Sdtrk: ‘Top of the Pops’ by the Rezillos

Which human is having more Fun?

Session Start (kuroneko_23:james1online): Sat Mar 18 13:20:58 2006
[01.20.58 PM] james1online: hiya swety
[01.21.04 PM] james1online: hw re u doing today amjames
[01.21.10 PM] kuroneko_23: Who?
[01.21.35 PM] james1online: am james
[01.21.43 PM] james1online: hw re u doing today?/
[01.21.57 PM] kuroneko_23: That.. tells me nothing.
You do realise I’m a bloke, right?
[01.22.26 PM] james1online: i want to meet u
[01.22.42 PM] james1online: what re u talking am about
[01.22.58 PM] kuroneko_23: Do you speak English at all? Or understand it?
[01.23.05 PM] james1online: james
[01.23.25 PM] james1online: yes
[01.23.30 PM] james1online: what ur name Ms
[01.23.33 PM] kuroneko_23: ‘James’ is no language that I’ve heard of.
[01.23.40 PM] james1online: am james
[01.23.43 PM] kuroneko_23: I AM A MAN, YOU DUMB TWAT.
[01.23.52 PM] james1online: ok
[01.24.09 PM] james1online: where re u right now
[01.24.17 PM] james1online: can i see u
[01.24.24 PM] *** james1online has added you to their contact list. You may choose to accept or deny this action. You may also add this user to your contact list or Ignore this user.
[01.24.55 PM] james1online: re u ther
[01.24.58 PM] *** You have denied access to james1online.
[01.25.09 PM] kuroneko_23: Where are you from, stupid?
[01.25.46 PM] james1online: usa
(Plot point)
[01.25.53 PM] james1online: and u
[01.26.21 PM] kuroneko_23: Are you six years old? Or mentally retarded?
Because you type like a mentally retarded six year old.
[01.26.35 PM] kuroneko_23: Were you dropped on your head as a child?
[01.26.49 PM] kuroneko_23: Do you even understand what I’m typing?
[01.27.05 PM] james1online: yes
[01.27.09 PM] james1online: tell me again
[01.27.16 PM] james1online: am a guy
[01.27.31 PM] kuroneko_23: ‘am a guy’
Question, or statement?
[01.27.42 PM] james1online: i do will u say
[01.27.50 PM] kuroneko_23: What??
[01.27.52 PM] james1online: ok
[01.27.57 PM] james1online: but u ve lady pix
(This threw me for a bit, until I realised that he was going off my IM pic — I swap out several pics of various RealDolls for my avatar. Matt McMullen, 1 – james1online, 0)
[01.28.08 PM] kuroneko_23: That means absolutely nothing.
[01.28.37 PM] james1online: ok
[01.28.42 PM] james1online: so am a gay too
[01.28.42 PM] james1online: and u
[01.28.59 PM] james1online: i use to act like the woman
[01.29.02 PM] kuroneko_23: ‘Guy’ or ‘Gay’?
I am a guy, and I am not gay.
[01.29.10 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s.. great.
[01.29.22 PM] james1online: ok
[01.29.29 PM] james1online: can we be friend
[01.29.29 PM] james1online: where re u
[01.29.36 PM] james1online: right now
[01.30.33 PM] kuroneko_23: I am at home.
And you don’t know anything about me, and you want to be my friend? Are you that desperate and/or starved for attention that you’ll attempt to befriend anyone at random on the Internet, despite the fact that every other sentence you get from them is insulting?
[01.30.37 PM] kuroneko_23: You dumb cunt?
[01.31.44 PM] james1online: really
[01.32.00 PM] kuroneko_23: YA RLY
[01.32.09 PM] james1online: can i see u on cam
[01.32.18 PM] kuroneko_23: I don’t have a cam.
[01.32.28 PM] james1online: ok
[01.32.39 PM] james1online: country
[01.32.50 PM] kuroneko_23: Look, you churl. This is my profile.
http://profiles.yahoo.com/kuroneko_23
[01.33.12 PM] james1online: ok
[01.34.06 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s why you have to do your homework before engaging people at random in conversation, you sad stupid bastard.
[01.34.44 PM] james1online: what do u for live
[01.35.01 PM] kuroneko_23: HEY, JAMES. DO ME A FAVOUR?
[01.35.25 PM] kuroneko_23: TYPE IN PROPER GODDAMN ENGLISH.
[01.35.52 PM] james1online: ok
