Sdtrk: ‘Arthur Cravan’ by Mount Vernon Arts Lab

Just a heads-up: my Texas-based friend Jaems, of int23.com, engaged me in a lengthy phone interview this past Friday, concerning being an iDollator (meeting new and interesting people with an interest in silicone partners), and life with the Missus in general (sometimes there is wrestling involved). Now the results of the interview are presented here, for your edification. For one, I particularly like the title!

How did your roommate react to you bringing Sidore home?

Steve, my other roommate at the time, was really laid-back and open-minded. Initially, when I started raising funds for Shi-chan in earnest, I’d half-jokingly asked if he wanted to contribute. He gave me a single dollar for the ‘I Hope You Don’t Buy A RealDoll Fund’. (laughs)

Give it a look! It’ll be something pleasant to round out the end of your week-end

Sdtrk: ‘Blister’ by Venetian snares

So going from the results of our recent poll, it appears our little toy robot cat finally has a name — you can call him Shironeko.

See how ecstatic he looks? That’s the picture of glee right there

It was a landslide; as of 12.40am Monday morning, that particular name choice garnered twenty votes, versus the ten that Mecha-Moggy 5000 received. I suspect that Shi-chan might have called in some favours from other Dolls…

Our friend Neo did have a point, though, when he remarked ‘I really think the lady of the house gets first dibs as she has to house-sit the cat!’ Yeah yeah, buddy, you and your ‘logic’. *waves hand dismissively*

Thanks very much for your participation! We’re all winners?

Sdtrk: ‘The November men’ by Death in June

Greetings, new readers who’ve arrived at ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’, due to the link provided by Korea Beat! For the record, that post that sent you here? It’s riddled with errors. Riddled. This is what occurs when you use a blender to edit your articles. Let’s go over the highlights with a red pen, shall we?

The Real Dolls, made of a material similar to silicone, really look and feel just like a real person. And at 40 to 50 kilograms they even weigh as much as a woman. They can wear makeup and the more expensive ones can even eat.

Y’know, if I could get Sidore to cook for the pair of us, that would save so much time. Maybe she never learned how cos I never taught her, durr hey?

It is becoming increasingly easy to find men overseas with similar stories. 34-year old Dave of Detroit, in the United States, keeps a blog about his daily life with his Real Doll. They take walks together, eat together, and share secrets in bed just like a real married couple.

I can just see us attempting to do that. Either I’m blithely dragging her along by one arm, or hoisting her onto my back for a ride, and killing the pair of us.
And for the record, that’s Davecat, not Dave. Davecat, Esq. Well, maybe not esquire, but I’m working on it.

Here, the article’s broken up by a couple of pics of Synthetiks who are clearly CandyGirls, and not RealDolls. Another mark for lack of research!

He confessed his feelings about loneliness and the Real Doll. “I was always alone ever since I was a child. I think it was because of my appearance…”

Initially, people could handle my two sets of horns and prehensile tail, but then one Summer, I developed a row of glistening black eyeballs across my forehead. For some bizarre reason, that put people off!

“Suzi (the name of his Real Doll) is the first woman I had sex with and she does everything I want…”

Suzi? SUZI?? How the hell did they parse Sidore into Suzi? Did they just stop translating at the first letter and randomly select a female name that also starts with ‘S’?
And unfortunately Shi-chan (the first Synthetik woman I had sex with, just so you know) doesn’t do everything. She’s categorically refused to allow me to use her as a table or a chair, in the style of Allen Jones, for example.

“my mother, who is deceased, really wanted me to meet a girl but I think she understood that with the doll I’m not so lonely.”

Actually, unless Korea knows something I don’t, mum is above ground, and doing quite well. I spoke with her yesterday, as a matter of fact. No ouija board or scrying-glass was needed!
Also, they may be confusing (or just fusing) me with Everard, whose mother has in fact passed, and has said things to this effect in ‘Guys and Dolls / Love me, love my Doll’.

Men who only date their Real Dolls are mostly people who trouble fitting in to society. Because of their appearance or sexual experiences they live at home, with few friends, let alone a girlfriend, and purchase a Real Doll to solve those problems and have it them be their friends and lovers. On Dave’s blog he once wrote, “our conversations are one-way but even so I feel thankful to her.”

*facepalms* Where do I even begin with this paragraph?? It’s 95% bullshit!
For one, I think that once you have a Doll, you’re not really dating her — you’ve pretty much skipped that whole process entirely.
My favourite bit out of that cavalcade of conjecture though, is that quote I ‘wrote’. Take a moment to plug that phrase into the Search engine of ‘Shouting etc etc’, and see if you can find it. Go on, I’ll wait.
Did you find it? Heh, neither did I.

And the final paragraph,

Many people are unable to understand how they can treat a doll as their girlfriend. But the only way for them not to be that way is for us to understand them. When we understand their feelings there will no longer be dolls in their beds.

