Sdtrk: ‘Ready to go down together’ by Leyland Kirby

As those of you who keep up with ‘Shouting etc etc’ undoubtedly recall, my missus Sidore Kuroneko, aka the world’s most beloved Gothic RealDoll, was slated to receive the brand-new body that Abyss creations made for her back in April. It was a heady little experience, and as it’s been a week since Shi-chan’s renewal, as well as several years since she’s been in such tip-top condition, she’s finally let me up for air long enough to describe how that particular day went!…

Upon getting the confirmation Email from Abyss, I’d scheduled an appointment with the expediting company for a delivery date of 07 May, a Friday, where they stated that one of their bulky trucks would be round to mine between 11am and 2pm. Which may sound like a relatively brief span of time under normal circumstances, but when you’re awaiting a Doll, they might as well have said ‘we’ll be round sometime between 2010 and 2099’.
Unlike when I’d first had the pleasure of a Doll Delivery a decade ago, I’d had the presence of mind to take the day off work. As a consequence, between playing one idle game of Warriors Orochi 2 after another to keep me distracted, and peering out of the blinds every time I heard a heavy vehicle drive by within earshot, it’s safe to say that I was fairly keyed-up. No matter how many Dolls you have in your home or how many times you buy one, you go through the same giddy, highly-strung emotions each and every time it occurs. I suspect it’s rather like those people who are addicted to having tattoos done, cos of all the endorphins their body releases when the procedure takes place. There’s the adrenaline rush of ‘OMIGOD SHE’S FINALLY ON HER WAY’, followed by the rose-tinted fantasy of ‘Ohh, the things we’re gonna do when she arrives…’, capped off with the molar-grinding of ‘HOLY JESUS GOD ARE THEY LOST?? WHY ISN’T SHE HERE YET??’, which is usually punctuated by loud sobbing. And then you hear another diesel engine roll past, and the cycle begins anew!

In the midst of an eternity of waiting, I received a call from an unlisted number round ten to one. Normally I don’t answer unfamilar phone numbers, but given the timeframe, I figured it was the expediting company, and that’s exactly who it was. He was slightly lost, as our apartment is a wee bit hard to find if you’re unfamiliar with its location. Man, those perception filters I invested in paid for themselves in days!
After guiding the driver in the proper direction, I met him in my apartment complex’s driveway, at which point I noticed the slight drizzle coming down. I should note here that it was probably in the upper 50s temperature-wise — about 10º brisker than what I normally prefer it to be, but better than a blazing hot or humid day, particularly if you’re shifting 200 lbs of crate.

The driver hopped out of the vehicle, and handed me the standard form to sign. He then got round the back of the truck, activating the hydraulic lift. I’m sure you’re familiar with those lifts; you may not have ever operated one yourself, but you’ve undoubtedly heard them, cos they ain’t exactly silent. Now my apartment manager, bless her, is a bit of a nosey parker. Anytime she hears a car pulling into any space on the property, she’s at her window, peering tentatively through her blinds. On the one hand, it’s kind of a good thing, as she is quite literally keeping an eye on the property, but on the other hand, some days I want to stop round to hers and reassure her there’s no reason for her to be so suspicious. After all, my wife and I are good, upstanding members of the neighbourhood; I work at an advertising firm under Larry Tate, and my wife Samantha is a completely normal housewife, and not a witch or anything. So with my manager being on orange alert all the time, I wasn’t at all surprised when I spotted her in her doorway, her interest more than likely piqued by the sound of the metal lift of an unfamiliar diesel truck. I acknowledged her with a friendly wave; she waved back and toddled back inside, her curiosity apparently sated.