(Get ready, as james, upon learning that I’m not actually a lass, takes a different approach. Let’s watch)
[01.35.56 PM] james1online: i need ur favour
[01.36.14 PM] james1online: can u cash me a check
[01.36.36 PM] kuroneko_23: O yeah, let me do that. I’d be HAPPY to cash your fucking cheque.
[01.36.57 PM] kuroneko_23: You’re retarded, aren’t you? Is that what your problem is?
[01.36.59 PM] james1online: ok
[01.37.23 PM] james1online: do u ve printer
[01.37.39 PM] kuroneko_23: Can you count past five, james? Is that why you want me to cash your cheque, cos it’s $6?
[01.37.54 PM] james1online: i ve to go buy papper check
[01.38.13 PM] james1online: the check cos 3700
[01.38.18 PM] kuroneko_23: The word is spelt ‘paper’, you fucking inbred.
[01.38.19 PM] james1online: $
[01.38.43 PM] james1online: ok
[01.38.43 PM] james1online: can u get it now
[01.38.58 PM] james1online: so that i can give the check in ur mail box
[01.39.12 PM] kuroneko_23: Yeah! Through the Magick of the Internet, I’ll get it! In fact, I have it RIGHT NOW.
[01.39.19 PM] james1online: so that u can print it out and go cashit
[01.39.35 PM] james1online: ok
[01.39.51 PM] james1online: \can i ve ur names ,address ,city,state,zipcode ,tell
[01.40.07 PM] james1online: mail to my box james1online@yahoo.com
(Feel free to make use of this. You know you want to)
[01.40.12 PM] james1online: now
[01.40.15 PM] kuroneko_23: Sure! But first, let me have yours. Just type it here!
[01.40.55 PM] kuroneko_23: james?
[01.41.04 PM] kuroneko_23: Send me your address.
[01.41.08 PM] kuroneko_23: Send it to me now.
[01.41.12 PM] kuroneko_23: Now, james.
[01.41.23 PM] kuroneko_23: Don’t be a cakefucker, and do what I say, james.
[01.41.33 PM] kuroneko_23: Send me your info now.
[01.41.34 PM] james1online: ok
[01.41.36 PM] kuroneko_23: Now.
[01.41.44 PM] kuroneko_23: Right now.
[01.41.49 PM] james1online: give it to me
[01.42.02 PM] kuroneko_23: You first james, or I’m ending this conversation.
[01.42.17 PM] kuroneko_23: You want me to cash that cheque for you, james?
[01.42.18 PM] james1online: u see
[01.42.34 PM] kuroneko_23: Yes or no, james? Do you want me to cash that cheque?
[01.42.49 PM] james1online: right now am in africa and i need ur help
(Hey! Didn’t you just say you were in the States? YOU SIR, ARE AN INTERNET LIAR)
[01.42.49 PM] james1online: yes
[01.43.03 PM] kuroneko_23: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[01.43.09 PM] kuroneko_23: You’re one of THEM.
[01.43.18 PM] kuroneko_23: Robert Mugabe?
(At this point, I kenned that this was the IM version of the old-as-the-Internet-itself fraud of ‘some bloke in Africa wants you to help him out by sending him some money, and in return, he’ll send you $3 billion/access to oil fields/untold riches/etc.‘ I couldn’t remember the name that a lot of the scammers use, but ‘Robert Mugabe’ popped into my head. Plus, since Trillian has insta-access to Wikipedia, as soon as I typed that name, it showed me an entry for Mr Mugabe, who is, as far as I know, not a scammer)
[01.43.39 PM] james1online: and i willl give to some out the it 300
[01.43.39 PM] james1online: no]
[01.43.44 PM] james1online: am james walker
(James Walker was apparently someone involved with the government of an African nation. The Wiki entry I got from Trillian was different than the one you get when you go directly to their site)
[01.43.55 PM] kuroneko_23: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[01.44.00 PM] kuroneko_23: Great!
[01.44.06 PM] james1online: *DING*
[01.44.07 PM] kuroneko_23: Can you do me a favour, james?
[01.44.19 PM] kuroneko_23: Just one favour?
[01.44.20 PM] james1online: yes
[01.44.35 PM] james1online: yes
[01.44.37 PM] kuroneko_23: GO CHOKE ON A COCK, CRAWL INTO A DITCH AND DIE, YOU WASTE OF FLESH.
[01.44.39 PM] *** james1online has been ignored.

