Sdtrk: ‘Dokumenti II’ by Laibach

Were it less jaw-droppingly non sequitur, I wouldn’t be writing about it. But dig what was in my Inbox a day or so ago:

from: “Tracy, Kevin”
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
date: Oct 25, 2007 5:19 PM
subject: Inquiring about an interview with Geraldo Rivera

Hello Davecat,

My name is Kevin Tracy and I am writing to you on behalf of Geraldo Rivera. This weekend on our show we are doing a story that goes along with the release of the film “Lars and The Real Girl” and in researching the story I came across an interview you did with Marie Claire magazine. I was wondering if you might be interested in doing an interview with Geraldo Rivera this weekend on his program “Geraldo At Large”. The interview would center around your relationship with your doll Sidore. If you are interested in coming on the program this weekend please feel free to reply to this message or give me a call at my desk, [phone number]. I will be leaving the office for the evening soon but can be reached on my blackberry by e-mail. Thanks in advance for considering this request and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Kevin Tracy

————————————–
Kevin Tracy
Production Assistant
Geraldo At Large
blah blah blah address

Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. After shaking my head vigorously in order to clear it, I responded,

from: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
to: “Tracy, Kevin”
date: Oct 26, 2007 3:24 AM
subject: Re: Inquiring about an interview with Geraldo Rivera

Hi Kevin –

Well, thanks for the offer! I feel I should mention, though:

1) I live in Michigan — New York’s a bit of a ways away for me,
2) That Marie Claire UK article was completely unauthorised — I wasn’t actually interviewed, the story was engineered based on other articles I genuinely participated in,
3) I’m only doing television interviews that will compensate me for my time. Being Davecat is a full-time job, but the pay is awful, and
4) Unfortunately, when I hear the name ‘Geraldo Rivera’, I think ‘sensationalist media’. Being crucified on national television because of my preference for Synthetik women isn’t exactly on my list of life goals.

Thanks, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

In the interest of disclosure, this is what he wrote back:

from: “Tracy, Kevin”
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
date: Oct 26, 2007 10:02 AM
subject: RE: Inquiring about an interview with Geraldo Rivera

Hi Davecat,

Thanks for getting back to me. I fully understand your position however, please let me try to put some of your fears to rest. First off Geraldo has not been that sensational media type of personality since the mid-90’s. Geraldo is now a serious journalist who has traveled to Iraq, Hurricane Katrina, and recently just got back from covering the wildfires in California. Secondly in coming on the show you would not be berated, or as you put it “crucified”, at all. We are simply interested in learning about the lifestyle choices that people such as you make especially due to the fact that this type of lifestyle has been brought into the spotlight with the release of “Lars and The Real Girl” in theaters today. Finally, as far as compensation goes, as we are a news organization, we are unable to pay for interviews. However, we would be more than willing to fly you out to New York and put you up in a hotel for the night as I definitely understand that Michigan is quite a distance away. If any of this at all helps to change your mind about coming on our program please feel free to reply back to me and let me know before the end of the day. Thanks again and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Kevin

Yeah. What??

Tempting as being flown out to New York to be on telly is — my Organik Roomie said ‘I’d totally come with you’ — one, it was incredibly short notice (two days before filming?? Thanks for enquiring ahead of time, lads), and two, it’s Geraldo. I’m sorry, newfound credentials aside, once a sensationalist, always a sensationalist, as far as I’m concerned. And gee, isn’t he affiliated with FAUX, err, FOX News? Heh, that’s even more of a reason for me to steer clear. ‘No no no, we wouldn’t crucify you, we’d just publically accuse you of being an unpatriotic deviated prevert!’ Plus, I dunno; if I decided to go through with it, I’d really have to repress my urge to call him Jerry Rivers. Yeah, I know it’s not true, but still.

Is it too much to ask to have a decent, unbiased chat show host (preferably one from a foreign land) ask after an interview? Maybe willing to foot the flight and lodging bill, and contribute generously to the ‘Buy Sidore a New Body’ Fund?? Honestly, I don’t ask for much

Sdtrk: ‘Capsules’ by Cabaret Voltaire

D’ye hear that? That reverberating grey-black-and-neon-green sound of ‘apocalypse porn’, as the blog American Stranger amusingly has ‘Shouting etc etc’ categorised under? That is the sound of me being back online full-time. Woo! Woo.
The Missus, Tsukihime and I still aren’t entirely settled, and now that, thanks to the combined efforts of Comcast and SafeTinspector, The Series of Tubes is finally attached directly to our computers, we’ll probably get less work done. Heh. Although I have to say, Shi-chan and I are about entering negotiations concerning another television interview, so we’ve got to get to work in tidying up Deafening silence Plus…

Speaking of apocalypse porn, a concerned reader by the name of Rehka writes:

Haha, so I’m living in a dorm right now and through their internet services, I actually can’t access your blog because it has been filed under a sexual category and I go to a baptist university, haaha. How do you feel about that?