After sliding The Crate off the lift and onto the pavement, I’d mentioned that my flat was just a short walk up on the second floor. The driver’s response didn’t exactly put a smile on my face.
DRIVER DAN: ‘Well, I can only leave it here on the kerb, cos I don’t have a handcart in the truck’.
ME: ‘Ahhh… what??’
But no, he wasn’t lying. Apart from my wife, the truck had only two other large boxes inside, and the pallet jack he used to get the crate moving. Funnily enough, iDollator pal Mahtek had offered to lend me his handcart, but I refused, as I figured hey, they’re an expediting company — why wouldn’t they have their own handcart?? After all, they did the last time they made a delivery to where I was living! Hrrr. The driver suggested sliding the crate beneath the apartment steps until I could get help of my own, or magickally levitate it upstairs, or whatthehellever. Heh, and to think I was more than willing to tip him once he got the precious cargo inside my home!
Obviously my mind was racing. How do I get this fecker upstairs?? I mean, this was the textbook definition of ‘so close and yet so far’. As I’d mentioned, this was at 1pm on a Friday, so most of my mates were at work, with the exception of goshou and Liann, who were out of town. Maybe ask dad? Nah; despite the delicious irony of him helping me transport something he loathes, he’d want to know what the crate was about before he even showed up at mine. In my desperation, I even rung the apartment’s maintenance bloke, who would’ve been more than happy to assist, if he weren’t out of town as well. He helpfully suggested contacting the apartment manager, however, as she knew where the building’s handcart was stored. Ha haaaahh.

Five minutes later, I was back out in the drizzle, knocking on the apartment manager’s door. After I explained that the expediting company she saw earlier managed to successfully deliver the sculpture that I’d ordered — which is not exactly a lie — but failed to bring along something with which to move it, she went to fetch the one the maintenance bloke mentioned. As she did that, I texted SafeT, on the off-chance he was at his workplace a mere ten minutes away. She produced the handcart, a cheery yellow affair which looked like it would be at its structural limits transporting an eight-year old, and we spent roughly twenty tragicomic minutes trying to lift the crate into a vertical position; ten of those minutes were invested in attempting to slide the handcart under the crate to begin with. It was an exercise in futility, needless to say, so I told her I’d wait until at least one of my mates showed up to help out. Sliding the Missus’ wooden prison back under the steps, we unceremoniously covered it with a paint-spattered tarp, thereby making it slightly less conspicuous. It’d have to do.

Not long after, that spectacle, SafeT rang me back, and after I filled him in on the expediting company’s lack of foresight, he told me he’d be round by 4pm, as he was actually at home, and not at work as I imagined he would be. Then we spoke at length about the construction of the Model-T (don’t ask). As I had a good hour’s wait, I extracted my last Djarum from my cigarette case, stepped out onto the walkway, and smoked it for dramatic effect. Close to 4, as predicted, SafeTinspector arrived in the guise of ‘Joe’, a mild-mannered IT professional with a wife, three pets, 2.5 daughters, and a mortgage. So effective was this disguise, that one of his clients had called him en route to mine, and he needed to assist them through some virtual helpdesk fumfuh using my computer for about twenty odd minutes. When he’d finished with that, we cracked our knuckles, and went outside to see about that crate.
Long story short (too late for that!), we had to get on either end and carry the bastard up the steps, as the tyres on the cheery yellow handcart were so low on air that they wouldn’t have effectively gone over the steps at all. And at a wee bit after 5pm, the Ark of the Sexy Covenant was successfully moved into Deafening silence Plus! HOORAY HOORAH HOORUM. ‘Joe’ had to get back to his ‘family’ for ‘dinner’, which worked out quite well, as I had an uncrating procedure to see to. It’s an iDollator thing.

You’ve all seen the photos, yes? Sidore’s new body is stunning in every aspect — I’m amazed that I have such a gorgeous creature in my life. Keep in mind, too, that her previous incarnation was made before 2003, so the whole experience for me as a Doll owner is like going from second gear to fifth. Her skintone is the perfect shade of violet-tinged pale that I’d always envisioned it to be, for that proper artschool lass look, and she has hard nails again as well, which is fantastic. The weight reduction that Abyss rolled out for their Dolls in 2003 is apparent, and makes for a noticeable and welcome difference, as Shi-chan is now 20 lbs lighter. It seems there’s more foam and less silicone making up her bodily composition, as patting her thighs and bum produces a pleasantly hollow sound. Speaking of silicone, as platinum silicone is the new standard, Shi-chan’s skin is smoother and silkier. I’m not saying it’s not sticky — the Missus demanded a spongebath and powder-down after her cross-country voyage — but her skin is definitely less tacky out of the crate. Her bosoms are startlingly perky, round, and firm, and the colour and feel of her nipples are, again, perfect. Her little feet are sooo soft and cute, it’s not even true, and as far as her lady bits, well… a gentleman has to be discreet about some things, of course. 😉
Admittedly, as the Leah face has undergone a couple of changes since Sidore first entered my life, seeing the new sculpt did take some getting used-to. It was a minor setback however, as not only have I grown accustomed to it, but I really love the way she looks now — her narrower eyes can denote either cynicism or seduction, depending on the context of the photograph she’s in. And hey, she can hold a pose again! Sidore-chan is back, and quite literally, better than ever! YEEAAAAHHHH