Sdtrk: ‘Only to other people’ by The Cookies

Remember that post I’d written concerning the brilliant ‘Caring for Your Introvert’ article by Jonathan Rauch? Well, there’s a follow-up interview with him here.

Do you ever wish you were an extrovert?

Not really. That may be because my “faking it” skills are pretty good. But I do think a lot of us are tired of being told that there’s something wrong with us—of this lazy assumption that if you’re not an extrovert, there’s something wrong with you. I think my article may speak to people in part because of its defiant message. It says, “No, I don’t wish to be an extrovert. Not everyone has to be one. And why don’t you people get it?”

Again, required reading

Sdtrk: ‘Vodiak’ by Stereolab

So I was out and about today, and I had no idea that Stereolab had a new release out! That shit slipped beneath my radar, completely and utterly.

I love that title

Apparently, it’s not really a new full-length, it’s a compilation of recent singles. So far, I’ve only listened to half of it, and it almost pains me to say it, but… Stereolab just doesn’t stimulate me as much as they used to. In fact, their previous release, Margerine eclipse, remains rather unmemorable to me as well, as it just didn’t have a lot of stand-out tracks. I completely dug the EP that came right before it, Instant 0 in the universe, but ever since the Dots and loops era, where they’d begin a song, get halfway through it, and then completely switch melodies, they’ve been inching down a preference slope for me. Not to say that that’s what I don’t like — New order used to do that all the time, which was one of the qualities that drew me to them — but I’d say it’s something else…

Personally, I think the reason for the dew being off the lily these days is due to their lack of Farfisa-centred Motorik-based songs. Compare Mars audiac quintet to Cobra and phases group… and it’s almost like two different bands. Yes, I realise that if you’re running a band for fifteen (!!) years, your sound is obviously going to change, but for a person like me who swears by consistency, it’s a wee bit unsettling. For instance, the only albums by The Jesus and Mary chain that I own are Psycho candy, Barbed wire kisses, and Honey’s dead, and that’s cos they all pretty much sound alike. Hell, I was disconcerted when Broadcast started relying less on samples on everything post-Work and non work.
This is why whenever a band I like breaks up or otherwise quits, there’s the initial heartbreak, but eventually I’m okay with their decision, cos oftentimes it crystallises them forever at their peak (i.e, Joy division, the Smiths), as opposed to flogging their particular horse into mucilage (i.e post-Technique New order, post-NATO Laibach).

They’re in town this Sunday, and I have to say that I’m altogether not too gung-ho on seeing them. Plus it’s on a Sunday eve. I hate it when bands do that. I have to work the next morning, you know. Goddamned rock stars.
I’ll still buy Stereolab’s releases, but it’s just not the same anymore, as I’ll keep hoping for them to do a 180, and make another Transient random noise-bursts. Even if it’s only temporary, I’ll be a happy lad..

