Sdtrk: ‘Swinging bachelor pad’ by Vitesse

Last night, I voluntarily watched the pilot episode of the american version of ‘The office’. I don’t normally watch broadcast television, in fact, I really haven’t watched telly since ‘Seinfeld’ went off the air, and I wasn’t even aware there was a bastardised version of ‘The office’ due to air over here; I was helping my mother with her computer, and I saw it mentioned on the TV listings, so I decided, why not?

Yep, it was shite. I mean, I knew it was going to be shite, but I suppose I had to confirm it. Over the course of 22min, I audibly laughed three times. That’s cos, gee, I’d already seen the first episode before. Seriously, it was the same damn episode as the original pilot — same gags and everything — only with americans in place of the British cast.
Turns out Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant are executive producers of it as well. Did you guys need rent money or something?? Why did you feel it was necessary to take a brilliant show, and essentially cut off its balls? I mean, there’s no way they’re gonna be able to come up with something equal to the gag featuring Tim and the dildo over here. And I’m thinking the Finchy character isn’t going to be nearly as funny, since 98% of his speech pattern is really horrible sexual innuendo.

O well. I’ve seen it, so now I can forget it exists. I had to watch the entire first disk of the boxset to wash the bad taste off my brain, so the evening wasn’t a total disaster.
I think later on at some point, I’m going to have to explain to you, the casual viewer of ‘Shouting etc etc’, why I despise most remakes, but right now I have to leave my house. Wish me luck!

Sdtrk: ‘Ich kann dir icht böse sein’ by France Gall

I hit one of the computer labs on campus today, in order to do my PowerPoint and integration homework that I can’t do at home, cos my computer only has Micro$oft Word, and the other one doesn’t even have that. The assignments run like typical workbook assigments: the exercise formulates a scenario — in this case, a group of fictitious tutoring centres are opening in Phoenix, AZ — and the book had me write up a letter to the local families that had children, letting them know what the centres offer, as well as describing the initial student assesment, tutoring fees, and advanced course work. Essentially, I had to make up a letter, but it had to mention the previous details. Heh. So off I went!

The Human Family
Address
City, State ZIP

Dear Local Families Who Have Children,

I am pleased to announce that Learning Fulfillment Centers offer a whole new world of learning unto your brand new children. As recently as 2001, the Greater Phoenix area has seen the opening of two more offices, in order to provide your young prodigies with as much learning as we can literally pour into their craniums.

Why are the highly-acclaimed Learning Fulfillment Centers so magnificently successful? Well, I’ll tell you. Our trained staff of staff trainees evaluates each and every student individually, and handcrafts a unique custom plan for each one of them. Will your child grow up to be a mild-mannered botanist, or will he perhaps learn to speak only in binary? Will she create medicines that benefit humanity, or instead raise the entire country of Monaco several miles above the Earth’s surface? With our programs, your child’s potential will truly have the opportunity to grow without limits.

As well as the standard grade school curriculum, we also offer one-on-one tutoring that utilizes state-of-the-art robot helpers, and, upon assessment, advanced course work will be offered to your children, taking place in our acclaimed hermetically-sealed classrooms that exist both within and without the boundaries of Time and Space. Our programs have been so successful since the Learning Fulfillment Centers were started back in 1997, that couples worldwide are having babies, for the sole purpose of sending their offspring to our schools. Even Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand, who was assassinated back in 1914 by Gavrilo Princip, in a regrettable act that initiated the start of World War I, wished with his dying breath that he could live to sire a son, that would eventually enroll in a Learning Fulfillment Center program. Would that were it so! But alas, it was not to be.

At the Learning Fulfillment Center, we realize that children are our future, and if we can only harness their tiny genius brains to create time machines, or successful cold fusion, or even something as simple as a microwave that heats every single part of the chicken pot-pie without leaving the center still partially frozen, then we believe that all the arduous ninja-supervised training was well worth the effort. Understandably, our courses are a little more expensive than standard schools, but your child is worth it. Your future is worth it.

Please take a moment to look over the seventeen and a half pounds of enclosed literature that details our curriculum. I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Very truly yours,
Dave Kuroneko

After integrating my data from the Excel worksheets, I had to cut a couple of lines, but you’ve just read the pre-edited version.
*shaking head* Man. What the hell is wrong with my brain??

Sdtrk: ‘Bossa nova supernova’ by Harmonic 33

As I’d mentioned, this past Friday, my mates and I caught ‘Steamboy’ on the big screen. I don’t know if it was worth almost a ten-year wait, and there were a couple of similarities between it and ‘Giant robo’ (mad scientist overzealous inventor creates the Shizuma drive the Steam Ball, an unlimited fuel source that several parties want for themselves; also, Ray Steam’s granddad bore more than a passing resemblance to Franken von Folger), but we all agreed that it was pretty ace. I’ll give you this — it was indeed an ‘orgy of destruction’, as some review wag typed. Remember what happened to Neo-Tokyo towards the end of ‘Akira’? Well, ‘Steamboy’ gets rather close to that… *sigh* Gotta add that to my list of DVDs now…
Also, before we headed our separate ways after the film, Tim mentioned that he got four tickets to go see Bloc party, so I guess I’ll be at that show. I’ll be sure to wear comfortable shoes this time…

On Saturday eve, Derek, Tomas & I convened at Jeff’s abode, and watched ‘The Incredibles’ (which was better than I expected it to be) and the second ‘Lady Snowblood’ film. That Meiko Kaji’s a hottie, even when she’s drenched in the blood of her enemies. She’s got moxie!

Sunday I had full intention of taking a brand-new portrait of myself with Shi-chan, but the zit on the bridge of my nose prevented me from doing so. Gah. Hopefully later this week..

And there’s this thing.

‘”Poisonous”? But who would attempt to eat a robot?’ you ask. ‘And a giant one at that?’ No matter! Fight me, damnit! FIGHT ME!!

Sdtrk: ‘Stairway to promotion’ by The Gerogerigegege

Pack yr architecturally romantic mind, as today, we cover the Trellick tower in west London, England, designed by Ernö Goldfinger. *cue Shirley Bassey*

In true Modernist fashion, Goldfinger’s Tower paid little heed to its surroundings- it dwarves nearby buildings, and its Brutalist concrete exterior makes it even more striking. It is a building which also paid little attention to the worries about Modernist housing in the late 1960s.

Trellick tower is a fine and standard example of the Brutalist style that took up a good part of Sixties architectural design. They were assembled in a style that ‘remained true to the material’, which resulted in buildings that were so lacking in grace that their monolithic ‘ugliness’ became beautiful in and of itself. (What can I say? I dig tower blocks..)

And as the story goes, Bond author Ian Fleming despised both Ernö and his aesthetic sense so much, that he took Goldfinger’s surname for his own villainous creation. That’s fame, baby!
‘No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!!’ *cue Shirley Bassey*