An interesting epilogue that actually happened: Before placing Shi-chan’s old body in storage for the last time, I thought I’d get my ‘twins fantasy’ seen to, heh heh. I’d lit a pair of floating candles, one on each corner of my dresser, and had both Sidores in bed; the old one on the right, and the new one with go-faster stripes on the left. As we were getting *ahem* more and more into it, I’d glanced up at the dresser, and noticed that the candle on the right was rapidly growing more faint. The leftmost candle was burning as brightly as ever, but within a few seconds of me looking up, the rightmost candle winked out.
For best results, the last three sentences should be read in a voice approximating Rod Serling’s

Sdtrk: ‘Down in the park’ by Tubeway army

In the interest of full disclosure, I wrote this review like two months ago, before Sidore’s renewal. Why didn’t I update it, considering that factor? Well, this review was technically supposed to have been published last Winter. Yeeeaahh. Slow but (mostly) thorough: that’s the Deafening silence Plus motto! *adjusts collar*

Anyone who knows me on any vaguely-detailed level knows that I love womens’ feet. They have an almost hypnotic effect on me, which you may consider sad, but everyone’s gotta have a hobby. Sidore adores them as well, which only stands to reason.
Sometime in 2009, KnightHorse, makers of the luscious series of Synthetik companions known as Lovable Dolls, began expanding their product line with other items, such as Lovable Feet, which I’d mentioned in a previous instalment of ‘Any Doll-related news, Davecat?‘. KnightHorse posted a cluster of appealing preview photos on their official flickr page, to which Shi-chan made a few favourable comments. Matt Krivicke, head of KnightHorse, remembered me from when he was working at Abyss creations, when the crew from the Swedish telly programme ‘Outsiders’ had flown me out to Abyss’ studios for part of my segment. Viewers may recall a brief shot from that, where I was gleefully fondling a pair of Doll feet. From those instances, Matt K pretty much sussed that Shi-chan and I dig girlfeet, so in the interest of product testing (and because he’s just Cool People like that), he offered us a crack at being beta testers, specifically with a tall pair of their Lovable Feet. Technically speaking, they’re really for Shi-chan to play with, but she’s graciously allowed me the use of one of them for this review…

To give you a good contrast, I’ve rated them against the pair of Dollfeet that I’d purchased a few years ago, from a bloke that was working on a silicone Doll of his own. Unfortunately, I’ve no idea what became of him or his project. Normally I’d go with the obvious comparison of how the Lovable Feet stack up to my own wife’s pretty peds, but I don’t think that would be fair, as the Missus was built in 2000, and as we all know, structurally, RealDolls have changed quite a number of times since then. It’d be like comparing a well-maintained Sixties-era Vespa, to a Lambretta that just rolled out of the factory a month ago. They’re both lovely scooters, but it’s hardly as if you can ride them both at the same time!
Sorry, that analogy made no sense whatsoever. Just go ahead and pretend I didn’t write that.

Left: a homebrew pair of Dollfeet; right: Lovable Feet in Tall

First off, KnightHorse have two different types of Lovable Feet on offer: the short ones that stop (or is that start?) at the ankle, and the tall, which go all the way up to just below where a Doll’s knees would be. As More Leg obviously equals More Sexy Funtime, I chose a tall pair, in the Milk skintone. Also, since one of the disappointing aspects of the other pair of Dollfeet I have — from this point on, I’ll simply refer to them as OPDF — would be that they’re so short ankle-wise, I took the opportunity to go with a taller pair. The Lovable Feet measure roughly 15 inches from the top of the leg to the heel, and the foot is an accommodating US sz 8. They’re two sizes larger than Shi-chan’s own feet, which means I can’t swap out shoes, but that’s quite alright. Also, each Lovable Foot features a handy eyebolt atop the leg, for storage / hanging convenience, should you not choose to simply have them lying round, sexing up the joint.