Looks like another passel of interviews about being an iDollator is nigh! Are nigh! Whatever. That troublemakin’ lass Elena Dorfman wrote me from out of the blue today, saying that someone from Details magazine would have words with me concerning the Missus, which was really a surprise, as I haven’t seen an issue of Details on the racks since the mid-Nineties. Also, there’s some bloke from a Finnish youth and culture magazine called Image hoping for an article as well. The Finnish mag I have no problem with, but I’ll have to be cautious with the Details fellow, as that’s, y’know, published in the States. Obviously, I don’t want a repeat of the Pandagon colostomy bag explosion, or worse. I’ll keep you posted…
Gods, can’t these people wait until Sidore-chan’s site is back up (still pending)?

As an aside, I simply must share with you a line from Elena’s Email that struck me: ‘It’s a marvelous day here in the Bay Area; lots of sunshine and big, fluffy clouds. Makes a girl feel like jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. Know what I mean?’
Ha! Feckin’ brilliant

Sdtrk: ‘Wounded cycad dub’ by Merzbow

It’s funny; I’d seen the trailer for ‘Ultraviolet‘ a couple of months ago, and pretty much forgot about it until recently. It seemed like something my friend Mari would be into, and I described it to her thus:

‘You know — it’s set on Earth, or a planet like it, in a dystopian future, and it’s about a half-human, half-vampire lass who dresses in tight clothes, and goes round shooting people with a pair of guns, or chopping ’em up with her sword. Also, a motorcycle may be involved.’ Truly, a New and Original Idea!
Then I started laughing, and couldn’t stop.

It’s kinda like when ‘Deep star six’, ‘Leviathan’, and ‘The Abyss’ all hit the cinemas during the same year. See one, and you’ve seen them all!
As painter Ed Ruscha once brilliantly commented, Hollywood is a verb

Sdtrk: ‘Flieger’ by Death in June

I can’t remember how I discovered this particular article, but it’s something I think everyone, especially garrulous blabby extroverts, should read over.

Are introverts misunderstood? Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. “It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert,” write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. [..] Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.

It’s bizarre; sometimes I think I’m fooling myself when I say I’m an introvert, as I often enjoy spending time with my mates now and again. But just because a person has a group of friends that they like to spend time with, doesn’t necessarily define them as being an extrovert. Especially when you consider that I only spend about fourteen hours out of the week with them (the week-ends, obviously; and then, of course, not in a row). Wanting to spend time with someone is far different than wanting to live with them, or having them constantly round you at all times.

I think part of the problem with modern society is that so many people who may actually be introverts try their hardest to fall into lockstep with what popular culture dictates — ‘introverts are loners, and loners are losers’ — and in the process, they become even more miserable, as they’re trying to be something they aren’t, just for the sake of ‘fitting in’. Obviously it’s great to receive the approval and acceptance of others, but a person shouldn’t base their life round what others think of them. If it’s your mates, they’ll be perfectly alright if you don’t think exactly like they do, and if you’re not into the exact same things. If it’s some tosser off the street who thinks less of you due to you not fitting their ideal, their opinion is less than worthless, and every minute of attention paid to them is far more than they deserve.

Personally, I never understood people whose goals were to live according to what popular culture dictates. I always figured they were filling a personality-shaped void within themselves. I’d always assumed that existence was living life for your assumptions and standards, and not for anyone else’s. ‘If it harm none, do as thou wilt.’ If others mock and deride you for your introversion, simply reply, ‘You’re goddamned right I’m an introvert. At least I’ll always be associated with a better class of people.’

At any rate, be sure to read the article

Sdtrk: ‘Specialist’ by Interpol

(gleefully stolen from Penda’s Backroom)
Wow, I ended up doing a lot better than I thought. And I didn’t use any reference material at all! Thumbs up!
But I was hoping I’d rate a Brady or Sutcliffe. 😛

I do actually have several books and compendiums about serial killers currently gathering dust on my shelves — maybe it’s time to crack those spines again, for old-times’ sake. Ha, a pun!

