the Missus, brushing her silky purple locks, carrying her to and fro, showing off her armoire and explaining the various items in it, etc etc. We wrapped up for the day round 4pm, everyone agreeing that things were going incredibly well so far, and that we’d pick it up the next day at 10am. Apart from the fact that my legs were virtually throbbing due to all that Doll-lifting, so far so good!

NEXT UP: Monday!