Speaking of sexy, they do an incredible job on that front! Thanks to the ‘bone structure’ in the Lovable Feet naturally being the same ones found in KnightHorse’s popular Lovable Dolls, not only are the toes able to point like Organik feet, but I was pleasantly surprised to discover that they also rotate at the ankle. The calves feel firm and athletic, and have a lovely turn to them. And the feet themselves… well, they feel heavenly. From the springy flexibility of the toes, to the curve of the instep, to the gentle sturdiness of the heel, they’re a foot lover’s dream. The pigmentation is expertly done — the soles are a nice healthy pink, and the rest of the foot is a pale, creamy skintone. Massaging them feels great — the platinum silicone makes for smooth skin that feels realistic in one’s hands. Or one’s mouth, for that matter. You know.
Incidentally, as the toenails are press-on and take nailvarnish quite well, I should note that acetone-based nailvarnish remover can’t be used on them, otherwise you’ll end up with melted toenails. Which of course, would be the opposite of attractive! Regular dish liquid should do the business. And speaking further of those delicately-shaped toes, when you first get your own pair to enjoy, you might find that some of them are moulded together, but they’re easily cut apart with the careful use of an X-Acto blade.

However, as with all things, there’s a couple of areas where the Lovable Feet fall short, unfortunately. In comparing them to the OPDF, they lack footprints, for instance. You’re familiar with the whorls and swirls of fingerprints, right? So it goes with footprints, and that’s one of the qualities that really impressed me when I first started fondling inspected the OPDF, but sadly, the Lovable Feet lack that detail… hopefully it’ll be implemented in future models.
Errm, that’s it! That’s really the only fault I can honestly find with KnightHorse’s lovely Lovable Feet. Although an idea had crossed my mind: the bloke that made the OPDF was also working on a single animatronic foot. Same level of detail, but with the added bonus of servos inside that gave the user the ability to make the forefoot flex. I’d only seen a video of it in testing, and my eyes lit up like it was Christmas. If I recall correctly, it sold on eBay for a sum that was out of my price range at the time, which is why I don’t own it now. At any rate, I was thinking — how fantastic would it be to toss a couple of servos in a pair of Lovable Feet? That sort of experiment would be better suited to a Tall pair, as you could cram the wiring, batteries, and etc inside the calf. Eh? Eh?? Of course there might be some logistical problems somewhere along the line, but I’m the ideas man, not the engineer!
Apart from that, it’s safe to say that I give my wholehearted seal of approval!

So there you have it! KnightHorse’s Lovable Feet. Sexy in shoes, seductive in hosiery, sensuous without. Available in ten different skintones, priced $249 (plus shipping) for the Short pair, and $499 (plus shipping) for the Tall. If you didn’t have a foot fetish before, well, they’ll soon change that!

EDIT (22 Nov 2013): Don’t know why it took me so long to do this, but KnightHorse as a company no longer exist, as noted in this post. Thankfully, they’ve been retooled into a new company named Sinthetics, and they were kind enough to add the photos I’d taken of my Lovable Feet (well, the silicone ones they’d made for me, that is; my own feet are the opposite of lovable) to their Viewbook client galleries. You can peer at them here!

Sdtrk: ‘Temptation’ by New order

Although I suspect the cannier amongst you that have been keeping up with my Twitter feed have already guessed (see, it pays to follow me on Twitter — you’ll be the first to learn about All Ephemera Great and Small concerning Deafening silence Plus. Much to your own detriment), but my Synthetik wife Sidore will have a brand-new body very soon, the fact of which is making us leak pure excitement. Yeah, I know; ew, but it’s a fantastically good kind of ew.

