Sdtrk: ‘You made a fool of me’ by Doris

It’s 19 July again! Astute / lucid / vaguely awake readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’ will recognise that date as being the three-year anniversary of this godforsaken site. It’s true! From its humble beginnings on Blogger, to the high-tech bleeding-edge WordPress cyber-website you see before you, I’ve frankly no idea how I’ve been able to keep this up for three years, much less three months. Truly, a Mystery to Everyone Involved. But all those posts on Dolls and Gynoids certainly don’t hurt, though.
Before the move was made to WordPress in December of last year, regular readers endured enjoyed the blog’s tagline, which was changed every week. The previous two anniversary posts listed and explained a number of them, which naturally means that this post will detail the final set. Are you sitting comfortably? Good! Then let’s begin…

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

+ Sorry, I’ve eaten my hostage
If I’m not mistaken, I stole this from Monti. Or it could simply be ripped from the pages of real life

+ Hidden Valley Ranch, built on Pepperidge Farm, in the land of Dairy Queen
And on that ranch stands a gleaming White Castle; home to the Burger King, Hardee McDonald, and his wife, Wendy. When they’re not playing Checkers with their Big Boy Arby, they’re usually holding Rally’s (sic). Or they… err… Steak & Shake… Taco bell… I’ve run out of steam. But perhaps it’s for the best

+ Spring into Performance Fleece!
Normally, the catchphrase of the (poisonous) hero of Butter Dimension³, Topato Potato, is ‘Spring into Action!’ However, for one instalment of Jeff Rowland’s WIGU, he and his partner-in-sort-of-crimefighting Sheriff Pony decided to drop by Old Navy, as Topato thought his cape was starting to be unfashionable. So he instead donned a stylish half-zip pullover, and Sheriff Pony shouted the phrase adopted above. It’s pretty catchy! It ranks up there with ‘MECHA-SHIVA! MECHA-SHIVA!’ and ‘As a youth, I used to weep in butcher shops’

+ ‘This is truly the golden age’
If I’m not mistaken, I stole this from some forum or other. Can’t remember the context, but I know it was being used sarcastically

+ ‘If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can’t be very important gods’
A grand quote, attributed to Arthur C. Clarke

+ Shoes and strings and ponies and things
Sing that in a jaunty Lawrence-Welk-backing-singers kinda style, and it’ll make more sense

+ Who can I turn to stereo?
one of the fantastically Surrealist titles from the brain of audio collage manipulator Steven Stapleton, aka Nurse with wound. Other fave titles include ‘Astral dustbin dirge’, ‘Brained by falling masonry’, ‘Stick that chick and feel my steel through your last meal’, ‘Dream of a butterfly inside the skull of a horse’, and ‘Monument to Perez Prado’

+ ‘Next day’s function, high-class luncheon / Food is served, and you’re stone-cold munchin”
From Young MC’s ‘Bust a move’, one of the few rap songs I like. I love the imagery that line presents: you’re standing there at the buffet table, eating as much food as you can with both hands, little fragments of soda cracker launching from your overstuffed gob as you make a half-arsed attempt to greet any nearby guests. ‘Man, have you tried these Vienna sausages? They’re great!’ you say, but it sounds nothing like English as it’s filtered through a mush of masticated canapés, which is a sight that causes the guests to leave hastily. You’re basically eating with such speed, ferocity, and vehemence that you no longer give a shit about manners, propriety, or the fact that you’ve got several blotchy stains on your shirt front. This, then, would be ‘stone cold munchin’’

+ Sorry, did I draw blood again?
I think I might’ve nicked this one from Monti as well… it sounds like something she would’ve come up with

+ ‘I was in the state I’m normally in, which is, “I just can’t write. I can’t think of anything!” Someone said, “Just write that.” And I realised it’s true. The second you start writing about anything, you can write.’
Some rather good writing advice from Jennifer Saunders, the comic genius behind ‘Absolutely fabulous’, circa 2001

+ ‘First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs.’
A quote from Peter Ellis. It’s really remarkable, as you can actually see the sentence decaying in front of you

+ DIVIDING BY ZERO: it builds character
from 4chan: one of the running memes was a picture of a blackhole, with the caption ‘I divided by zero! OH SHI -‘. Someone went one better and created the phrase you see before you

+ ‘I’m Marvin Gaye, shot by my own father’
Long story behind this’un. I’ll just leave it at this: it’s a line written by brilliantly insidious media shit-disturber Chris Morris, from an episode of Brass Eye

+ WTF IS RINGO DOING HE’S JUST SITTING THERE
On YouTube, someone had uploaded a video clip of the Beatles from the mid-Sixties, which was from a television special or similar, and it featured the world’s favourite wacky Scousers sitting on a plank supported by two sawhorses. They sat astride the plank, facing the camera, and singing one of their hits. John and George had their guitars, and Paul had his bass, and all of them were lip-syncing, apart from Ringo, who was sat behind them all, holding up a parasol for the length of the song. The tagline came verbatim from some random individual’s comment. Brilliant

+ Yeah, let’s don’t learn Chinese but say we did.
Sound advice!

+ ‘Writers are the most masturbatory of creatures. Ask any writer — they’re like monkeys.’
Anthony Burgess, hitting the nail on the head once again

+ Message in a bottle, on the deck of a ship that is also in a bottle
How very… meta. Rather like this charming picture I happen to have of Mahoro.

Infinite recursion? Don’t mind if I do!

+ ‘You’re such a wonderful person / But you got problems’
I know quite a few people that fit that description! From ‘Breaking glass’, off David Bowie’s album Low

+ Soup that makes its own gravy
ALEX TREBEK: ‘I also would’ve accepted “Soup that eats like a wheel”‘

+ If this were my last tagline here, what would I say?

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

With the way the new site is laid out, having taglines would make the banner double awkward, so I do at times miss bringing something new to that particular table. But on the other hand, that’s one less thing I have to keep track of!…

As always, I would like to convey an immense Thank you to all of the readers of ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’, whether you’re a regular round these parts (you know who you are), or just popping round for a post or two. Or rooting through the ‘RealDolls & other “love dolls”‘ category, which seems to be the trend lately. Nevertheless! Here’s to another year, then! *dinks glass*