My First Day At Work, by Davecat, aged five

typed for your pleasure on 3 September 2005, at 1.54 am

Sdtrk: ‘Be’ by the Hospitals

After eight months, nearly the gestation period for a human being, I’m back to being ‘gainfully’ employed, circa this Friday. I’m workin’ for The Man now! Well, a man. Well, a couple of men. And there’s women, too, in the corporate offices. They don’t discriminate.
Anyway! So I arrived at the warehouse at 9am, and went through a brief walkthrough with Herb, one of the drivers who reminds me of Warren Oates’ character from ‘Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia‘. He even kinda sounded like him, too. He showed me how to go over the various points on the pre-drive checklist, using a Crossfire as an example. I’ll tell you, one of the few American-made cars I dig is the Crossfire, cos it looks like an SD version of a Jaguar ‘E’-type, and I naturally thought I was going to drive this bad boy. Nope! It needed to be dropped off at one of our clients, so I had to follow Herb in a chase vehicle so he could get back to the office after the drop-off. However, my chase vehicle was a Stratus. Although my first two cars were stickshifts, I hadn’t driven one in a couple of years, but thankfully, it all came back to me in only a couple of minutes’ time. Not too shabby!

Later, I got to drive the Stratus a second time, being a chase vehicle again for a gigantic pickup truck, and my last assignment for the day had me riding along with Herb and another driver, in order to pick up a Magnum from a client downtown. I don’t know what to make of that car. It’s like a station wagon-sport ute-car, or something. Rather nice acceleration, however. I didn’t get to drive that, which was just as well, as I was starting to get sleepy on the journey to get the Magnum. You have to understand that, after I was ejected from my last job my sleep schedule changed, and consequently, I’d be up at noon, and up until 4am, so much to my chagrin, I have to get used to being a Daywalker again. *points to timestamp on post* Heh, good luck with that.

So my first day wasn’t too bad, although it only lasted six hours. Considering the fact that I was sleepy as all get out, it worked out for the best. Since this is a part-time job, our hours are based on the number of assignments that the dispatcher has available, and I’ve been largely told that an average week is usually about 20 – 30 hours, but as I’d said, it’s better than being utterly skint.. It’s a shame I have to take my earrings out while on duty, though. Ugh, how pedestrian. Ha, a pun!