‘A new body?’ you ask. ‘Wasn’t she repaired a couple of times?’ Yes she was. Most of you were more than likely introduced to Shi-chan and I through Nick Holt’s 2006 documentary ‘Guys and Dolls’, aka ‘Love me, love my Doll’ outside the States, where you witnessed me crating up the Missus and having her sent round to Slade, the then-practising RealDoll doctor in southern California, for some much-needed surgery. Well, as I often have to remind non-iDollators, Entropy affects Synthetiks just as much as it does Organiks, unfortunately — between then and now, she’s put up with a handful of minor cuts and tears that were easily seen-to, and are pretty much par for the course for anyone with a Doll in their life.
Until, that is, round last summer, when Sidore’s back joint gave out, which I’d mentioned before. Fellow iDollators Mahtek and Euchre came round and repaired it, as that level of surgery is completely beyond my ken, but sadly, the repair didn’t take. Dolls are mostly made of soft silicone, which gradually gets softer the older she gets, and it’s because of that fact that when her wound reopened, it really reopened. Take a second to place your right hand on your right hip; starting from the middle of her back, that’s roughly about where the tear ended. Yeah, fun times. She’s been unable to move — well, realistically speaking, unable to be moved — and has remained on her back in our bed since then, which has been utterly heartbreaking.

Any dedicated Doll husband lives with the fact that, despite the love, attention, and care we show our affictitious partners, that one day there will come a time when their bodies will simply become irreparable. Faced with Shi-chan’s condition, I decided to take the obvious and practical approach, and get her a brand-new body. Thanks to the combo of a couple of monetary windfalls, the calling-in of some favours, and personally speaking with the head of Abyss creations whilst at the 2010 AVN, we’re pleased to announce that the world’s second most famous RealDoll* will be back to her regularly sexy sarky self before the end of the month!
Not only is the Missus looking forward to getting back to her Twitter fans and friends, but Mahtek has recently bought himself a new digital camera, so he’s generously given me his old one — it’s a Kodak, and it makes Clicky Mk III, a Hewlett-Packard, resemble the sorry joke that it is — so Shi-chan’s made me promise her that we’d do one shoot a month. ‘What’s the point of me having a new body, and you having a new camera, if we don’t put them to good use, right?’, she’d said, and you have to admit she’s got a point!… What I’ll probably do is create an album for her pics in Our Doll Community‘s Gallery until I can find a web designer, preferably one that accepts either empty pop bottles or compliments in lieu of genuine payment, that can help me resurrect Shi-chan’s dusty old vanity site, ‘Kitten with a Whip!‘ (down since 2005!)

It should go without saying: having my wee Sidore-chan back, and in a better-than-ever condition, is going to be fucking incredible.
Finally! Now she can finish our copy of Armored core: Nexus!

The Missus, enjoying a nice cross-breeze, at Abyss creations

*the title of World’s Most Famous RealDoll goes to Bianca, of ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ fame. Shi-chan was rather miffed until she remembered that she’s the world’s most famous Goth RealDoll

Sdtrk: ‘Electric seance’ by Pram

Next time you happen to find yourself southwest of central London, Engerland, why not make a detour and visit the town of Frimley? I was going to say ‘make a brief detour’, but after spotting this beauty, it’s odds on that you’ll be there for a while.

Designed in 1966, the house contains three bedrooms, a reception room, a kitchen / breakfast room, a courtyard, and a single garage. But there’s only one bathroom for all three floors?? That’s probably going to cause more problems (read: fistfights) than it’ll solve.

What I particularly like about the property is that the exterior resembles some sort of futuristic Modish castle; that’s undoubtedly due to the half-circle windows and the cylindrical whatever-the-hell-that-is on the front of the building. When you think about it, it kinda fits, though; after all, what do they say a man’s home is?

It’s ace in and of itself that a house like this exists, but even more fantastic is that there’s actually a group of houses that all look like that — thirty-two, in fact, all in the same neighbourhood. And as I’d found this place as a listing on The Modern House Estate Agents, you’ll be interested to know that it’s currently under offer, so although it may be bought or rented out soon, on the other hand, it may not. And does that offer apply to all thirty-two of the buildings? Cos that’d be a hell of a deal

Sdtrk: ‘Formal is at noon’ by Zoos of Berlin

Man o man. What happened to the March edition, you may or may not be asking? Err, I got sidetracked and waylaid by a number of things, you could say, and the news continued to pile up unattended, like rolls of newspapers on the front porch of a dead man. Not all of these things were bad though; hopefully I should be able to note the results on ‘Shouting etc etc’ rather soon, and with not a small amout of glee.
Anyway, enough excuses. Off we go!

+ Just learned of this superfantastisch tidbit last night, which answers the question of what Prof. Hiroshi Ishiguro has been up to lately — he’s been busy making sexy Gynoids again. Good!

