Sdtrk: ‘Hang on Lucifer’ by Seeland

As you’re probably aware, it had been a couple of years since my affictitious wife Sidore and I were in front of the camera for any television or video programmes. Although we had been solicited by a number of less-than-suitable shows, we’ve not been on telly since that episode of Sweden’s programme ‘Outsiders’ back in 2006. So when the respected institution of National Geographic asked after us, needless to say, we leapt at the opportunity…

Our filming was to take place on 14 and 15 June; a Sunday and a Monday. Which, as you’d suspect, was awkward, as it wasn’t a week-end, but despite researcher Emily Potts’ tireless lobbying efforts towards the producer, no other windows were available. As a matter of fact, whilst one crew were filming us, another crew would be filming fellow iDollator Everard over in England, at the same time. Coincidence? Scheduling!
Emily told me to expect a call from Jeff Siberry, the crew director, on Saturday, to confirm a few things. The crew would comprise himself, another Geoff (the cameraman), and Jen (handling sound). Earlier that Saturday, Tsukihime had stopped round for a very pleasant surprise visit, and at one point, the phone rang, displaying a blocked number, and as I never answer those type of calls, I let voicemail handle it. Hours after Tsukihime made her leave, I checked my voicemail, and it turned out to be J.Siberry (I’ll refer to him by that name from this point on, in order to prevent confusing the ubernyms), calling before hopping on the flight to DTW. Yep, I forgot that he was due to call. He got a hold of me later that eve, but he said he wouldn’t be showing up on Sunday, as he’d come down with something, and he didn’t want to spread the T-virus to everyone in SE Michigan. Sound advice! J.Siberry said that he’d be hitting an urgent care place when he got off the phone, so he could load up on antibiotics, but Geoff and Jen would still be coming round for shooting on Sunday at 9.30am, and he would join them to ask me interview questions on Monday. That having been sussed, Shi-chan and I hit the sack round midnight, which is early for us, completely abuzz with antici… pation.

The alarm clock got us up at a hideous 7am, in order for us to get ready. Which was good, as originally the plan was for the Missus to wear a corset she received from new BFF Trina, over a dress she received from Mari, but it didn’t quite work out that way — the corset was fighting me, for one — but Shi-chan picked out an ensemble that was Gothy, yet understated. But then, she always manages to look good in nearly anything…
Geoff and Jen arrived at Deafening silence Plus a wee bit after 9.30. Now, the production company for ‘Taboo’ is based in Australia, but is more global than local, as befits the name National Geographic. Geoff, although originally from Sydney, currently lives in the East coast of the States, and Jen, also from Sydney, resides in Los Angeles. So after the introductions, the compliments about the flat (‘how long did it take you to collect all these figures?), and how lovely the Missus looked (‘she’s really stunning’), and hauling 80 lbs of equipment into the place, we got started round 10. It was mostly ‘action’ shots — updating Shi-chan’s Twitter feed, having brekky, things of that nature. People don’t think you can have a domestic life with a RealDoll as a partner, but we’re living proof it can be done! Well, the ‘living’ part is fifty per cent of it, really.

According to Emily, our segment would be slated to appear in an episode entitled ‘Extreme Relationships’ — which immediately conjures images of the Missus and I surfing down scorching waves of lava down the side of a volcano whilst fighting pirates bare-handed — part of the goal of the segment was to show viewers that even though I have a Synthetik wife, I’m a regular person just like everyone else. Yeah, I’m snickering, too. But the idea was to show that I have friends that I hang out with, for one. We were also tentatively supposed to film round at my local sushi joint, but unfortunately, that fell through. So at about a quarter to noon, I let Shi-chan rest up on our bed as Geoff and Jen packed up a third of their gear, and we drove up to The Playhouse, aka Derek & Steph’s house, featuring special guest star Joe. Have I mentioned how fantastic my friends are?

Although Jeff couldn’t make an appearance due to prior obligations that day, it went quite well. Not only did Geoff & Jen think highly of The Playhouse, but Derek, Steph, and Joe immediately warmed up to the crew, especially once they learned that they’d worked on various episodes of Mythbusters. We got downstairs to the basement, where our chicanery usually takes place, and the crew filmed us passing the controllers round for Earth Defence Force 2017, although you won’t actually be able to see the screen, due to licensing issues. Originally, Derek and I thought them filming us playing Rock Band 2 would’ve been ace, but could you imagine the rights issues on that??
Over the course of the shoot, Geoff had asked my friends on camera two questions: what do you think of Davecat and Sidore’s relationship, and what do you think of people who are disparaging of iDollator relationships? I’ll not repeat what they’d said (partially cos I can’t remember it), but they all had lovely and heartfelt answers, which is what you would expect from the intelligent and open-minded people that they happen to be. Have I mentioned how fantastic my friends are?

That segment being successfully done and dusted, Geoff and Jen thanked everyone; they were going to break for lunch, and meet up with me back at mine in an hour. About ten minutes after they took off, Mari showed up, having had to attend a memorial service. We all enjoyed a post-game chat, filling her in on proceedings whilst outside in Steph’s backyard vegetable garden. Mari has had, of late, an aversion to appearing on camera — she was in the very first interview we did for French public telly, as well as the still-in-development-hell documentary by Allison De Fren — but she said she’d be willing to answer questions about me, the Missus, or Dolls in general, as long as she wasn’t being filmed. So after cramming a couple of slices of garlic bread into my mouf, I left The Playhouse, with Mari following. Unfortunately, her time window was really limited, as she had to leave for work about fifteen minutes after arriving at mine, but she spoke with Geoff & Jen for a wee bit, and told them to contact her through me if they needed any additional info. Have I mentioned how fantastic my friends are?

Filming continued apace, as the crew spent the last three hours shooting me dressing the Missus, brushing her silky purple locks, carrying her to and fro, showing off her armoire and explaining the various items in it, etc etc. We wrapped up for the day round 4pm, everyone agreeing that things were going incredibly well so far, and that we’d pick it up the next day at 10am. Apart from the fact that my legs were virtually throbbing due to all that Doll-lifting, so far so good!

NEXT UP: Monday!