Sdtrk: ‘Down in the park’ by Tubeway army

In the interest of full disclosure, I wrote this review like two months ago, before Sidore’s renewal. Why didn’t I update it, considering that factor? Well, this review was technically supposed to have been published last Winter. Yeeeaahh. Slow but (mostly) thorough: that’s the Deafening silence Plus motto! *adjusts collar*

Anyone who knows me on any vaguely-detailed level knows that I love womens’ feet. They have an almost hypnotic effect on me, which you may consider sad, but everyone’s gotta have a hobby. Sidore adores them as well, which only stands to reason.
Sometime in 2009, KnightHorse, makers of the luscious series of Synthetik companions known as Lovable Dolls, began expanding their product line with other items, such as Lovable Feet, which I’d mentioned in a previous instalment of ‘Any Doll-related news, Davecat?‘. KnightHorse posted a cluster of appealing preview photos on their official flickr page, to which Shi-chan made a few favourable comments. Matt Krivicke, head of KnightHorse, remembered me from when he was working at Abyss creations, when the crew from the Swedish telly programme ‘Outsiders’ had flown me out to Abyss’ studios for part of my segment. Viewers may recall a brief shot from that, where I was gleefully fondling a pair of Doll feet. From those instances, Matt K pretty much sussed that Shi-chan and I dig girlfeet, so in the interest of product testing (and because he’s just Cool People like that), he offered us a crack at being beta testers, specifically with a tall pair of their Lovable Feet. Technically speaking, they’re really for Shi-chan to play with, but she’s graciously allowed me the use of one of them for this review…

To give you a good contrast, I’ve rated them against the pair of Dollfeet that I’d purchased a few years ago, from a bloke that was working on a silicone Doll of his own. Unfortunately, I’ve no idea what became of him or his project. Normally I’d go with the obvious comparison of how the Lovable Feet stack up to my own wife’s pretty peds, but I don’t think that would be fair, as the Missus was built in 2000, and as we all know, structurally, RealDolls have changed quite a number of times since then. It’d be like comparing a well-maintained Sixties-era Vespa, to a Lambretta that just rolled out of the factory a month ago. They’re both lovely scooters, but it’s hardly as if you can ride them both at the same time!
Sorry, that analogy made no sense whatsoever. Just go ahead and pretend I didn’t write that.

Left: a homebrew pair of Dollfeet; right: Lovable Feet in Tall

First off, KnightHorse have two different types of Lovable Feet on offer: the short ones that stop (or is that start?) at the ankle, and the tall, which go all the way up to just below where a Doll’s knees would be. As More Leg obviously equals More Sexy Funtime, I chose a tall pair, in the Milk skintone. Also, since one of the disappointing aspects of the other pair of Dollfeet I have — from this point on, I’ll simply refer to them as OPDF — would be that they’re so short ankle-wise, I took the opportunity to go with a taller pair. The Lovable Feet measure roughly 15 inches from the top of the leg to the heel, and the foot is an accommodating US sz 8. They’re two sizes larger than Shi-chan’s own feet, which means I can’t swap out shoes, but that’s quite alright. Also, each Lovable Foot features a handy eyebolt atop the leg, for storage / hanging convenience, should you not choose to simply have them lying round, sexing up the joint.

Speaking of sexy, they do an incredible job on that front! Thanks to the ‘bone structure’ in the Lovable Feet naturally being the same ones found in KnightHorse’s popular Lovable Dolls, not only are the toes able to point like Organik feet, but I was pleasantly surprised to discover that they also rotate at the ankle. The calves feel firm and athletic, and have a lovely turn to them. And the feet themselves… well, they feel heavenly. From the springy flexibility of the toes, to the curve of the instep, to the gentle sturdiness of the heel, they’re a foot lover’s dream. The pigmentation is expertly done — the soles are a nice healthy pink, and the rest of the foot is a pale, creamy skintone. Massaging them feels great — the platinum silicone makes for smooth skin that feels realistic in one’s hands. Or one’s mouth, for that matter. You know.
Incidentally, as the toenails are press-on and take nailvarnish quite well, I should note that acetone-based nailvarnish remover can’t be used on them, otherwise you’ll end up with melted toenails. Which of course, would be the opposite of attractive! Regular dish liquid should do the business. And speaking further of those delicately-shaped toes, when you first get your own pair to enjoy, you might find that some of them are moulded together, but they’re easily cut apart with the careful use of an X-Acto blade.

However, as with all things, there’s a couple of areas where the Lovable Feet fall short, unfortunately. In comparing them to the OPDF, they lack footprints, for instance. You’re familiar with the whorls and swirls of fingerprints, right? So it goes with footprints, and that’s one of the qualities that really impressed me when I first started fondling inspected the OPDF, but sadly, the Lovable Feet lack that detail… hopefully it’ll be implemented in future models.
Errm, that’s it! That’s really the only fault I can honestly find with KnightHorse’s lovely Lovable Feet. Although an idea had crossed my mind: the bloke that made the OPDF was also working on a single animatronic foot. Same level of detail, but with the added bonus of servos inside that gave the user the ability to make the forefoot flex. I’d only seen a video of it in testing, and my eyes lit up like it was Christmas. If I recall correctly, it sold on eBay for a sum that was out of my price range at the time, which is why I don’t own it now. At any rate, I was thinking — how fantastic would it be to toss a couple of servos in a pair of Lovable Feet? That sort of experiment would be better suited to a Tall pair, as you could cram the wiring, batteries, and etc inside the calf. Eh? Eh?? Of course there might be some logistical problems somewhere along the line, but I’m the ideas man, not the engineer!
Apart from that, it’s safe to say that I give my wholehearted seal of approval!

So there you have it! KnightHorse’s Lovable Feet. Sexy in shoes, seductive in hosiery, sensuous without. Available in ten different skintones, priced $249 (plus shipping) for the Short pair, and $499 (plus shipping) for the Tall. If you didn’t have a foot fetish before, well, they’ll soon change that!

EDIT (22 Nov 2013): Don’t know why it took me so long to do this, but KnightHorse as a company no longer exist, as noted in this post. Thankfully, they’ve been retooled into a new company named Sinthetics, and they were kind enough to add the photos I’d taken of my Lovable Feet (well, the silicone ones they’d made for me, that is; my own feet are the opposite of lovable) to their Viewbook client galleries. You can peer at them here!