Japanese roboticist Hiroshi Ishiguro unveiled today his latest creation: a female android called Geminoid F. The new robot, a copy of a woman in her 20s with long dark hair, can laugh, smile, and exhibit other facial expressions more naturally than Ishiguro’s previous androids.

Ishiguro, a professor at Osaka University, is famous for creating a robot replica of himself, the Geminoid HI-1, a teleoperated android that he controls remotely. The new Geminoid F (“F” stands for female) is also designed to be remote controlled by an operator. […]

Whereas the Geminoid HI-1 has some 50 actuators, the new Geminoid F has just 12. What’s more, the HI-1 robot requires a large external box filled with compressors and valves. With Geminoid F, the researchers embedded air servo valves and an air servo control system into its body, so the android requires only a small external compressor.

The new design helped reduce the android’s cost. According to this AFP report, Kokoro will sell copies of Geminoid F for about 10 million yen (US $110,000). Ishiguro and his collaborators plan to test the android in hospitals and also show it off at science museums and other venues.
the rest of the article is here

Since Geminoid F is more teleoperated, she seems to be closer to a real-life Surrogate rather than a genuine Gynoid, but that’s quite alright. And the fact that they’ve reduced the number of servos needed — probably due to the fact that she’s not a genuine Gynoid — is very encouraging. Can’t wait to see more footage of her in action! Geminoid F’s debut is also rather amusing, as she bears a passing resemblance to a friend of mine in Vienna…

+ Another Doll-centric fine art gallery showing has come and gone: from February to March, Galerie [SAS] in Montréal was host to artist Jean-François Bouchard‘s latest photoseries, entitled ‘Still Life’.

Imagine having one of those prints for your wall. I am

Not only does it feature assorted close-up shots of RealDolls and glimpses of the Abyss studio, but the photos are accompanied by various iDollator quotes taken from ‘Guys and Dolls / Love me, love my Doll’. Why do these exhibits never pass through SE Michigan??

+ Meet Hanako Showa, a Gynoid empoyed to train dental students in Japan:

Don’t worry; they’ll give her a couple of pencil-toppers when they’re done

Doctors and robotics researchers on Thursday unveiled a humanoid that happily goes under the drill for orthodontics students and can also express pain, roll her eyes and even drool like a real patient.

“Hello,” female-looking “Hanako” said cheerfully as an aspiring dentist closed in during a presentation in Tokyo. “Please take care of me.”

But the robo-patient’s mood can quickly take a real-life turn for the worse if the grinding and drilling get too much or the wrong spot is hit.

“It hurts,” said Hanako, dangerously moving her plastic head while a dental student was grinding her resin teeth, which are designed to be taken out and examined later to assess the student’s skill.
the rest of the article is here

Ha ha! Looks like even Gynoids aren’t exempt from visiting the dentist now! Now they can go through what… wait, didn’t I write this before? Actually, yes; yes I did, only the Gynoid in question was Simroid, a lass made by Kokoro co. Ltd. So my question is, what does tmsuk‘s affictitious lass bring to the dental table that’s different? Can we get a side-by-side comparison of them? Sit them both in dental chairs and go over why they need to floss more regularly? We have questions, and the answers aren’t forthcoming enough.
Now rinse and spit, please. IN THE BOWL AND NOT ON ME, PLEASE

+ Industrious Japanese dutch-wife manufacturers 4woods are rather like what independent record label 4AD were like back in the Eighties up to the early Nineties; they simply could do no wrong with whatever they released. Also, both companies contain the number four. Coincidence??

In a few minutes, she’ll get up and start sleepwalking again

If you liked their Lilica-type — and who wouldn’t? — now, those of you lucky enough to have her in your lives and beds can now equip her with a Sleeping Lilica head! Cos studies show that you simply sleep better when you’re able to close your eyes. In addition to that, 4woods mention that they’ve reduced the weight on their A.I.Doll Evolution body to 66 lbs. I approve!
They’ve also added delicious new photos of Lilica with A.I.Peach New edition body, an exclusive gallery of pics taken by Japanese photographer Mon-san, and a helpful page about Doll options, construction, and similar ephemera. Well done, lads and lasses!