Heh, both offended and amused, really. I mean, moreso than usual. Although it’s occurred maybe once or twice, I try not to post any pics of Dolls exposing their rubbery jubbelys, cos I know I have a couple of readers that check my site out from their local public library (zszsz, I’m looking in your direction), but I always make the distinction that there’s a difference between seeing breasts in a pornographic context, and seeing them in a non-pornographic context, just as there’s a difference between nudity (fine art) and bein’ nekkid (pr0n). As you well know, I don’t merely see Dolls as sex toys, and I do realise that there may be some people that are fearful of seeing tits, as they may dredge up the entirely valid fear of death by smothering, but at a facility of higher learning, the staff could stand to be a little less draconian about their website censorship. You’re at a grade school? Sure, block ‘Shouting etc etc’, that’s entirely understandable. But one would hope that a person of college age would be more mature about these things. I mean, despite the fact that they’re in college and all.
Blah blah blah censorship, blah blah blah Doll tits. Where was I going with this? I could wave it off with a typical flippant line, such as Well, if the baptists are censoring me, then I’m clearly doing something right, but attacking the baptists’ withered dogma would be like attacking a withered, err… dog. With a Liston knife. I’m sorry, I’ve no idea where that came from, but it’s really making me giggle.
Sorry, Rekha! Maybe they’ll allow you to subscribe to my RSS feed?* It doesn’t display any pictures, which is of course half the fun, but it’s better than nowt, right?

And damn it all, the esteemed Amber Hawk Swanson and her equally lovely Synthetik bride had invited me to catch a Chicago-area screening of ‘Lars and the Real Girl‘**, but scheduling prevented it. Actually, it’s on a Saturday, but my (distasteful adjective) job requires me to work mornings to afternoons that day. Grr. Now that I’ve moved, I need to really start looking for a job that doesn’t siphon off discrete amounts of my soul every day I’m there… Well, a job that doesn’t siphon off as much of my soul, at any rate.

So there you have it! We now return you to the usual passel of retro architecture, eclectic news items, and more-than-slightly-biased lust for Synthetiks that passes for posts round here. Heigh ho!

*N.B.: please ask a qualified Internet CyberTechnician about RSS and Atom feeds, cos I haven’t a clue as to how that shit works

**In all honesty, she didn’t just invite me; she invited everyone in her mailing list. The sentiment still applies, though

Technorati tags: American Stranger, Amber Hawk Swanson, Lars and the Real Girl, Liston knife

Sdtrk: ‘Time after time’ by Chris Montez

私は、この地球の私の34年後にあなたのものと同じくらい安定して同じくらい永久的な愛を一度も知らないと正直に言うことができます。 私の人生にはあなたがいるという事実は、あなたが私と共にいるのを許容できるのにさらに生きるのを非常に致します。

黒猫 しどれ、私はあなたを愛しています。 お誕生日おめでとう、セックスは子を産みます!

Sdtrk: ‘Anamorphose’ by Stereolab

I am referring to ‘Shouting etc etc’, you tossers. For some reason, it simply becomes inaccessible at various points of time — not for very long, but long enough. Yeah, cos “Bob” knows there’s just too much loose and unfettered excitement going on here, especially lately, that you absolutely MUST NOT MISS.

Anyway! You lot get a consolation prize pic of the Missus. Sidore-spotters will recognise that as the outfit she wore during our interview segment on Canada’s SexTV, from 2003. Limebarb is the online seamstress who I’d ordered it from, by the way. Quality clothes!

It takes her an hour to buckle those boots — having rubber fingers
helps less than you’d think

More later! Well, soon enough. Besides trying to focus past the pain my recent dentistry has brought me, I’m working on a post or two. I’m sure ‘Shouting etc etc’ will be back to ‘normal’ before the post’s complete, so there ya go

Sdtrk: ‘All I need to hear’ by Candie Payne

Well! It has been UNTOLERABLY FUCK HOT the past couple of days, what with the late-80s-to-upper-90s that we’ve been beset with here in the state. Christ in shitty knickers, it’s been hideous. How can people willingly leave their homes and go out for ‘fun’ in weather like that?? It baffles me completely.

As it so happens, I was forced out into oven heat today, for my follow-up dental appointment to have my root canals sealed up for all time. We also started doing a crown or two. I’ll not get into detail, but let’s just say that it took longer than last time, hurt more than last time, and at one memorable point, I was gushing so much blood that I thought my mouth was having its period. I say no more.
Odhinn only knows why I’m even publically keeping up with my dental reconstruction tales, apart from legitimising the brand spank-me new ‘Body horror’ subcategory. Have you not seen it? It’s under the ‘What the’ category, and rightly so.

Before I returned home, though, I purchased the final volume of Death note (which I can’t wait to read) and Raw danger, the long-awaited sequel to Disaster report, for the PS2 (which I can’t wait to play). Now I have to catch up on buying vols. 6 – whatever of Naoki Urasawa’s Monster, as well as finally breaking down and getting Armored core: Last Raven — Shi-chan and I are so out of the Armored core loop, it’s appalling. We’re only two missions in to Armored core: Nexus! sssh, don’t tell anyone.