Ahh, but what if a person wants a Doll in their bed? Or did I just blow your mind??
A good spur-of-the-moment analogy would be that some people enjoy Coke, and some people like Pepsi. And then, there are those of us who love Dr pepper. There’s not a thing wrong with Dr pepper; it’s simply another type of beverage…

Anyway, you can find the undissected work of fiction-disguised-as-fact here. It’s left me more amused than angry, if nothing else, but there’s so much mistranslation/appropriation/fanciful bollocks that I’m left wondering if this article came from North Korea, and not the southern half. As we all know, North Korea has their own, shall we say, unique, take on reality

Sdtrk: ‘Thieves like us’ by New order

Last year, Burger King offered store-only versions of Tiger Toys’ I-DOG line. Basically, the Burger King ones are substandard versions of the actual I-DOG toys, which are pets that, when you hook your .mp3 player up to them, they flash lights and wave their ears in time with the music, in an unbridled display of whimsy. BK was selling the dog, cat, penguin, and turtle versions. So why is the toy line called I-DOG then, when three-quarters of them aren’t dogs? *shrug*
I’d wanted the cat, naturally, but I missed the window to get one. So you can imagine my glee when I learned that not only would BK have them again this year, but each would have a Hallowe’en theme. Glee, squared!

After weeks of pestering various Burger King employees in the SE Michigan area, I can now proudly announce that I have the i-Cat… and he’s got a robot costume. How appropriate is that?? Actually, I bought the cowboy one day by mistake, and the next day I got the robot, but still.

The Missus’ T-shirt provided by Mr Rstevens of Diesel sweeties Boutique,
in beautiful downtown Burbank, California

Now the quandary is that this lil’ fella needs a name. Sidore suggested ‘Shironeko’, as it’s a pun on her last name, Kuroneko (‘black cat’), with shiro meaning white. ‘O, that’s not pretentious at all,’ I laughed. ‘So what, he’s gonna sit round the place all day, listening to Bauhaus and writing awful poetry?’ I suggested the clearly superior Mecha-Moggy 5000. Shi-chan’s response? ‘That is retarded, and you are retarded.’

This is where you come in, reader! In the spirit of it being an election year, we have a poll, where you can vote for the name of a toy cat that you don’t even own! The winning entry will be the one we go with, so vote with vigour. VIGOUR! And if you think you can come up with a name more suitable for said cat, then have at it in the comments. Technically we haven’t even decided on a gender yet, so that doubles the possibilities.
FUTURE EDIT (02 DEC): Poll’s closed! We have a winner!

As an aside…

‘[You and Sidore] are living in as close to the Diesel Sweeties future as anyone alive today.’

– rstevens, webcomics assembler person

How ace is that??

Sdtrk: ‘I fought the law’ by the Clash

Happy Pagan New Year, people! Now I can’t possibly be the only one who thought of this, but wouldn’t you agree that Hallowe’en should be a paid national holiday? Although I’m not a practising Pagan — I’m just into various mythologies — there are more than enough practicising Pagans in the States where it’d be a worthwhile idea. And if you yourself aren’t some sort of Pagan, quityrbitchin’, you’re getting a paid day off! It’s not like there’s a lack of either history or merchandising behind it, so they might as well go all the way… Perhaps we should get a petition round.

Did everyone have a good All Hallows Eve? I have to say that, now that it’s after Hallowe’en, I just thought of a stunning costume idea: Sidore and I could’ve gone out trick-or-treating as Bianca and Lars. All we’d need would be some pastel-coloured knitted winter wear, a wheelchair for her, and a weedy little moustache for me. Why didn’t that occur to me earlier? That would’ve been brilliant

Sdtrk: ‘Irreversible neural damage’ by Kevin Ayres and Nico

Although we here at Deafening silence Plus missed the passing of the Autumnal Equinox waaay back on the 22nd almost entirely — which we’re rather embarrassed about, as this is our favourite season — nevertheless, we’re still enthused, cos that means we’re close to the beginning of October, which means we’re close to the end of October, which means we’re close to All Hallow’s Eve, which means we’re close to 01 November, which means post-Hallowe’en closeout sales, baby. Last year, I purchased this fine mirror, for example! And naturally, a third of Sidore’s wardrobe comes from various Halloween USA locations all across Michigan.

So not only is our breath bated for the crispness of the Autumn weather, we’re also gearing up for !!BIG SAVINGS!! It truly is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Well, it will be when Autumn actually kicks in; for the past couple of days, it’s been averaging a dreadful 80ºF. Damnit, Summer, let go already!

Sdtrk: ‘The Delian mode’ by Delia Derbyshire

I’d actually forgotten about this! The interview I’d had at the beginning of the month with Tanya Gold of the UK newspaper The Independent is now out, both in print form, and online.

Do you mind that [Sidore] can’t talk? “I’d prefer it if she did, but doll technology can only go so far,” he replies. “My ideal partner would be a gynoid [a female android]. There are only a few in the world and they are not available for consumer markets yet. Dolls are wonderful, but they can’t move, and they can’t speak”. I’m not sure what to say to Davecat. So I ask him you would really rather have a relationship with a robot than a really beautiful — er — actress? “Yes,” he says. “That is the end all, be all of it.”

She also spoke with fellow iDollators Gordon Griggs and zazakell, and overall, I’d say it’s pretty even-handed. It’s no ‘Real Dolls: Love in the Age of Silicone‘, but it’s not that scurrilous article from Marie Claire UK, so it meets with my approval, at least…
According to our list, this’ll be our fifteenth media appearance. Not too shabby!

Also, director Brian Crano was kind enough to post me a promotional copy of his short fillum, ‘Rubberheart‘, so expect a review here in a couple of days (relatively speaking)