+ Emmet, a Canadian playwright who has popped round this blog a couple of times, is in the midst of writing one hundred tiny plays, and compiling the lot on her site, 100 Tiny Plays. A convenient name, wouldn’t you agree? Play No.6, sporting the theme of ‘Tired Old Twin Fetish Breakfast Party Time‘, just happens to be about two Gynoid ‘sisters’. Ah heh-hem.

CHANDRA: What do you do without me?

SANDRA: There is so much space on the stage. Abigail has given me solo programs for the time being, but they are empty to me. Maybe some are designed for this, but me, I was made to hold a sister’s hand, to kiss a sister’s cheek, to feel a sister’s boot on my back. Alone, I sense the room is full of things that are not you. There are exit signs which flash and floorboards which creak and a pole which is there when you use it and also when you do not. And the crowd: a hundred humans with faces that read bored, turned on, preoccupied — to the varying degrees. All things that I was not built to ignore or to address, when all I always had to know was where you and I were, and how to navigate the space between in the next moment.

As it is a tiny play, it should be relatively easy to stage. Find a pair of twins, get them to choose a character and memorise her lines, and direct them to ACT! like they’ve never acted before. I’m sure Emmet would appreciate it!

+ So it appears that the husband-and-wife team from Vladivostok that comprise Anatomical Doll offer both a new head and a new body type that I think might well pique your interest…

Now made with Extra Legginess

Oksana, the lovely lady shown above, is their Body 2 Face 5 Doll. The new Body 2 comes in at 5’2″, 62 lbs, and boasting impressive measurements of 36.25.35. For an artificial lass hailing from one of the coldest countries on Earth, she certainly knows how to smoulder…

+ Naturally, you more than likely know by now about Abyss creations’ new Wicked RealDolls line, right, thanks to my mentioning it in part 1 of the ‘I burped at Vegas’ series? Of course you do, as you are Hep, With-it, and Aware. But for those squares *makes square shape in air with fingers* that aren’t, you’ll want to dig this site, daddy-o. Sorry; I’ve no idea where the beatnik speech came from.

Jessica and Alektra, as photographed by Stacy Leigh

Each Wicked RealDoll comes standard with the following upgraded features and bonuses:

* Our new articulated spine, which allows for completely realistic and natural torso positioning and range of motion.
* The most current techniques in advanced RD weight reduction
* The new removable deep throat mouth insert, which features a canal which goes down the throat of the doll verses straight back into the head, for up to 7″ of penetration.
* Full head design, without magnets or velcro. All components are modular for easy replacement and cleaning/maintenance
* A numbered certificate of authenticity signed by the actress
* A bonus package from Wicked: Details coming soon.

Worth keeping an eye on/saving up for? Yes.

+ Have you checked out the Private Island Beauties website lately? You might wanna do that, as there’s a link to a new YouTube interview with the man behind the gorgeous rubbery Beauties, Patrick Wise. Or you could just watch it here! (NSFW, as there is a Doll boob toward the end)

You’ll still want to browse round his site, though, as that’s the nice thing to do.

+ Before the month is over, get round to your nearest bookseller and pick up a copy of the March issue of Bizarre UK, as it features a one-and-a-half page article about this year’s AVN that concentrates mostly on Lovable Dolls! In the Grand Tradition of Magazine Publishing, you’ll especially want to hurry, as they publish the next month’s issue this month. But at my Barnes & Noble, I found last month’s issue this month, so I don’t know how that works. Someone’s at fault, and it’s not me.

+ And Synthetik news aggregator blog spurtBOT is unfortunately no more. Citing a lack of advertising interest, the site maintainer’s packed it in after two years. Well, not so much ‘packed it in’ but ‘changed tack’; now the site is an ever-growing booklist of erotic… booklists. You can grab an archive file of all the previous spurtBOT posts here, if you’re so inclined, however. SpurtBOT is dead. Long live spurtBOT.