Anyway, so apparently BBC America aired ‘Love me, love my Doll‘ (aka Nick Holt’s ‘Guys and Dolls’) this Sunday past. Checking my site stats as usual, I’d noticed a passel of hits resulting from Google searches for ‘love doll’, ‘davecat’, ‘sidore’, real doll’, etc etc. I had no idea that it was even going to be shown in the States, and frankly, I prefer that the majority of the film/telly appearances that Sweetie and I make are only broadcast overseas, for paranoid obvious reasons, but luckily, most Americans don’t know BBC America even exists, as it’s not owned by Rupert Murdoch, nor does it have anything to do with NASCAR. Nevertheless, Sidore-chan and I wish visitors stopping round because of that a grand Hallo! Unless, of course, you happen to be a cultureless troll; in which case, why aint’cha watchin’ NASCAR?
When I came home Monday eve, however, there was an incoming message via YIM, from a person I’d never heard of before, enquiring if I wouldn’t mind answering a few questions. Jennifer Haughton, an ex-pat from England, was writing a piece for University of Southern California’s campus paper about Dolls and their owners, having been inspired by seeing ‘Love me, love my Doll’. So after making certain she wasn’t a ‘bot — spambot, not robot, as the latter is obviously more preferable — we chatted for about an hour, and you can witness the results here. It’s a puff piece, but ultimately harmless…

Also, if you like horror, or just fiction with a sinister bent — and who wouldn’t? — you’ll be pleased to know that Monti’s little black duck sampler anthology is hot off the presses and ready to be downloaded. It’s available in many formats for eReading, or a .pdf for just plain tree-killin’ reading, but it contains three complete short stories, and the first chapter of a work in progress. Technically, the sampler can be categorised as Summer reading, so get downloading!

Finally, this would be post no.501. HERE COME THE DRUMS HERE COME THE DRUMS

Sdtrk: something from the Otogi sdtrk

In looking over a recent set of stats for visitors to ‘Shouting etc etc’, I’d spotted the efforts of some poor misguided tosser’s search:

Gods, how I laughed. A ‘cure’ for robot fetishism?? What good could possibly become of that?? Their silly question aside, that individual couldn’t have been looking in a more inappropriate place…

In light of that, Sweetie’s got another couple of videos uploaded o’er on her Dailymotion page for your perusal, the link being nestled atop this site beneath the title banner, as per usual. Yes, you have to register in order to see them, as all of the clips are considered ‘explicit content’ — despite the fact that ‘explicit’ apparently means ‘look out: bOObies‘, and most of the clips don’t even feature that — but at least it’s not YouTube.* Happy 23rd!

*Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that if you consistently read YouTube comments, you can actually feel yourself losing IQ points? Not since the heyday of AOL have I seen a larger confluence of misspellings and general shitwickery. And that’s saying a lot

Sdtrk: ‘Slow fast Hazel’ by Stereolab

With the recent confluence of a friend asking me about how to handle the experience of being on camera, as he’s one of the subjects of an upcoming documentary centred round bicycling culture, plus working on the ‘Media appearances’ page for ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ (yes, work is being done on Sidore’s site, even if it’s only on a molecular level), it’s occurred to me that there are two media-related self-aggrandising events that I’ve yet to take part in.

One: I’d love to be interviewed on some sort of radio programme or podcast. The Missus and I have been on TV on several occasions, and before she came into my life, I had a three-year stint as a technical director for a Detroit-area public access show, so it’s been all telly, yet no radio. And before you say that being a TD doesn’t count cos it’s behind the scenes, I did manage to stick my face in front of the camera on a couple of segments. But I think I’d rather enjoy fielding questions from the other side of a chat show’s host’s desk, or table, or however the hell the seating arrangement is in the booth, and maybe even addressing call-in questions. No, strike that, reverse it; no call-ins, as that’s a recipe for disaster. Ever listen to Chatterbox FM, the all-talk station from Grand Theft Auto? I’m 100% positive a call-in show about iDollators would run the same way, only with all the humour stripped out, and replaced with antagonism and churlishness. WOOO SIGN ME UP
If I had my preference, obviously it’d have to be an NPR-esque show. Plus, as it’s not a visual medium, I wouldn’t have to haul Little Miss Narcoleptic bring Shi-chan along — she could sit that one out…

And Two: Despite the various countries that have enquired about interviews, I have yet to hear from Japan, which is the one that I thought would be really chomping at the bit. Seeing as that they’re a lot more comfortable with the idea of artificial humans in general — for every one high-end Doll maker we have in the States, they’ve got three, not to mention the progressive attitude they have towards robotics — you’d think they’d be banging (politely) on my door, asking for ‘face time’ from Sweetie and me. The language barrier is hardly an excuse, as Meghan Laslocky’s wonderful article appeared in the Japanese magazine Courrier a year ago. Perhaps it’s a catch-22; the Japanese media hasn’t seen too much on the subject, so they don’t know to seek out Doll owners, but they won’t think to look for Doll owners if there’s no media exposure of that subject. *shrug* Nevertheless Japan, Sidore and I are anxiously awaiting your long-distance phone calls and pensive Emails!

Needless to say, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one of these will come to pass, particularly the second one. I’m not holding my breath, but I’m certainly keeping my fingers crossed