Somewhat-yet-not-really related: Go read Tsugumi Ohba’s manga ‘Death note‘ — it’s completely mental

Sdtrk: ‘Neat neat neat’ by the Damned

This is just plain embarrassing.

Holy crap, it’s ô:41? I’m late!!

As the top two vertical bars on the second-from-the-leftmost digit have suddenly vanished, it looks like now I have to buy a new watch. I’m like the White Rabbit*; I always have to have a watch on me so I either can be assured that I am indeed running late for whatever, or so I can periodically check it in order to formulate a proper excuse for taking my leave. The funny thing is is that I’ve had this watch since.. egad, it’s been since at least 1999, cos I’d bought it for my Quest job. I needed a timepiece small enough that would allow me to stretch a pair of rubber gloves across it.
No, unfortunately that job was a lot less kinky than it sounds. There was pee involved, however.

Compared to my gradeschool/highschool tour of duty, my timepiece needs are a lot simpler. In fact, up until my Quest job, I’d gone through several different versions of the calculator watch, finally reaching my peak with the first version of the CASIO Databank that stored addresses and phone numbers and the like. It’s true; I was kind of a nerd! So fuck you. But I’ll tell you this: with my last couple of watches, I was getting tired of the plastic strap it came with, so I bought this black leather affair for it, which sported one wide strap down the middle, and a narrower strap on either side, which made for a truly cyberpunk presentation, even without the silver studs that it boasted. I wore that bastard until two of the three straps gave out. I loved that watchband..

These days, however, I don’t need to store all of my sundry information into my watch, for goodness sake, that’s what I have my phone for! So a smaller watch is what I require. Anything 1) digital and 2) under $15, cos let’s be honest — spending more than $15 on a feckin’ watch is lunacy. Unless, of course, it’s one of the retro-futuristic watches sold on Tokyoflash. But sweet slow-roasted Christ, those are expensive. Not to mention complicated. And heavy. Here’s a prime example:

Morse Code by Morse
‘Tokyoflash is proud to present the first ever Morse Code watch.

The watch has 3 modes for telling the time.
Using a bulit in speaker that refracts the sound off your wrist through the solid stainless caseback it sounds out the time in Morse Code.
If thats to hard to follow, you can press a button to see the time in Morse Code on the LED display.
If that’s still too hard to decipher or your running out of time, one more press of a button you can see the time in regular digit form.

Stimulate your mind and learn to tell the time in Morse Code.

The quality is second to none with 150 grams of solid stainless, this watch is built like a Navy Seal!
With its high polish strap & mirrored lens – in bright sunlight you could even signal in Morse Code.’

JAPAN RETAIL: ¥18900 (161 USD)
TOKYOFLASH PRICE: ¥12900 (110 USD)

Looks ace, but the price is a wee bit prohibitive. Plus in comparison, by and large you’re not gonna be too concerned if anything adverse happens to a $15-or-less watch.
Getting back to my malfunctioning timepiece, frankly, I’m surprised that it’s taken as long as it has to start going out-of-order. Note that I say ‘start’, as it still basically works — it’s not as if the screen has gone out — but it just doesn’t work very well. It’s like driving a car where the left turn indicator doesn’t work. You can still drive it.. just not very well. Funnily enough, between the time I bought this one and now, I’ve actually gone through three other watches, not to mention the fact that I’ve only replaced the battery once (a couple of months ago) since purchase. Hrrm. Maybe this watch killed the other watches? I suspect foul play.

So I suppose this week, I’ll scour Target and/or Meijer half-heartedly for a new timepiece. O, the Excitement.
Upon reflection, this post reminds me of the time that I went on about buying a new electric shaver! I am dutifully continuing the legacy of being a cheap bastard

*Speaking of the White Rabbit, d’ya know what would be absolutely perfect? A digital pocketwatch. That would be the best product ever, hands down