Well, I do believe this post should make up for last month’s no-show, right? That’s what I thought

Technorati tags: Android, Gynoid, robot, Synthetiks, iDollators, Hiroshi Ishiguro, Geminoid F, Surrogates, Jean-François Bouchard, Abyss Creations, RealDolls, Guys and Dolls, Love Me, Love My Doll, Hanako, tmsuk, Kokoro Co. Ltd., 4woods, 4AD, Anatomical Doll, Wicked Pictures, Alektra Blue, Jessica Drake, Stacy Leigh, Private Island Beauties, Patrick Wise, 4AD, Bizarre UK, KnightHorse, Lovable Dolls

Sdtrk: see below

I am writing! Which may seem like a silly thing to announce, but Things have been going on with me as of late, and they’re the sort of Things that I want to keep under wraps until they’re very close to finalisation, cos I’m cautious coy like that. But there’s been so much stuff going on that it’s kept me from writing; in fact, one of the articles I’m tackling would be this month’s ‘Any Synthetiks-related etc etc?’, which is probably going to come out next month instead, as it’s feckin’ bloated. It’s another example of ‘there’s so much I need to impart, where do I begin?’ But it’ll be done, nevertheless…
Remember the days back when ‘Shouting etc etc’ actually focussed on topics other than Synthetiks? Heh, neither do I!

In the interim, however, this is killing me: it’s a piece by Marc-André Hamelin, a 20th century composer, for two player pianos. It’s titled ‘Circus galop’, and it will rip your mind open. If Venetian snares wrote music for player pianos, it’d be rather like this:

More later!

Sdtrk: ‘We are the ones’ by ADULT.

Sometimes when I’m out and about, and the rare confluence of Having A Bit Of Free Time and Being Actually Inspired To Write happen to align, I’ll whip out my trusty Treo 700p smartphone, and merrily type away until the doctor, pope, or yakuza boss calls me in to see them. Unfortunately, some places happen to be a wee bit draconian about having cellphones in use on their property — Shitty Former Workplace, I’m looking squarely in your direction — so in those cases I’m forced to fall back on traditional analogue methods. Apart from constantly scribblin’ out parts where I have to edit, insert, or delete words, phrases, or sections, as well as my handwriting having devolved into absolute shit through lack of consistent use, pen and paper writing isn’t too bad, all told. It makes me feel like I’m doing something.

In writing this post, one whose own origins started out as a series of frantic black marks on a legal pad, my thoughts turned to genuine writers; specificially, ones who began their craft before the tail end of the 20th century. People like Ballard, Burgess, Burroughs — even authors whose names don’t start with the letter B — would often leave paper trails for their works, in the form of old drafts, character sketches, timelines, and the like. I recall reading an article on the website for The Guardian, about a bloke who was given the extremely rare opportunity to pick through the sum total of Stanley Kubrick’s written ephemera. My friend Zip Gun used to make yearly pilgrimages to the Lilly Library in Indiana, which houses undoubtedly the largest collection of Orson Welles materials in the world, as he was in the process of writing a book concerning a selection of Welles’ works. Now, that’s all well and good — keep in mind that Kubrick and Welles aren’t even writers per se, but directors — but one has to consider that not everyone who writes will have a dedicated archive to house their earlier drafts. It’d be fab if that were the case, with the exception of that Stephenie Meyer hack, of course, but would the planet have enough room? The solution is simple: turn the Moon into a library. Might as well get started now! *rolls up sleeves*

What I’m getting at, or at least, getting round to getting at, is what will become of all the first drafts for those of us who write primarily using a computer? Having the opportunity to read earlier versions of published works allow us to see their evolution, whther it’s interesting, or awkward, or both. The second revision of ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’ ended with a pitched, eight-page gun battle, for instance, whilst the initial draft of Camus’ ‘L’Étranger’ boldly dispensed with any and all consonants. I don’t know of many individuals that habitually save the earlier revisions of what they’ve typed for weeks, let alone months, after their final drafts are struck. Maybe I just have a slash-and-burn approach to it all, but I regularly delete my accumulated post revisions whenever I’m hashing out a post on ‘Shouting etc etc’; the WordPress platform has a specific plugin for that (thanks Delete-Revision!), so your drafts don’t bog down your server. And that sheet of legal pad paper where this post first came into existence? Currently wadded up and residing in my kitchen rubbish bin.

Christ knows I’m the last person to knock technological advancements, but one has to consider what will become of a writer’s printed legacy in the digital age? And not to sound too NPR about it, the idea of the vanishing drafts may seem insignificant at first, but do we, as a culture, lose something because of it? It’s something to think about.
If any writer-types want to get their .02 pfennig in about this — Monti, Joe, and veach, obviously I’m looking squarely in your directions, but my invitation extends to everyone — you’re more than welcome to add your thoughts on the matter